Mrfr Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 It's been a week of hell. I don't think I've ever had a tougher period in my life BUT doing NC and reading a tonne of break up advice I can say I've already made improvement. I'm still depressed and get occasional anxiety, I'm still fairly convinced my health problems will get in the way of future relationships (can thank my ex for that) but I'm VERY SLOWLY noticing a change. Tell me that a week ago I wouldn't have believed you. Also, I joined a dating site and already think I have a date. Not sure what to do about it (won't be diving into anything serious) but it's helped my confidence a little. Keep strong everyone!
Apparition Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Hi, mate. I was in your shoes a few years ago. I have no doubt in my mind I was engaged to the devil. I was cheated on, lied to and to top it all off it was her that dumped me in the end. She completely ignored me and just vanished, it was like she no longer existed. I contacted her numerous times throughout my day for almost a few weeks until I learned she was purposely ignoring me (I assumed she was dead or in hospital because she was suicidal). I saw from her Facebook she was having parties and had a new partner. I was practically forced into NC, seeing as she ignored me the whole time and when I found that out, I was fuming with rage. Sitting here now, writing this, I laugh because of how dumb I was despite the fact I know how much pain it caused me at the time. Now, however, I have a beautiful girlfriend and wish to marry her one day. The best thing that my ex ever did to me was treat me that way, dump me and ignore me. Although, I am damaged somewhat from it, but I learned a huge lesson from it. You will, too. Trust me. When you are in NC , it seems like the seconds just drag by throughout the day. Your heart aches with pain no matter where you are or what you are doing. It's truly a horrible feeling to go through. You just want the pain and the thoughts to stop. They will, but you need to give it time. You were with that person you thought you loved and were going to share everything with, when it changes all of a sudden, you need time to adjust to the change and the feeling of not having that "love" anymore. If you can do a week, you can do two and more. Also, you might find when you are with other women that you compare them to your ex. It's normal. We all did it when going through the break-up stage, but just because you are seeing other women does not mean you have to be with them. Do what you're doing, meet new faces, stay in NC, keep busy and when you feel the urge to contact your ex, come here and vent/write it out, but do not contact her. I wish you the best of luck ! 2
Author Mrfr Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Excellent advice thankyou! I get the ex comparison thing, I'm doing it already but telling myself it's only natural. It's such a massive change there's no way to adapt to it quickly, everything has changed. I'm still a long way off being ok but at least something is happening! 1
Author Mrfr Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Bad day, booked a docs appt as I think I need some actual help. Not back to square one but had a huge cry today.
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 It's very, very normal. Try to find something to do that engages your brain but doesn't necessarily challenge you too much or you'll feel under pressure. I'm going back to read one of my favourite books.
Hoaks Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Stay strong you doing great, do not make my mistake of trying to contact. It only brings worse pain. Seeing a doctor is a great step, you are already looking after you. My therapist is helping me, and I come out of the sessions with a little more hope for me everytime.
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