flower132 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Hi, last year i had mild depression over suppressed issues of my past resurfacing including abuse etc. Just as i thought i would never be happy again i met my boyfriend who even though we were together for just 8 months, totally transformed my view on life and made me into the happiest girl in the world. We both fell head over heels for each other, but it was a doomed relationship as before he met me he had already arranged to go to college in another country, 10,000 miles away. I loved him so much i respected his decision and never asked him to change his mind for stay with me, even though he made me happier than id been in years. When he went away we agreed to be just friends but neither of us were ready to let go and somehow still felt as if we were together so obviously jealousy, paranoia, resentment and constant fighting set in, everything that was never there before. He left last August and returned for two weeks last xmas and i wanted to spend every waking minute with him i missed him more than i could bare. He missed me too but i found out he was in fact going out with another girl from his college that he didnt tell me about and it broke my heart. It was just the fact he lied to me, something he NEVER did before. He said he was lonely and missed what we had so she was just for comfort purposes. I stopped talking with him for 3 months but after his constant begging i started talking to him again, but the broken trust caused the constant fighting to resume again. He returned again at the start of July and was a MONSTER to me, socially trying to cut me down over facebook, twitter etc and making it clear how much he hates my guts etc, verbally abusing me horrifically. He was home for a month but made it his business not to run into me for all that time, even though we hadnt seen each other in 7 months. LAST NIGHT he left to go back to his college. He called up before he went to the airport and said how he only said those things to make me think of him as an ******* because he feels as if hes holding me back, making me wait for him all year and he wants me to forget about him and just go be happy even if its with someone else and that he loves me with all his heart but its just not the right time and were still so young. All i think about is him. i know its a doomed relationship and cant work as hes only home for a few weeks a year but im genuinely not interested in anybody else and have pushed everybody i know away, including my best friends. I would rather be alone than not be with him sometimes! I was always an outgoing fun person with lots of friends but now i feel i have only one or two and i never go out anymore. I just feel myself comparing everyone to him, i feel nobody can live up to him as he is just as gorgeous as his personality, and because he is so gorgeous i know he will have no problem getting anyone he wants which hurts too. I dont know whether my feelings are true love or just very strong attachment to him because im desperately lonely without him. help ?
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