ReadySettyGo Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 A female friend recently commented to me how she was having trouble finding a guy (for a relationship). Although she is physically attractive, she basically always dresses modestly and covered up. Offering my male perspective, I suggested perhaps she should show more cleavage to get more male attention. She responded that she didn't want to attract the wrong type of guy. To which I replied, but good guys like cleavage too... they might overlook you if you don't advertise. What do you think? By covering up, is she increasing her chances of finding a decent man, or is she unwittingly making herself invisible to them?
Emilia Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 A female friend recently commented to me how she was having trouble finding a guy (for a relationship). Although she is physically attractive, she basically always dresses modestly and covered up. Offering my male perspective, I suggested perhaps she should show more cleavage to get more male attention. She responded that she didn't want to attract the wrong type of guy. To which I replied, but good guys like cleavage too... they might overlook you if you don't advertise. What do you think? By covering up, is she increasing her chances of finding a decent man, or is she unwittingly making herself invisible to them? She needs to stop hanging out with you. A 'decent man' will want to get to know her regardless of cleavage, not that men can't judge a woman's body fully clothed anyway. If a woman is visible to a man because she doesn't have her tits out, he is not a 'decent man'. 7
MrRightNow Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I don't know if she'll attract higher quality guys by dressing modestly, but I do think guys who meet her will have more respect for her and they'll be more likely to consider her relationship material, instead of just a piece of ass. 3
Author ReadySettyGo Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 She needs to stop hanging out with you. A 'decent man' will want to get to know her regardless of cleavage, not that men can't judge a woman's body fully clothed anyway. If a woman is visible to a man because she doesn't have her tits out, he is not a 'decent man'. She first has to catch the attention of a 'decent man' before he can get to know her. particularly in a social situation where there is female competition. Decent men aren't blind to cleavage. Surely revealing the appropriate/respectful amount of cleavage, not looking tarty, would be an advantage.
Author ReadySettyGo Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 (edited) Women catch more attention with the eyes, smiles, and decent conversation. As fine upstanding citizens that is a polite thing to believe. But those attributes may be great for 'holding' a man's attention, they are not necessarily what 'catches' his attention initially and brings him to her. Edited August 6, 2013 by ReadySettyGo
Author ReadySettyGo Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Many times women signal interest in a man by glancing at him and smiling a lot. That's what reels the men in. It isn't so much the party dresses. Sure that's true, but if the guy is a catch he may be getting glances and smiles from all angles and have the luxury of choice. If I was a girl I would want to make sure I was looking my best. Just a smile and glancing his way may not be enough.
will1988 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Sure a skank-ly-clad woman is something to look at and to fool around with... However, I generally go for the more modest / conservatively dressed girls and I am a decent guy. I think if a girl is showing off too much, guys like me might view her as trashy. I would suggest stop telling her to skank it up and tell her to keep being herself!
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 She needs to stop hanging out with you. A 'decent man' will want to get to know her regardless of cleavage, not that men can't judge a woman's body fully clothed anyway. If a woman is visible to a man because she doesn't have her tits out, he is not a 'decent man'. A decent man is still a man. You can't completely cover up and expect to get attention. Arden Leigh made note that showing skin is beneficial. 1
Author ReadySettyGo Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 If she is as attractive as you say then getting his attention won't be a concern. Yes she's attractive but she is afraid to accentuate her feminine attributes for fear of being seen as slutty.
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Yes she's attractive but she is afraid to accentuate her feminine attributes for fear of being seen as slutty. That fear is BS. Women have no "slutty fears" with certain men. 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Those men will use her for sex and throw her away like a freshly cummed in kleenex. There's no such thing as using someone for sex.
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 If that person wants more than sex and you are only looking for sex but play along then you are exploiting him or her. They're a willing participant. No one's being used. 1
KathyM Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 When my sister did online dating, she originally had a picture on her profile showing her in a party dress with cleavage, and she did get responses from men who were mainly looking for a hookup. When she changed her picture to something attractive but more modest, she still got plenty of attention from men, but the relationship-oriented men, not the ones just looking for casual hookups. Your friend needs to advertise to the target audience. If she advertises sex by flashing some cleavage, then she'll get responses looking for sex. I'm guessing those are not the kind of responses she is looking for. If she is looking for relationship-quality men, an attractive but more modest dress would be the best choice. 1
hppr Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 A female friend recently commented to me how she was having trouble finding a guy (for a relationship). Although she is physically attractive, she basically always dresses modestly and covered up. Offering my male perspective, I suggested perhaps she should show more cleavage to get more male attention. She responded that she didn't want to attract the wrong type of guy. To which I replied, but good guys like cleavage too... they might overlook you if you don't advertise. What do you think? By covering up, is she increasing her chances of finding a decent man, or is she unwittingly making herself invisible to them? It's not about dress it's about being friendly and putting yourself out there. 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 You can't willingly participate in a scam. Sex isn't a scam.
hotpotato Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I dont think showing cleavage will help get the right man. However, I do think it helps to dress more stylish and to have accessories (jewelry, shoes, handbag) that stand out. Dressing too sexy too soon risks sending the wrong message. i say dress unique not too sexy. If she's a female someone is noticing her, I promise, but they may not be approaching her.
hotpotato Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 There's no such thing as using someone for sex. I respectfully disagree. 2
Author ReadySettyGo Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 That fear is BS. Women have no "slutty fears" with certain men. I made that same assertion to her only a few days ago! She said she has yet to encounter one of those men.
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 A relationship that doesn't exist except on the surface simply to get into someone's pants is. And you're not required to put out!
KathyM Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Men care how attractively dressed a woman is. Not necessary (or desirable) to sex up your appearance for an OLD profile. It gets the wrong kind of attention.
hotpotato Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Men don't care about accessories. Accessories are more what women do for themselves. It's about standing out from the other girls...It's worked for me. It's true that for example most straight men cant tell the difference between Melanis and Payless but they do notice someone well put together. Plus, be nice and courteous on top of that, cant go wrong! A lot of guys are scared to come up and ask for a date, but less afraid if they come over in the guise of complimenting your fashion. The shoes, nice dress, or whatever unique piece can be a big icebreaker. Ive gotten plenty of attention just from being well dressed. 1
TheGuard13 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 It's the same with guys. If you don't stand out somehow, you are unlikely to get noticed. It's about getting the initial attention. Then it becomes the woman's job to sort through the various types of attention. Showing some cleavage doesn't make you a "skank". There are tasteful ways to do it.
ltjg45 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 There's no such thing as using someone for sex. ..... I have a hard time taking you seriously anymore after reading this.
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 ..... I have a hard time taking you seriously anymore after reading this. Feeling is mutual.
ltjg45 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 And you're not required to put out! No but she will if she actually believe she will get what she is asked for. And then once she does her end, the male bails because it was all just a lie. Now what is this about "there's no such thing as using someone for sex" part? And don't give me this crap that she doesn't have to put out. Someone HAS to go first otherwise it never advances. I did the same thing. I wanted a relationship. She needed financial help and is willing to give me said relationship at first. I helped her out only for her to bail and run away so I got burned however if I didn't do anything at all, nothing would have came from it. It was a chance I took and I lost but I rather take that chance than not take any at all. 2
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