Stargazer111 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 We've probably all had someone fade out of our love life before. But do you just let the person fade away in peace? Or does the rudeness of this behavior warrant telling the fader off? If things have gone beyond a few dates or have gotten physical, but one side loses interest, I think a "sorry I'm not interested anymore" is deserved especially if the other side is actively trying to take things further. Even if it's a 5 second text, it let's the other person know what's going on instead of sitting there wondering. Ignoring until they get the hint is not only hurtful, it's just plain rude. But here's the thing. I simply can't help mouthing off when someone does it to me! Not like an angry "f*** you, you a-hole" but when it's clear they're pulling the fade out, I can't stop myself from at least a "I know what you're doing, I really would've appreciated the courtesy of a straight-up answer instead of being strung along until I get your unspoken message." What do you think? Do I need to just let it go when it happens again? Feels good to tell the person off though. 1
SadHumiliated Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 We've probably all had someone fade out of our love life before. But do you just let the person fade away in peace? Or does the rudeness of this behavior warrant telling the fader off? If things have gone beyond a few dates or have gotten physical, but one side loses interest, I think a "sorry I'm not interested anymore" is deserved especially if the other side is actively trying to take things further. Even if it's a 5 second text, it let's the other person know what's going on instead of sitting there wondering. Ignoring until they get the hint is not only hurtful, it's just plain rude. But here's the thing. I simply can't help mouthing off when someone does it to me! Not like an angry "f*** you, you a-hole" but when it's clear they're pulling the fade out, I can't stop myself from at least a "I know what you're doing, I really would've appreciated the courtesy of a straight-up answer instead of being strung along until I get your unspoken message." What do you think? Do I need to just let it go when it happens again? Feels good to tell the person off though. I'm with you in that the slow fade is one of the rudest if not the most immature ways to break-up with someone and telling them off would probably feel really good in the short run. The truth is, someone who has the guts to pull that on another human being isn't really going to care what you have to say, positive or negative anyways. They have zero respect for you to begin with. Just let it be...it's a total and complete waste of time to call them out. The thing I've noticed is people who pull that have very very deep issues that usually keep them from having a real, true fulfilling relationship with anyone to begin with. Pity them and make sure to never let them into your life again. 1
Carenth Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Nope I wouldn't send anything. I've have had this happen a few times. I just left them be and moved on with my life they aren't worth the time. I've had a few of them try to reconnect with me down the track, to which I gave them the same treatment they gave me and ignored them. 2
Author Stargazer111 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Hmm, maybe I have an issue with wanting to tell people off in general... I'm a pretty passive guy, except when I get offended. You'll know if I get offended. And I feel good about it! You know, give them an uncomfortable moment for being too cowardly to give you the respect of an uncomfortable but straight-forward talk.
strawberryjam Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 This is something I've been thinking about as well. I suspect someone is pulling a "slow fade" on me, part of how I came across this post. I agree with you that it is rude and hurtful,especially if you've been intimate.. I'm just deciding now if I want to eventually say something to them about or let it go..
tbf Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 It depends on how close you've gotten. In the first few dates, not worth the effort. But once serious emotions have entered, particularly after you've traded ILYs and sex, fading is a serious jack ass and cowardly move. If it's the latter situation, go ahead, rip them a new one if it helps get over them.
todreaminblue Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 hey star gazer what i have found is when you tell someone off, doesnt really make you feel better in the long run, doesnt change the situation or make disappointment easier to take......in my opinion if soemone fades out of your life.....they arent meant to be there anyway, they are making room for the person who is meant to come into your life....and that is....something or someoen to look forward to...best wishes..deb
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