rivera89 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I already posted the details of my breakup but if anyone wants to read it ill post the link:http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/383353-so-sad-right-now So it has been a little past 7 months since the break up. So in early April, my ex left for Mexico to escape all the stress that her work ( and me i guess) was giving her, but not before telling my mother that she was leaving. As soon as I heard this, I wanted to go see her to say goodbye, but she said it was best that we keep things the way that they are. So I texted her goodbye, and left it at that. I then went NC for about a month, and her brother texted me asking me when I was going to graduate. I'm assuming my ex wondered if I was graduating and asked him to ask me because she wouldn't know what my reaction would. He then asked me if it was okay for him to tell his sister, my ex, this news. I told him that I didn't. So the next day, I get an email from the ex congratulating me and everything, which I ignored, until she finally texted my phone again. I then gave her a simple reply thanking her. Then after a couple weeks of NC, I had a profound dream of my ex that stirred up a storm of emotions in me. I instantly remembered all the good things that we experienced and how it was because of her that I had accomplished so much. So I wrote her a long letter thanking her for everything that she had done for, and for encouraging me to finish school. I told her that I hope that she was happy and that the new guy (from the email of the conversation that she had sent me) was treating her nice, and that I didn't hold any grudges because of how I felt for her. Well she got back to me, and told me that she didn't understand what I meant when I said that I hoped she was happy with this guy. I told her about the conversation that she had sent me, and she told me didn't sent me anything and that she was sorry that I got that. Then she went on to say everything was a misunderstanding, that she wasn't in love with guy, and that they only loved each others as friends. She told me that she felt a little resentment towards me because I did not fight for the relationship hard enough. I told her that I stopped out of respect for her new relationship that I thought she was in. So then she skyped me and we had a really long conversation which led to her being rather intimate if you guys know what i mean. So we eventually agreed days later that we would take things slow, but that there wouldn't be any guarantees. What then proceeded was a month of this talking and it seemed like she was warming up to me. I even wired her and her mother a little bit of money cause I knew they were hurting a little bit. Then on the last week of June, just before she came back, she became very cold and distant with me and we didn't talk for a couple days. It wasn't until the day after she had come back that I got in contact with her. I went to her house to drop off some little gifts that I was had gotten her prior to the breakup but I noticed that she was all cold and distant. Then on the fourth of july I invited to come and eat her favorite dish that my mom would make her all the time. Two days after this she dropped the bomb that she thought it was best if we went our separate ways. She said that she felt a lot of tension between her and my parents, like she had done something wrong which I don't understand why she felt that way. My mom treated her warmly as she had always done before. After this text I asked her if I could see her in person, and that she at least owed me that. So we met up and she basically told me that she didn't feel the same towards me as before, that she couldn't see me the same when we were together. I pleaded a little for her to reconsider, but she was very stern. I asked her if it was the other guy, which she quickly reasserted that she did not like him like that. So since then I have been in no contact, but I find myself to be incredibly said. I have lost most of the hope that we will get back together, as she has not reached out in any way whatsoever. This realization has been so hard on me because I just can't comprehend how this person that loved me so much at one point could just cut me off completely. And despite everything that I have been through, I still love her with all my heart and soul. And know that she has moved on from the relationship, it has made me feel left behind. It seems like I am still clinging on to the happy fond memories that we shared, and shes light-years ahead of me. To make matters worse her birthday is coming up August 19. I have spent the last several birthdays with her and I always did something special for her and now to think that she might be doing these special things with someone else breaks my heart. This woman was so beautiful, and before her I had really no luck with women at all. I have this speech impediment that makes people think I 'half-retarded' ( I apologize for the use of this horrible world). But she accepted and loved me just the way I was. She was truly a marvelous person and beautiful inside-out and I adored her so much. I truly felt like God had blessed me by bringing this amazing special person into my life. I had never experienced this connection with anyone in my life. I don't feel, I know that I will never have someone as good as she was, and that I will have to settle with whoever I am able to get. This realization saddens me so much now, and all I want is for the pain to away. My whole life I felt alone, invisible, but all it took to make me feel like mattered was one special person. And she was that person, and I was so happy and fulfilled when we were together. Now I feel so empty and alone. God how I loved and adored this woman, and now she is gone forever
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