ForeverAlone28 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 From a doctor's point of view, they do not suggest smoking weed. It's not healthy. And he should have every right to want the person he loves to be healthy. There are risk, just like smoking, drinking, etc. Just like you wouldn't want to date a glutton or a slob or someone who over eats? The same thing goes for someone who is a glutton with other things other than food. IT'S NOT ATTRACTIVE.
iKING Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I took an Abnormal Psych class, taught by a doctor, and the first thing she said was, "Is it normal or abnormal, for a person who smokes pot every day, to have a full time job and a serious relationship?" as a series of questions of what is "abnormal" or "normal". Every lame, young, uneducated fool said "normal". Guess what the established, elder, graduated, mature adult who was in charge of grading papers said? NO. It is not normal. Or possible. From a psychiatric point of view, this is not normal. It may be the norm today, but it is not normal. From personal experience, I've known more people than I count who fit the description "A person who smokes pot every day, has a full time job and a serious relationship.". Many of whom were in their 50s and 60s. Normality is subjective, and medical practitioners opinions vary on subjects such as psychology and social norms. A lot of the older generation still has the Nixon era in the back of their minds.
ForeverAlone28 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 From personal experience, I've known more people than I count who fit the description "A person who smokes pot every day, has a full time job and a serious relationship.". Many of whom were in their 50s and 60s. Normality is subjective, and medical practitioners opinions vary on subjects such as psychology and social norms. A lot of the older generation still has the Nixon era in the back of their minds. Wow, you're really cute. It's a shame you're such an idiot. 1
man_in_the_box Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I wouldnt say duped. But she specifically stated she needs to be with someone that can handle what she does. Once we talked about it....she admitted she smokes it practically everyday, at least twice a day, sometimes three. If she only used it once in awhile....the same as someone socially drinks once in awhile....it would be different. Abuse is the problem. Not the weed, not whether its legal or not. If she was using alcohol that much I'd have the same issue. All I can say is that if it bothers you that much - move on. If you would've been in a relationship with someone who suddenly picked up one of these habits then you have the right to say something about it. But in this case you already knew from the beginning that she did pot regularly. If that's something you cannot live with that doesn't mean you need to change her into something that is compatible with you. I get that this discussion is being held because it is about drugs and it has some sort of stigma on it that people feel they have the plight to keep others away from it. If someone came on here, posts that they have met a romantic interest who had some sort of unhealthy or risky hobby, then are we actually going to be sympathetic with some claim that they should just drop whatever brightens up their day so they can accomodate to their brand new fresh date? The chance that a relationship will form is still so low that I cannot fathom going to such depths to change for something that's likely not going to be anything. Just like you wouldn't want to date a glutton or a slob or someone who over eats? The same thing goes for someone who is a glutton with other things other than food. Well then don't ****ing date slobs or gluttons. All I am saying that you have no right to break into their private lives and tell them what they can or cannot do. It is people's own responsibility to determine whether they want to continue with their unhealthy habits or if they want to change.
Robert Z Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I took an Abnormal Psych class, taught by a doctor, and the first thing she said was, "Is it normal or abnormal, for a person who smokes pot every day, to have a full time job and a serious relationship?" as a series of questions of what is "abnormal" or "normal". Every lame, young, uneducated fool said "normal". Guess what the established, elder, graduated, mature adult who was in charge of grading papers said? NO. It is not normal. Or possible. From a psychiatric point of view, this is not normal. It may be the norm today, but it is not normal. Your post is logically inconsistent. You say it's not normal or possible, but the norm. That makes no sense. I want some of what you've been smoking! 1
King_Crimson Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 (edited) It doesn't have to be heroin to be addictive. Are you a daily weed smoker? Ever been? Ever tried to quit? Ever had a family member who spends a few hundred a month on weed instead of taking his family out to dinner? Ever had a loved one who wouldn't hold you because they were afraid you would smell the smoke on their breath? Ever have a spouse who won't come to bed with you but you could smell the smoke coming up from downstairs? A husband that couldn't do any work around the house because smoking pot all weekend has fried his brain, and that one joint before mowing the lawn caused him to need a nap instead of fixing that leak? Did you ever have someone you love put their addiction before your needs? Sure, you are pretty cool with your "legalize weed" posts on facebook. But just wait until you turn 50 and that list of regrets is not only long, but you start putting that "too late to fix it" mark against so many of them. Then wonder how your addiction to pot maybe didn't really help as much as you thought when you were young and stupid. Look. This guy didn't try to change anyone. He didn't lie to her, she did to him. About her addiction. He was lied to and trickle truthed. He doesn't smoke weed and he did everything you all are telling him to do: he moved on. He just can't understand how someone chose an ugly, disgusting, hurtful habit over a healthy new love. The number ofpeople on this board saying he is somehow immature or prudish because of this is astounding. You're getting this all wrong. Instead of attacking this guy, think about what he's saying. He's not supporting addiction... he's supporting her choice of having fun and enjoying her life. You can get addicted to anything, be it food, alcohol, sex, etc. What makes weed any worse than that? Point is, addiction is a mental problem. You can't say that because one person is an addict means everyone will be. If you take away one addictive form they will latch onto another. These people need help for addiction and therapy for an obvious lack of happiness... not the eradication of something that most people can control and actually use to help maintain a healthy balanced lifestyle (as long as it's in moderation). Edited August 9, 2013 by King_Crimson
CrazyConcept Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 What's the big deal? OP didn't want a girl who smoked weed. Girl who he was dating, did in fact smoke it frequently and even made a point that he'd have to accept that if he wanted to keep dating her. He decided he doesn't want her as a partner. What's so wrong with any of that?
King_Crimson Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 What's the big deal? OP didn't want a girl who smoked weed. Girl who he was dating, did in fact smoke it frequently and even made a point that he'd have to accept that if he wanted to keep dating her. He decided he doesn't want her as a partner. What's so wrong with any of that? Because he's saying that weed broke them up when, in fact, it was their incompatibility that broke them up.
CrazyConcept Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Because he's saying that weed broke them up when, in fact, it was their incompatibility that broke them up. Where did that come from? I've reread all posts by OP in this thread and have not found "weed broke us up" or anything directly equivalent in any of his posts. I have however found to the contrary: Abuse is the problem. Not the weed, not whether its legal or not. If she was using alcohol that much I'd have the same issue.Does it even matter anyway? They wouldn't work out regardless, less time was wasted so both parties can move on to their next prospects. Pretty much as good outcome as it can be in that case.
CrazyConcept Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 He said "she chose weed over me." She was already smoking up before he came along. That would be like a dude asking me to stop liking wine. Sorry buddy ain't happening. And the problem is...? She has her stance on weed. He has his stance on weed. Their stances clearly clash. Neither party wants to change their stance (they aren't obligated to after all), so they part ways. Problem? I fail to see any.
2sunny Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 You never knew the "real her" you only knew her altered version of herself. Consider yourself lucky to get out! 1
iKING Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 It doesn't have to be heroin to be addictive. Are you a daily weed smoker? Ever been? Ever tried to quit? Ever had a family member who spends a few hundred a month on weed instead of taking his family out to dinner? Ever had a loved one who wouldn't hold you because they were afraid you would smell the smoke on their breath? Ever have a spouse who won't come to bed with you but you could smell the smoke coming up from downstairs? A husband that couldn't do any work around the house because smoking pot all weekend has fried his brain, and that one joint before mowing the lawn caused him to need a nap instead of fixing that leak? Did you ever have someone you love put their addiction before your needs? Sure, you are pretty cool with your "legalize weed" posts on facebook. But just wait until you turn 50 and that list of regrets is not only long, but you start putting that "too late to fix it" mark against so many of them. Then wonder how your addiction to pot maybe didn't really help as much as you thought when you were young and stupid. Look. This guy didn't try to change anyone. He didn't lie to her, she did to him. About her addiction. He was lied to and trickle truthed. He doesn't smoke weed and he did everything you all are telling him to do: he moved on. He just can't understand how someone chose an ugly, disgusting, hurtful habit over a healthy new love. The number ofpeople on this board saying he is somehow immature or prudish because of this is astounding. The first part of your statement is correct. People become addicted to things that make them happy quite frequently. This is what is called having an addictive personality. To answer your initial questions; Yes I have been a daily smoker, and yes I have quit. Quitting smoking weed was easier than quitting drinking soda, and 1,000x easier than quitting smoking cigarettes. One day I said "Alright, I think I've had my fill of that.", and didn't smoke again for 7 months, for absolutely no reason. In response to your "Weed inconvenienced my home life" series of (Hypothetical?) questions, weed in that scenario can be nearly anything. It sounds like you have a lazy husband who could really use an accountant. His reasoning for tip-toeing around his "wife" is based off of her prejudice toward stereotypes. The vast majority of people I've encountered in my life have put something else before me, and out of the hundreds of smokers I've met, not a single time that I know of has weed been put before me. I do not post "legalize weed" related propaganda on my Facebook. I do not feel the need to. Just as I don't typically post anything regarding politics on my Facebook, as my friend already know where I stand. I do however, have a government issued medical card. And weed is already 100% legal is two states. One of which, happens to be Washington. My list of regrets involves hurting people's feelings as a teenager, while sober. I have always taken on my dreams, and on more than one occasion, have succeeded in my goal. At age 16 I started my first company under my father's name, since I wasn't old enough to own a company, by age 18 I had a $1,000/month income from a home business, while working as a private contractor on the side, developing and designing websites, doing graphic design, being a personal tech, building custom pcs, and working part time at my father's job. Half way through my 18th year I moved out of my parents house and got my own 1 bedroom apartment supporting myself off the income I had built. All the while, I was smoking weed daily. I'm now 21, and have started my second company. It's not the biggest thing in the world, as we've just started, but I do have 6 employees to manage, and more on my to-do list than you can imagine. My passions though? As-in, what I've really wanted to always wanted to do for a job? Be a professional artist and sell prints. Or a paid violinist. I was a violinist for 6 years during my schooling, got fairly good at it. But violins and canvases rarely pay the bills. In my personal opinion, your propagandistic viewpoints on weed are outdated. There is clearly a conflict of opinions between the two parties involved, neither of which I feel is truly at fault. If they can compromise on their lifestyle conflicts, things could work. If he's too caught up in stereotyping to realize this girl may not be a horrible drug addict, he'll need to move on to someone who does not take intoxicating substances.
Robert Z Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Yeah well - that's what I said earlier. He can feel any way he wants to about it. I don't see her "choosing weed over him." Just a difference of lifestyle. The notion that someone would choose drugs over a person has a pretty negative connotation. And in particular it connotes a control issue on his part. What's more, he didn't get his way so he came here to whine about it.
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