CrystalCastles Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 There's a guy I met on OLD, he seems like everything I'm looking for. He invited me for dinner, suggested a time but didn't tell me what place. He kind of casually mentioned a street name which has restaurants on it and that was it. It didn't seem like a serious invitation to me (since restaurants in my city get very busy in the evening and usually you have to book a table). So I canceled. He was annoyed but still wants to meet up. I really am not sure if I want to go through with this because if he was serious, he would have suggested a place, asked me what food I liked and made a reservation. Any thoughts? Am I wrong?
Author CrystalCastles Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 I think a lack of communication is the problem here. Why didn't you simply say, "Sure, what place?" Was that difficult? Nope. You cancelled instead of saying three simple words. Communication is key in any relationship. Also, if he wasn't serious, he wouldn't have considered another date with you after you cancelled on him. I did say that though. This was our conversation: Him: Are you free 6pm Monday? Do you want to meet up at X street on X street? (an intersection) Me: Sure! Do you have a favourite place in mind? Him: There are a lot of options over there. Here's my number _________. That's when I canceled with an excuse. We've also been barely talking (he logs on once a day or sometimes every few days), and we've only exchanged a few messages, so I'm really thinking that meeting up so quickly was a bad idea in the first place...
Balzac Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 You have no way of knowing whether the guy was a walkin regular at a couple of restaurants or had booked tables. That's on you though.
Author CrystalCastles Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 You have no way of knowing whether the guy was a walkin regular at a couple of restaurants or had booked tables. That's on you though. Yeah only the thing is, maybe he could have told me that when I asked? Why the need to be so cryptic? And my city is so big that there aren't really "walk-in regulars". I'm talking millions of people. The restaurants, especially in the downtown location he was suggesting, get really really crowded in the evening.
Author CrystalCastles Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 I was wondering, as well, to do this. I think I'm going to send this guy a message and tell him with full honesty, online dating doesn't seem to be working for me, since I'm not comfortable meeting strangers and so quickly with so few messages exchanged. I don't know what the norm of online dating is, but I personally like to take things slow, get to know each other, before rushing into something like a meetup. And that I like him and his profile, he seems like a nice guy, and I'd like to add him on facebook and have some more conversations there, because I'll be deleting my profile. Would this be reasonable? Should I even bother? Will it scare him off?
pyramid Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I'm confused. If you didn't want to meet quickly, why did you agree to meet quickly? Honestly it doesn't sound like he's enough of a planner for you, but I think it would be fine to say hey, I got cold feet, not quite ready to meet in person yet. Can we connect on fb and get to know each other as little better? Personally, I like to meet in person pretty quickly these days. But it takes a while to get comfortable with that. It just sucks to get attached to someone's email persona and not click in person.
Author CrystalCastles Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 I'm confused. If you didn't want to meet quickly, why did you agree to meet quickly? Honestly it doesn't sound like he's enough of a planner for you, but I think it would be fine to say hey, I got cold feet, not quite ready to meet in person yet. Can we connect on fb and get to know each other as little better? Personally, I like to meet in person pretty quickly these days. But it takes a while to get comfortable with that. It just sucks to get attached to someone's email persona and not click in person. About the first part, yeah I regret that. Thinking about how I canceled makes me feel like crap, especially since I suggested in the first place. Ugh I'm such an idiot. I've never blind dated anyone, my ex bf was introduced to me by a friend, and the ex before him was a friend as well. It takes me quite a while to get comfortable with people.
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