damien93 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 AAAARGGHHHHH!!! I've re written this about 100 times because i keep making it too long. LAST TIME! How many of you still think about your first love? In any way, weather romantic, nostalgic, with anger or hatred etc. But i mean like the very first serious relationship in which you let your emotions (and mind) go completely? I'd just like to know what comes to mind, if you've ever contacted them, how that went, how you guys broke up, how the relationship was, ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SHARE feel free please!! I'm asking because I'd like to know what people think about their emotions and feelings towards that very first special person? Are they still special in any way? Do you think (if it was a recent break up) that years (not months) down the track you two will have grown up enough and matured a little more through life's experiences to understand eachother better than the first time around. Well that's my thoughts anyways what are yours!? I have my story to share but it usually gets pretty long, but if you want to hear it I'll post it 1
JDPT Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 My first love goes back over a decade ago and can you believe it took me that long to get over her? The reason why it took me so long is because I didn't care to commit to moving on. I was stuck in time, and for many years obsessed over her, always reminiscing about our "wonderful" moments, all I was doing was keeping her memory fresh in my brain. Until I finally decided to put an end to it and I can honestly say that I'm over her. I wish I would have done this year ago, I would have definitely been a much happier person. I actually bumped into her a few years ago, pure coincidence, we exchanged a few words and that was pretty much it. I surprisingly felt comfortable speaking to her after not seeing her for over ten years. It felt as if I was speaking with a stranger, no feelings for her whatsoever. So yes, she was my first love, the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but don't we all feel the exact same way about our exes? it's so funny.
LME Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 My first love and I broke up 2 months ago. I know it wasnt meant to be but it's really hard to think about my future without him because there was a point when I thought he was the one. It was both of our first serious relationships. I honestly wish we were both eachothers 2,3 or 4th etc relationships because I learned so much from it and feel like if I knew what I know now a year ago when I first met him things could have been different. But I know everything happens for a reason and I've accepted the breakup And moved on. I really just miss his friendship more than anything. But it's too soon to try and be friends He'll alway have a special place in my heart. When we broke up he told me that he'd never forget about me and that I'd find someone better than him and forget he even existed, which made me really sad because its probably true and I almost get this guilty feeling knowing ill probably forget about him one day
Author damien93 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 See i do want to move on, i don't want to continue thinking about this because i know it's not helping. But at the same time, we had such a good connection that I'm hoping one day down the track when life's taught us a whole range of new things, we can re kindle what we once had but in a new light, more mature, more experience and better preapared to handle a serious relationship, because we weren't ready to handle it as we got together quite young (dated from 17 - 20 years old) I played a big part in her life, i gave her a home when she had no where to go, i gave her companionship when she didn't have any friends, i brought her out of her very conservative and damaged mind frame of herself which she grew as a defense to her mothers abuse and criticism, i taught her how to drive, i was her first everything to do with a boyfriend, i gave her my friends and brought her into my family when she had none. So i know she will remember me, and i know we'll have a little connection for years to come. She's stayed friends with my family members and they share things over Facebook still, she did feel very much a part of my family as i felt she was a part of it. This is why i keep thinking about how our 1st loves impact our lives and if there are any similar stories or experiences people know of, or their own experience of first love and what happens later down the track with those memories and feelings etc.
LME Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I think the thing is you never know what will happen, that is why it is so important to move on. I believe that one day i will find a love that is greater than my first love. Perhaps it will make me realize that while yes my first love was a great experience, it maybe wasnt that true love that everyone desires. I see what youre sayingi though with how you learned so much and you are both going to mature as you get older etc. But you don't know what type of person you will mature into and same for her. My ex was 27 and I am 22. When we broke up he told me that i would change and mature so much over the next few years. At first this made me very angry because i thought he was belittling me and saying how because he's older he knows better/is more mature. But it makes sense to me now, i know how much I have changed since i was 18,20, etc and i know i have more changing to do and i will grow into the person i want to be.
Author damien93 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 He'll alway have a special place in my heart. When we broke up he told me that he'd never forget about me and that I'd find someone better than him and forget he even existed, which made me really sad because its probably true and I almost get this guilty feeling knowing ill probably forget about him one day I went through this too, we both told eachother we'd find someone better, we both said we'd never forget eachother but i also have this guilty feeling that i'll eventually forget about her because it's always whats currently effecting you and your life that is most important. I gave her a ring on our first six months. It wasn't a big deal to me at the time but it was to her, and eventually that ring meant to me what it meant to her, for some reason it became the symbol for our relationship. Somewhere along the lines of our breakup she returned it to me by leaving it in the mail along with a cd i made for her and the last letter i gave her. I know she did that to get a reaction because if she really didn't want it she would have thrown it away. I gave it back to her and she apologized and she said she would keep it. that was yesterday (we've been broken up for 4 months with very limited contact, both of us going back and forth between wanting to get back together but this time she has finally moved on and is happy with how her life is going now) I don't know if that's true that she really will keep it but i have this romantic fantasy that one day we'll meet again and we'll be getting along and rekindle what we had, and i'll ask her about the ring and she'll say she always kept it with her.
LME Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I honestly think those fantasies you are having are going ot hurt you in the long run. Don't get me wrong, some days i still think of the "what ifs" with my ex. Stupid things like when i just watched the Bachelorette and he got down on one knee i thought wow that could have been us one day. But then i realize that wow that isnt reality and that was never guaranteed, these are just my fantasies and hopes, fantasies that i have always had. Now i just put him in the blank because he was my first love. I think going NC will help you move on and stop holding on to hopes and dreams that were never guarenteed in the first place. I know its a scary thought and it might seem impossible but its truly for the best, at least for right now. 1
LibbyListens Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 It does not carry on. I was with my first love from 16 through my early 20s. It was a volatile relationship, ended in a flurry of emotions, and we even said we would be friends. It's been eight years and we haven't communicated. I only think of him when I see an old mutual friend of ours from high school and we reminisce about the "bad old days". I don't know what is going on in his life (have not looked him up on Facebook) and don't care. When I allow myself to look back, I see an immature, selfish girl who latched on to the first guy that pursued her with real intent. I avoided him at first, mapping out new routes in school to sneak by, but he always found me, always begged me to give him a chance. He wore on me, I allowed him into my world, and we got crazy-hot-in-love for each other. We also turned arguments into world wars, disrespected the wishes of our families to just slow it down,and dropped out of college because we preferred to spend all our time together, and who needs college anyway? My clinical depression emerged during the end of our union because I could not handle him anymore but did not know how to end it gently. I have no desire to revisit that immature relationship. I also do not hate him or love him as a person. If only my insight with this could help my current issue.
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