Naughty pictures to my boyfriend?

[star444]

Guys, how do you react when your gf sends you naughty pictures?

 

Girls, how does your bf react?

 

My boyfriend doesn't say much. He will usually say something like "I like it :)" or "That's hot :)" but I always feel really disappointed by that. I mean, I expect a bigger reaction when I'm sending a topless or nude picture. Not that I think I look 100% perfect or anything like that, but I have a nice figure and I think a lot of guys would find it attractive. So I feel like my boyfriend should feel lucky to get these pictures and should show me that he really appreciates and enjoys them.

 

Guys I've dated in the past would say "OH MY GOD you look amazing. I'm so turned on. You are gorgeous. I wish I was with you right now." stuff like that.

 

In the moment when we are hooking up, my boyfriend tells me he loves my body. I also know that he watches porn. So why doesn't he say much when I send him pictures? I feel like I am baring a lot there, and then I don't feel that I get much in return. It is almost embarrassing. Am I overreacting? Do you think he really DOES feel that way and just doesn't voice it?

 

We've talked before about my need for him to voice what he's feeling because I am very big on verbal communication and words of affection and affirmation. He knows this.

[star444]

Send here, I'll be the judge of that!

 

In all seriousness, it might just be the way he communicates. I do it to my girlfriend sometimes as well. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy them, though.

 

So what is a typical response though? And would you react that way to all girls pictures or just your gfs?

[Archanaart]

So what is a typical response though? And would you react that way to all girls pictures or just your gfs?

 

I don't think there is a typical response.

 

Everyone is different and everyone has their own individual preferences.

 

Some people are turned on by naughty pictures and some are not.

 

And I don't think you can compare reactions from other girls and your gf. Everyone looks different and has features that are more appealing.

Edited August 6, 2013 by Archanaart

[star444]

I don't think there is a typical response.

 

Everyone is different and everyone has their own individual preferences.

 

Some people are turned on by naughty pictures and some are not.

 

And I don't think you can compare reactions from other girls and your gf. Everyone looks different and has features that are more appealing.

 

I guess that's true. A part of me feels like I don't know if I want to date someone who isn't going to respond much though. Sexuality is important to me.

[Archanaart]

I feel like I am baring a lot there, and then I don't feel that I get much in return. It is almost embarrassing. Am I overreacting? Do you think he really DOES feel that way and just doesn't voice it?

 

We've talked before about my need for him to voice what he's feeling because I am very big on verbal communication and words of affection and affirmation. He knows this.

 

If that's the way you feel then DON'T SEND THEM! Save that kinda stuff for when you see him in person.

 

If he's not communicating with you then speak with him again and tell him how you feel with his lack of reaction to your pictures. Ask him what he would find appealing if you insist on sending them. and he if he is still not communicating and giving you what you need then move on.

[Phoe]

yeah, some guys just communicate that way.

 

I had an ex who would complain about the photos. "too blurry" "too dark" "why is your bra still on?" "how about one where you're NOT fully nude?"

 

 

he stopped getting photos altogether. made me feel very unattractive

[star444]

yeah, some guys just communicate that way.

 

I had an ex who would complain about the photos. "too blurry" "too dark" "why is your bra still on?" "how about one where you're NOT fully nude?"

 

 

he stopped getting photos altogether. made me feel very unattractive

 

Did you break up with him for it?

[Phoe]

Did you break up with him for it?

 

no, i broke up with him because he was seeing another girl.

 

 

He's now engaged to her.

[soccerrprp]

One guy (bless him) said and I quote 'Why would I want to see a bunch of pics when I can have the real deal and if I can't, why torture me then?'

 

This is my thinking too! AND I like pics of my gf in R-rated, not X.

[New User]

It's highly situational- not just from person to person, but depending on the situation that the person is in when they receive them. I was deployed when I received the pics that had the greatest positive impact on me. My ex-wife sent some fairly regularly and they helped keep my..... er...... morale up. Back home, when I would get some while I was at work they were still appreciated, but didn't have the same visceral impact. To be honest I may have been lax in expressing my appreciation.

[It's Just Me]

Stop sending anything, and he will appreciate the real thing. If you don't feel loved and appreciated, that's a whole other story.

[MrCastle]

I think maybe (happens to me sometimes too) he is subdued because he doesn't want to come across as being only interested in your body.

 

I know when girls send me stuff I'm complimentary, but not overly so, because I don't want her to think I just see her as a pair of tits and ass.

 

I am extremely sexual, to a fault -- in text and in person, but when it comes to pics, I try to be reserved and cool about it.

 

Not to mention I'm a photographer first and foremost so if I get a picture I can't help but think her lighting was off, her framing was off, the angle of her pose sucked, etc.

 

I'm a stickler when it comes to pictures.

[Keenly]

I don't think its ever fair to expect any one kind of reaction, to anything. You were basically already placing expectations on his response before you ever even sent him anything, and that sounds exhausting.

 

And then it upset you when you didn't get the reaction you placed on him to make.

[Miss_raptor]

It depends how my boyfriend reacts. If we haven't seen each other for a while, he really likes them. Sometimes he's out with people and I send them, so he doesn't really respond or he's in the middle of something else and takes a while to respond. Usually, it's positive though.

 

One of the hardest things I've learned with dating is that when texting, don't expect instant gratification or validation. Timing, tone, context are all things you can read too much into. If he's into you (and vocal about it) when in person, he's into you.

[coltsfan1]

I love erotic texts from my lady, but not every day. When we do it the many goal has been to raise excitement for later in the evening for when we see each other in person. The pics generally aren't to graphic, ie in her panties, or naked with a dress shirt of mine on but unbuttoned, more playboy than penthouse. If a fella doesn't say stop then he enjoys it.

[LastLight]

My girl used to send me pics like that and I would REALLY let her know how good she looked. Even if it's not the best picture, I would be grateful knowing she took the time to send them and I'd reply with a very similar message.

[Phoe]

I don't think its ever fair to expect any one kind of reaction, to anything. You were basically already placing expectations on his response before you ever even sent him anything, and that sounds exhausting.

 

And then it upset you when you didn't get the reaction you placed on him to make.

 

When the guy ASKS for them, then complains about them, being irritated is totally reasonable.

[MrCastle]

I love erotic texts from my lady, but not every day. When we do it the many goal has been to raise excitement for later in the evening for when we see each other in person. The pics generally aren't to graphic, ie in her panties, or naked with a dress shirt of mine on but unbuttoned, more playboy than penthouse. If a fella doesn't say stop then he enjoys it.

 

I prefer them to be Hustler if I had my pick

[Keenly]

When the guy ASKS for them, then complains about them, being irritated is totally reasonable.

 

Did I the part where he asked for them?

 

 

OP, are you sending them for his enjoyment, or are you just fishing for compliments and affirmation?

[Chief Wiggum]

Maybe he's the type of person who doesn't quite have the mettle for talking sexy/dirty in response to your saucy pics. That doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy them. He most likely does.

 

As for how I respond, yeah, I always try to make the effort return a good message. She's made the effort to send something like that -- which suggests she's in a fun mood -- and so I make sure I give her some descriptive texts back, telling he what I want to do with her.

 

But again, that's because I'm pretty good with sexting.

[fiftyofsomethin]

Let's back up here.

 

 

Howabout we actually look at the root of the problem?

 

You seem to only be satisfied when you receive verification or appreciation from someone else, in this case, your boyfriend.

 

You shouldn't need to receive a text like "OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO HOT, **** ME NOW!" to feel good about yourself. You should be confident enough to know that this is his deal, not neccessarily a problem, that is with himself. Especially if your past boyfriends reacted differently.

 

I wouldn't worry about it much at all. Right now you are experiencing the feelings of a hurt ego. And as they say "The heart wants the most what it can't have" and since you can't have his enthusiastic responses, you want it more and more. And the only way you are going to be able to get past this is either by:

A) Relying less on verifications for your actions to be happy.

B) Doing exactly what he is doing to you, to him.

 

However, tread lightly with option B. Although it may be effective for a time, you are still essentially following the "eye for an eye" policy.

 

 

We wouldn't want the whole world to be blind, now would we?

 

Good luck! Stay Confident! Stay Awesome!

[ascendotum]

yeah, some guys just communicate that way.

 

I had an ex who would complain about the photos. "too blurry" "too dark" "why is your bra still on?" "how about one where you're NOT fully nude?"

 

 

he stopped getting photos altogether. made me feel very unattractive

 

I can totally understand why you are disappointed that his (maybe not all of them) comments are critical and why you dropped the habit, but not that you should interpret it as being unattractive. Here is a guy that wants to see pics of you but not just nudies (I thought a lot of women would see this as a positive, as he sees you as more than a sex object). Also the fact that the pics are dark and or blurry means he can't appreciate your body as much as if they weren't.

[Geiss]

I just want to point out that sending nude pictures of yourself unless you don't care about them being sent all across cyberspace where your friends and family can see them, you're taking your chances. And everyone else.

[AlwysHppy]

...I hate to say it, but it may be BECAUSE you are texting him sexy pics that you're getting a lukewarm response. You're basically telling him: "heh, here I am, just so hot and sexy looking and acting as if I can trust you with the most intimate parts of me in living cover, without any concern that they'll be misused or leaked later on, even though we're not even married yet" and he may perceive you as having less respect for your privacy, so less self-respect, and he may view it as "cheap behavior" (even if he asked for the pictures, men always want to view the love of their life as mysterious, and willing to say "no" to men), and view you less favorably.

 

Personally, I would never put myself in such a compromising position, nor would I send such pics with the expectation of great praise (that's fishing for compliments, and seems sad to me), or even *permit* any man to be in a position to take such liberties as to judge my most private parts in any way at all. If he just wants sex, maybe he'll like it or tolerate it. If he's really in love, this is not what he wants to see virtually shoved in his face. Just my opinion.

[veggirl]

How often do you send them? Lots of guys have phones full of nudey pics cause girls send them to like everyone they date for 2 mins. Maybe he's turned off cause he knows he's one of many who have seen them and its just not special for him?