neemus Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 (edited) Hey everyone, this is a fairly complicated and long story but I'll try my best to keep it short. Background: - Grew up in the same neighbourhood together since we were 12. - We are both 23 years old now. - Our brothers were best friends for a couple years. - We both moved a couple years ago, and by chance it happened to be on the same street. - We both grew up in single mom households. - Her father has not been present in her life since she was a child, he was an abusive alcoholic. - Her father died from alcohol poising about 2 years ago. *SAME TIME I STARTED TALKING TO HER - She frequents the party scene, particularly with rich kids who drink excessively and use cocaine. (very pretentious, vain, and materialistic people) So now that you have a little bit of a background hopefully you can better understand where she's coming from. Our interaction over the past 2 years has been mostly texts, some of it formal, emotional, and even discussing our interest in being with each other. After a bunch flirting, and game playing we eventually met in March of 2012. She walked over to my condo we spent a couple hours chatting and had a great time, I felt a lot of chemistry to the point where it actually freaked me out. After asking her on a second date a couple days later she said she was talking to someone she used to see and didn't want to lead me on. For the next 4-5 months I cut all contact, as far as I knew she never actually had a boyfriend during that time. I heard from a few people that hang out in her social circle that she was messing with 2-3 guys but that she wasn't doing anything but hooking up. One day she texted me, asked me how I was, etc. I took this as a sign and started flirting again and eventually asked her out; this time she disappeared completely- didn't even respond. I texted around christmas time and once again said we should get together, she said she's heading to spain for 6 months in february and we should meet sometime before. She ended up going to spain without ever initiating contact again. I figured she didn't care and was just toying with me so I deleted her number and off Facebook. A couple of months later I get a message from her asking how I am and why I deleted her. I told her how I felt and she told me she never knew she meant that much to me and that she wanted to see and start something but that it would've been pointless since she was leaving. We continued talking for a couple weeks until she started to open up to emotionally - specifically about how she missed her mom a lot. I told her that I saw her mom and brother a few days back and wanted to know how they were doing. After that message she went MIA and I haven't received a single text since. Her birthday was a couple days ago, I sent her a simple message wishing her the best and that I hope she's doing well. She responded and thanked me and hoped I was doing well too. SO, this is my question. Is she so terrified of starting something with me that she's avoiding me whenever I get too close to her emotionally or is she using me as a ego boost whenever she sees fit? Thanks! Any advice would be appreciated...I've been struggling with this for quite some time and I don't want to give up on her. Edited August 5, 2013 by neemus
New User Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I don't know that the two choices that you gave are the only possibilities, but it certainly seems that she just isn't that into you. Add to that what- at least on the surface- appears to have been a tumultuous life up to this point and I think that you're better chasing after someone else.
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