kyle77 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 So my ex and I broke up a while ago almost two years. And I am over her to an extent. When I think about getting back together, I realize it would be a mistake and I don't want to get back together with her. It would be like a step backwards in my life. Yet I am still very sexually attracted to her. So much so that most other girls just aren't attractive to me. Is this something I will get over or is this just life now? I have been feeling this way now for almost a year. Over her but at the same time really attracted to her....I don't know what to do. Is there anything I can do to really get out of the funk?
JDPT Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I was in a very similar situation as you are. I used to obsess over my ex having sex with someone else. I used to picture her doing the exact same things she did with me in intimacy with another guy and it hurt me to the core. I used to worry about that all the time until I realize that what she does in her personal time is her business and not for me to worry about. I now don't think about if she has or is sleeping with anyone else. It only hinders my recovery process and I learned to let those thoughts go. So to answer your question yes in time it will certainly get easy, however, you need to do the grunt work in order to gain positive results. Reroute your thoughts when you think of her, ground yourself and just tell yourself that what she does is completely irrelevant to you. Focus on the many things you can do to embark on your recovery process.
Author kyle77 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 I'm not so worried about what she is doing though. She has a boyfriend and i'm sure she is having sex with him. That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that I am still attracted to her. I honestly don't want her to be with me because I know it wouldn't be right for me. But at the same time I fear that because of this attraction I still have for her I somehow subconsciously want to be with her. Even though I know it would do me more harm than good. Is there any way for me to no longer be attracted to her, or at least not be as attracted to her as I am now?
JDPT Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 It's obsessive thinking, we all like to think our exes where perfection in every sense of the word, but truth is they are far from it. You need to reroute your thoughts when you think of her, you shouldn't feel attracted to her if you no longer interact with her in any way, unless you are looking at pictures of her or still see her. It's been roughly three months for me and if I hypothetically speaking bump into my ex I honestly wouldn't feel sexually attracted as I used to be in the past, why? the pain she has caused me is greater than me being attracted to her in any way. You need to start training your brain to stop thinking about her.
Author kyle77 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 How do I start to train my brain to not think of her in that way?
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