Jenny1234 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I'm the dumpee ...I'm trying to move forward in my life and making positive changes and just pushing forward all the time and living for me. I'm dating and ultimately know I want to meet the right person and settle down and get married sooner than later. The dumper is partying and getting drunk all the time. He is moving from his own place is a nice part of town to a a college environment type part of town with a random roommate from Craigslist. And was even drunk last night and ended up 25 miles in the wrong direction and had to walk to a police station to find a cab home. It was Sunday night and has a real 9-5 job. We are 32 so in my eyes this behavior is not acceptable. The breakup was 3 months ago and I have yet to hear any remorse from him. I guess he was serious about wanting to get drunk more and have fun with his friends which are all married! This loser behavior should make me feel better but just isn't! Hello you're a loser!
may_girl Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 It is so important you don't focus on these little details, for your own recovery. I can see you have, in a lot of depth, observed his behaviors from last night when he has made no efforts to observe yours. Keep focusing on how much your life is better without him, and how he doesn't deserve you. Don't focus on his poor behaviors anymore. It is time for you to move on
Keenly Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I'm the dumpee ...I'm trying to move forward in my life and making positive changes and just pushing forward all the time and living for me. I'm dating and ultimately know I want to meet the right person and settle down and get married sooner than later. The dumper is partying and getting drunk all the time. He is moving from his own place is a nice part of town to a a college environment type part of town with a random roommate from Craigslist. And was even drunk last night and ended up 25 miles in the wrong direction and had to walk to a police station to find a cab home. It was Sunday night and has a real 9-5 job. We are 32 so in my eyes this behavior is not acceptable. The breakup was 3 months ago and I have yet to hear any remorse from him. I guess he was serious about wanting to get drunk more and have fun with his friends which are all married! This loser behavior should make me feel better but just isn't! Hello you're a loser! You have made it pretty clear you are not moving forward. You are still stewing in anger, stead fast in place.
JDPT Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I quiet honestly believe that you shouldn't focus so much on what he is up to. His partying and drinking may be ways he implements to cope with the situation at hand, however, if you ask me those are terrible way to cope with a break up. Reroute your thoughts towards your recovery and the many great things you have going for yourself. You are single now to do as you please and make healthier and wise decisions for yourself and hope for a better tomorrow, learning from and leaving the past where it belongs. Look ahead don't look back. 1
oberon84 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 No need to bite the OP's head off. Loveshack is meant to be a supportive place for people to give and seek advice and at times just vent. It's clear that Jenny has been hurt by her exs actions. Maybe they've been out of character and she is just doing her best with the situation she is in. I guess he was serious about wanting to get drunk more and have fun with his friends which are all married! He valued getting drunk with his friends more than being in a relationship with her. She has every right to feel the way she does. 2
Minneloa Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Sorry you are hurting, OP. Are you currently in contact with your ex? If not, where did you learn about his activities? You might find that the pain of cutting him (and sources of info about him) out of your life pales in comparison to the pain of continually having reminders of and updates about him. I am currently two months NC and still wobbly some days, but I am grateful to know nothing about my ex's current life. In this case, for me, ignorance is (mostly!) bliss. It allows me to focus more on my own process and moving forward rather than mulling over what he is doing. Sending good thoughts, M.
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 Sorry you are hurting, OP. Are you currently in contact with your ex? If not, where did you learn about his activities? You might find that the pain of cutting him (and sources of info about him) out of your life pales in comparison to the pain of continually having reminders of and updates about him. I am currently two months NC and still wobbly some days, but I am grateful to know nothing about my ex's current life. In this case, for me, ignorance is (mostly!) bliss. It allows me to focus more on my own process and moving forward rather than mulling over what he is doing. Sending good thoughts, M. Thank you. Some days are just harder than others. I think hearing he is moving to a new apartment and moving on with his life is just hard for me. It makes it more and more real which I am doing my best to accept. We text randomly on a weekly basis .. That's how I found out and I've been seeing stuff on FB. Even though I lead on that I can be buddy buddy with him on text, I guess I really can't handle it still on my end. Time to stop all contact again.
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Ok the "loser" comment was maybe a little harsh and I really didn't mean it that way. He's just regressing in his life... That's all I meant. I feel like he's taking 5 steps backwards and it hurts me because we were about to take steps forward in our life together.
Sneaky Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Ok the "loser" comment was maybe a little harsh and I really didn't mean it that way. He's just regressing in his life... That's all I meant. I feel like he's taking 5 steps backwards and it hurts me because we were about to take steps forward in our life together. I hope you did not misunderstand my comment; it was aimed at Leigh for going postal. You can call your ex anything as long as it helps, in my opinion.
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Thank you. I was confused. He's certainly not reading any of my post so I'll call him anything I want! Lol
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