Jump to content

Engaged for 8 years? Did you set a date and start planning a wedding on your own?

malibuanpine

By malibuanpine
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

malibuanpine New Member

malibuanpine

Posted
Posted

Are there any persons here who have been engaged for a long time like say 8 years and you've been with your partner a total of 15 years. What did you do to get married? What should you do if he is dragging his feet but fails to set a wedding date? Did you go ahead and set the wedding date and begin planning and did you end up getting married after all? Did you book a venue and notify him of the date, and start booking vendors etcetera?

 

All general thoughts on this are welcomed.

mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted

I assume he doesn't want to marry me and dump him.

 

8 years is WAAAAAAY To long.

  • Like 3
Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

Posted
Posted

Can't disagree there. If you want to get married you are married by then. Is he opposed to marriage?

 

My fiancee's aunt waited like 20 years with her now husband and had to provide powerpoint slides saying what the tax/insurance benefits and such would be before he would finally set a date and marry her.

  • Author
malibuanpine New Member

malibuanpine

Posted
  • Author
Posted

He is opposed to marriage but I feel he is just comfortable in the relationship and needs a push. I want to hear stories about how people have been successful in pushing and they ended up getting married when they took matters into their own hands.

pink_sugar Established Member

pink_sugar

Posted
Posted

My mom also married after 18 years, but there was never an engagement. She did push for awhile though. They eventually just eloped. You should do the same if you want to get married at this point. 8 years is not an engagement. What was the agreement in all of this? "Let's get married someday" isn't an engagement. An engagement is usually when you have a date set and planning in the works.

  • Like 2
prettygirl88 Member

prettygirl88

Posted
Posted

In my personal opinion, you shouldn't have a to push a man to do anything for you or with you. He should want to do it on his own. I know someone who wrote a letter to her boyfriend explaining why they should get married (after like 10 years). Eventually they got married, but I know he didn't really want to.

 

I guarantee you their relationship is no better now than it was before marriage. I know it seems like a wedding ring and even a child will solve everything, but it will only complicate things more if you're not on the same page. Marriage is not a game or fairytale; it's a partnership. How can you have a successful partnership with someone who doesn't agree with you on big decisions? And if you can't willingly agree on big decisions, even small issues can and will turn into big arguments.

  • Like 2
amazingdrummer Established Member

amazingdrummer

Posted
Posted

sounds just like a movie "he's not that into you"

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted (edited)

I wouldn't be engaged for 8 years.

 

If I'm engaged, it means we've been together for a while, and have discussed marriage thoroughly and have both said yes...and now the engagement and ring are a formality. That means, we made it official and are announcing through our engagement that a marriage/wedding will take place in the next year or two at most.

 

I therefore wouldn't just randomly accept a ring with no date in sight and have it drag on for years. As I wouldn't get engaged unless we were certain and talked about the trajectory beforehand. I don't believe in the whole surprise engagement thing...the day you give me a ring and formally propose can be a surprise...but it's a big life decision we would have previously discussed A LOT so by the time the engagement comes around, it's just a formality and we'd immediately get to planning.

Edited by MissBee
  • Like 1
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted
Can't disagree there. If you want to get married you are married by then. Is he opposed to marriage?

My fiancee's aunt waited like 20 years with her now husband and had to provide powerpoint slides saying what the tax/insurance benefits and such would be before he would finally set a date and marry her.

 

Umm wow...just wow :confused:

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted

My fiancee's aunt waited like 20 years with her now husband and had to provide powerpoint slides saying what the tax/insurance benefits and such would be before he would finally set a date and marry her.

 

If the tax laws change so they are less favorable to married couples, I suppose he will divorce her.

sillyanswer Established Member

sillyanswer

Posted
Posted

I don't understand people who think that being engaged is an enduring relationship state. I see it as something necessarily transitory.

 

8 years? wtf?! :eek:

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...