Brokenheart25 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Hey just need some advice, My ex girlfriend broke up with me just over a month ago. The following two weeks I tried my best to get her back. Wrote her a poem, and even a song, but at no success. I have now gone into the no contact strategy for nearly 3 weeks now. She has not contacted me since. We were a couple for nearly 9 months, and we both loved each other. At the start our relationship was really strong, until she accidentally bumped into her previous ex. Since that day she has not been the same person. She was very depressed and not as affectionate and caring towards me as she once was. I thought it was just a phase she was going through so I waited and waited, months went by and nothing changed. I always questioned her if this was due to her ex. She denied. I asked her would you ever go back to him, she said no, they had fights all the time. So the night before she broke up with me, I misunderstood a text she wrote and we started fighting. The following day she broke up with me. I met up with her a few days later, where she said, she does not love me anymore, and does not want to be with me. She said she loved her previous ex more than anything, and that she cant be with me anymore. I tried for the next two weeks to see if she would change her mind. But she didn't. So now I am in no contact. Her previous ex was not over her either. So I now believe she most likely has gone back to her previous ex, since he was the one she loved the most. My question: Is there any point in using the no contact method to see if she ever comes back to me? I am using it for two purposes. A: To get over her. B: To make her miss me and contact me. Since the break up I have been very depressed and sad. She was my everything. I loved her with all my heart. But I just dont think she will ever come back, as she loved her previous ex the most. Any advice?
Philosoraptor Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Drop point B. NC is not a strategy to get someone back or make them contact, and should only be used to heal and move on. She has clearly stated she is not over her ex. My advice would be stay NC, don't worry about her contacting you, take care of yourself, and work on moving on. 1
autrives Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 What would you do to get an ex back then? It seems like NC at least makes sense to get yourself together before trying?
Philosoraptor Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 What would you do to get an ex back then? Nothing. Understand that no matter what you do, it will always be their decision. If they someone wants to be with you, they will make an effort to be. If someone doesn't want to be with you, nothing in the world can change that fact. You did so much to get her back, no results. You've been NC, no results. What does that tell you?
Chi townD Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 If you go NC you'll probably achieve both A and B. Plan A is your best outcome and plan B, well, she may miss you and she may contact you. But, it doesn't mean they want to come back to you! Look, she did you wrong and she knows it. She knows that she literally informed you that she was stringing you along. That you discovered you were always second best in her eyes. And she also informed you that she doesn't love you. That's a really hurtful thing to say. And sooner or later, she's going to contact you (because you haven't contacted her) and she's going to want to see where your head is at. She's going to want to know if you hate her for what she did. Nothing more than that. One thing about most women is they can't stand the fact that someone on this planet doesn't like them or not think of them as a good person. Drives them nuts. That's why they always try to friend zone us. Your best bet is to work your plan A. Forget about her and move on. Don't get hung up on a girl that thinks your second best. 1
Author Brokenheart25 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Thank you for all the advice. I am using no contact to get over her, and so far it has been hard but I am getting better. However deep down I do wish my ex contacts me again and gives me another chance. Its been almost 3 weeks now, and the time apart has allowed me to reflect on how she treated me. Looking back, only the first few months were great, where we both loved each other passionately. But then all changed once she saw her ex again. Since then I have been treated like a non boyfriend even though she said she loved me. I know that she probably will never want to be with me again, but a part of wishes she does. When she did treat me right, it was all passionate, and I thought she was the one for me. But things change. I am just hoping that if she does not go back to her previous ex, then the time apart I'm hoping allows her to get over him and then realize how good I was to her. But if she does go back to her previous ex, then I wish her all the best, as he was the one who she loved the most. I love her enough to let her go and be happy with the one she loved the most. Yes what she did to me was wrong, and cold. My last text to her I wrote her a nice goodbye message, and her reply was just cold. She did not thank me, just told me to move on. So If she does contact me again, I hope she apologizes for how easily she pushed me aside, like the last 9 months did not mean anything to her. I did everything for her. Took her to places she wanted to go. Took her everywhere.
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