winstonsdreams Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I posted about a situation regarding a girl i have been interested in for a while and she seems to be really doing a number on my head. The long long story cut short is we saw each other casually for a few weeks, things got messy one night and we stopped seeing each other, she said she wasnt interested in anything serious at the time, but after we ceased contact she started messaging me again and contacting me which is really confusing me. Fast forward to the past weekend and we see each other at this party, i KNOW she is going to be there and she told me she has a surprise for me, which turns out to be a novelty pair of socks. We have a few and end up talking about the situation. i finally just tell her i like her, and you dont have to be a genius to work it out, and i cant be F***ED playing games any more because i am 30 and i just dont see the point! We hook up and share a bed and cuddle and all that, the next day i drop her home and ask her what's up but she can't give me an answer, she just can't. Then she messages me asking me if i am ok and says she is so sorry, she feels drawn to me for some reason but feels she is being held back and doesn't know how to act. So i tell her i know it's hard but she should just listen to her heart, and that we have amazing chemistry. I really don't know what to do, i think i have encountered every situation possible but don't know what i should do, it's pretty wack to be honest. I gave her the option weeks ago of not being in my life, and she initiated contact again. She is actually a really cool chick and i really like her but this is confusing me so much!
New User Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 It sounds like you're on the friend ladder. Near the top, but still just the friend ladder. I'd draw a line in the sand- you like her romantically, you don't want to be "just friends" so she needs to decide if she wants to pursue a possible relationship with you or get out of your life. Then reiterate that if she calls you wanting to get together. There is absolutely nothing wrong with ending a relationship that doesn't appear to be going in the direction you want it to. 1
Author winstonsdreams Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 you are right the saga continued again last night, she messaged me, we spoke back and forth for a bit then i was going to ask her out this weekend but she already had plans the day i wanted to do something. I told her to forget it and she apologised but it seems like i am always setting myself up for failure when i sum up the courage to ask her out. I am NOT being friendzoned with her because that is bull**** if i can't get what i want out of this there is no point.
RogerWallace111 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 She's definitely trying to friendzone you. Revenge is a dish best served cold my friend. Ignore her ass and start dating other people. Show no interest in her. In fact, move on. It'll be better for you and your mental health. You deserve much better amigo. Vengeful motivation aside, I agree with this advice/plan of action.
violetsareviolet Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 equivalent to sprinkling salt on an open wound, but I would cut contact with her as the situation just doesn't seem to be organic enough. her attention to you seems to be only saccharin...she gets the validation she needs from you while remaining aloof of a deeper relationship with you you will just 'know' when someone likes you back...real friends wouldn't treat each other like that.
Author winstonsdreams Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Thank you so much everyone I really needed to hear this advice, it all just seems like it's too hard and it's starting to take it's toll on my confidence and general well being. It shouldn't be this much work, so i will move on, thanks again everyone. 1
sdraw108 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 As I read your post, I was thinking to myself, "she sounds really young and immature", so I had a dig around your older posts and sure enough: she is 22 and acts like a child I think you should forget about her and find someone who is more on your level emotionally and in terms of maturity.
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