Pathetic

[pasteurization]

After a long period of turmoil, my relationship finally ended permanently and with no possibilities of reconciliation this morning. I am a man, in my 40's and not generally given to emotional displays, but I have been unable to stop crying for hours.

 

Does anyone have any advice on this? Anything that helped stop the crying fits. Any way to soothe? I'm very desperate right now.

 

P

[Minneloa]

I am so sorry that you are hurting. You are *not* pathetic; you are human and you have sustained a painful loss. Please know you are not alone and that this is a good place to come vent and seek support.

 

Sending good thoughts.

 

M.

[JDPT]

Cry it out and if you want cry some more after that, get it all out, it's good for you. You will eventually stop crying, at that point analyze what occures and start your healing process. You are all that matters now, you will have your ups and downs and that's perfectly fine, learn new coping skills and know that in time things will get just a bit better day by day.

[juliaY]

I don't know what time it is/was when you felt that way, but I always find it's best to go to sleep and sleep it off.

 

Tomorrow is another day.

 

You're not pathetic at all. The fact that you feel such emotion speaks to the your emotional depth, humanity, and your capacity to love. Those are all great things but you are paying the price for them now.

 

I think crying helps you empty out the emotion, so that you will heal that much faster. I'm new to this site so I don't know your story, but you say there was a long period of turmoil. I imagine then the stress and uncertainty has been building up for a long time.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

Hugs...

[pasteurization]

Thank you everyone for the words of support. It has diminished somewhat today, and hopefully there's nowhere to go but up from here.

 

What makes it the worst is that the end of the relationship was my fault, and I am powerless to take back the things I'd said. There's no one to blame but myself.

 

Comfort is a hard thing to find in that situation.

[JDPT]

Don't dwell on whose fault it was, what's done is done, simply learn from it. I too used to dwell on all the things I did wrong in the relationship and used to blame myself for the relationship ending, but you know what? it takes TWO to make a relationship work or to destroy it. Take your 50% share in this and run with it. Find peace and forgiveness, forgive her for all the pain she has caused and forgive yourself as well, start letting go off all past emotions, reroute your thoughts when you think of her. Take it a day at a time, things will gradually start getting better for you.

[lovesucks76]

I just broke up with someone this past Saturday because they're unable to show affection and love. Those people are pathetic. You're not. Whatever you said was because you were hurt and not who you're truly are. Forgive yourself and move on.