LilGirlandOW Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 As much as I try to be a good OW and stay put in my compartment. Today I went to the local look-out spot alone, had a joint (from a small stash I keep around for special occasions or hard times, anyways...) and gazed into the sky/fields. So I'm sitting there little stoned, and all these feelings, thoughts and emotions surface. Feelings; Hungry for a loaf of bread.. these crumbs are killing me, confusion as to if I want MM full time to deal with myself, sad to be at that look-out alone and not with a SO... even sorry for BS () Thoughts; of "ok this is great while it lasts" but now what? of why there has been a recent spike in his wanting to see me and vocalization of his feelings and love? Emotions; disgust, love, fear, love, resent, love, defeat... _^_^_^_^_ I'm starting a big move in my career.. maybe this has me over analyzing.. MM and BS have a week home alone:sick:, and I wont be in town , maybe that has my head spinning.... Oh the joys:o
Crazy_Love Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I completely understand. I've felt all that too. Hugs
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 Angry and embarased about feelings, thoughts and emotions I was experiencing.
Lillyfree Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Angry and embarased about feelings, thoughts and emotions I was experiencing. because they don't make you a good OW or is it more that you don't want to feel that way? i'm not sure i quite follow.
LimeBlue Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Is he, or the emotions you are feeling, affecting your new career decisions in any way?
Goodbye Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 You answered your own question. The recent spike is over your big career move. It is making him insecure. He wants to hold you down not watch his little girl grow up and flourish. He's married but is afraid he will lose you with the career change. Make a break now. It's perfect. New job new man = happiness. Not sure this is what she was thinking about, but you raise an excellent point. Does the "child dynamic" of your relationship keep you in a dependent role? Maybe you are experiencing NEEDED anger over this.
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 Not sure this is what she was thinking about, but you raise an excellent point. Does the "child dynamic" of your relationship keep you in a dependent role? Maybe you are experiencing NEEDED anger over this. Yes.. I'm not sure what I was thinking either. Just random passing thoughts:(
Goodbye Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Yes.. I'm not sure what I was thinking either. Just random passing thoughts:( What do you think would become of the relationship if you acted as a career minded woman who is less dependent? 1
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