Babolat Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Honey, you can just show up. . Take a salsa class. Go to a nightclub where they have salsa and tango nights. Join a meetup where they have bowling nights, singles parties,volunteering, hiking, dinners, and even skydiving events. Joina seminar or a book club. You don't need to wait for an invitation. People are scared of showing alone, but we have to take initiative. If we are waiting for someone to come along with us, we might be waiting a long time. There's so many opportunities out there Exactly, put yourself out there. I use to be afraid to do things alone...it's still a little uncomfortable but I am doing it more and more. Also, friends of friends are the best. It's how I met the girl I am hanging out with a lot now who has turned into one of my best friends. She has a lot of single female friends; none are my type, though I mingle with them to as they may have friends! I am somewhat of an introvert myself, though everyone acts surprised when I tell them that as I am very social in a comfortable setting. Take somes risks, get out, try some new things.
New User Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I think that a lot of people have unrealistic expectations with OLD. It seems that a large portion of women have a longer list of things that they don't want than what they are actually looking for, and a lot of them sound either really high maintenance or really defensive. All of whom are looking for exceptional. The problem is that exceptional simply doesn't live there. Exceptional doesn't have to do online dating. I also really wish there was some way to verify that the pictures are how the person currently looks. I went on one date and the gal looked at least ten years older and 70-80 lbs heavier than on her profile. Why on earth she expected me to stay for a date that was initiated under a blatant lie I'll never understand. OLD can be fun- and just the banter back and forth is enjoyable and kind of helps you keep your conversational skills somewhat sharp, but the vast majority of women I've met on there have had something seriously wrong with them. I realize that this may be largely due to the age group I'm dating in and the baggage that most of us bring to the table at this point in our lives.
Babolat Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 May I add that bars aren't always sleazy. It's sleazy if you can't behave yourself. I've had decent dates from bars before. I usually just order a drink and read a book on my iPhone. The guy knows I'm not there to get laid, so he will act accordingly. He asked me out to dinner. Was very gentleman like, but we weren't a good fit. He turned out to be a 24 year old that was still trying to figure his life out. +1, see this as another way to get out and meet people. To my earlier comment, pay attention and gauge. Not everyone at a bar is there to hook up. I met some buddies at a restaurant/bar Friday night. At 11PM I went home as it was turning into a "chase women" night. I met a few people prior and had fun though.
Babolat Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I think that a lot of people have unrealistic expectations with OLD. It seems that a large portion of women have a longer list of things that they don't want than what they are actually looking for, and a lot of them sound either really high maintenance or really defensive. All of whom are looking for exceptional. The problem is that exceptional simply doesn't live there. Exceptional doesn't have to do online dating. I also really wish there was some way to verify that the pictures are how the person currently looks. I went on one date and the gal looked at least ten years older and 70-80 lbs heavier than on her profile. Why on earth she expected me to stay for a date that was initiated under a blatant lie I'll never understand. OLD can be fun- and just the banter back and forth is enjoyable and kind of helps you keep your conversational skills somewhat sharp, but the vast majority of women I've met on there have had something seriously wrong with them. I realize that this may be largely due to the age group I'm dating in and the baggage that most of us bring to the table at this point in our lives. I got around this 2 years ago when I was on match by asking them to send me a current pic. If they won't...make your decision. Remember, people are "selling" themselves on OLD. I am pretty good now at filtering out a "sell" versus someone who is genuine and telling you who they are.
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I have met tons of men through OKC. Keep in mind that I don't talk to them online for longer than few days. I want to meet them in real life ASAP because I don't like to waste time. It feels pretty robotic but anyway, I found that: 1. You can't tell much by their profile or even pictures. Quite a few turned out to look more attractive than I expected. Many turned out worse too. Which just means that I need to meet them all :] 2. On average, men are about 2 inches shorter than what they state. It is especially true for men in 5'7"-5'10" range. 3. First meets almost always feel awkward and sparkless. The most I felt is "Eh, I guess we have few things in common". This is in part my fault because I want to meet them so soon. I don't let anticipation build. No anticipation means no investment and no hurt feelings for me so it is still a preferable option. 4. There is a large % that are just out of LTRs and still carry a torch for their ex. It seems that the first thing people do when they are dumped: make an OKC profile 5. Large % of men are pretty open to initiating second dates even if first one was awkward as hell. Overall, meeting someone for a LTR this way is like looking for a needle in a haystack. If you have a lot of time on your hands and enjoy some casual dating, go for it 1
New User Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Same experience, but really, you are going to mee them anywhere..I don't think it's unique to OLD. That's true of course, but if you're initially meeting someone in person you have all kinds of non verbal cues to tell you this. I guess what I'm getting at is that if I meet someone in person there's a good chance that if they're BSC I'm going to disqualify them before we get to the romantic level whereas with online interactions I likely won't sniff that out until meeting in person for a date.
Author ChessPieceFace Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 I actually laughed at one last night; the woman listed herself as Athletic, though in her profile she said "I have a few rolls on me". Well, I do physical labor for hours every day, I eat better than many skinny people I know and I'm still 50+ lbs overweight. So being active or even athletic doesn't negate having "rolls." Most of being fat is the calories and types of calories you're taking in (which for some of us means not all that much) and how much of a jerk your body is about holding on to them. I like to go to bars/outdoor festivals to socialize, hang out with my friends, listen to a band, but not to meet women. And remember, if you meet her there, there is a good chance that is what she likes to do And what if what I like to do is playing video games? That's the problem. I'm a homebody, I'd like to meet other homebodies but we're all at home. Online dating should ideally help introverts, but as you said it ends up catering to the lazy / rejects. +50 lbs or not I never had any luck dating in person. In fact of the few times I got girls to like me, most started online (back in the days of BBS'es) I know more now, I'm a lot less afraid of socializing now -- I chatted up a cute girl just the other day. But it seems like such a shot in the dark. The whole concept of randomly meeting your lifemate seems so ludicrous to me. I'm a lot more thorough on decisions that matter far, far less. I don't only like playing video games. But when I try to think of activities I would like that I could get involved in to meet girls, I don't come up with much. The IRL stuff I like is heavily skewed towards guys. Except my tastes in music... but concerts for artists I like are so infrequent, and for many of them the girls seem kind of ... insane.
CrystalCastles Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Yeah I started using OKC and I don't really like it. I didn't answer any of the match questions, just put whatever was important on my profile, and that's it. Just like MrCastle, I don't get the whole "quick match" thing. The quick match gives me some random guys that don't match up with any of my interests. I don't get it.
Recommended Posts