Mcscooter Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 I was with my ex-girlfriend for 3 years, she broke it off. She wanted to go party, drink, and meet other guys. Honestly though I appreciated what she done and told me the truth than rather go behind my back. When she broke up with me, I wasn't doing so well. I didn't beg her back or anything I just left it. I got my closure, but I went NC as soon as it was over. For awhile I was thinking about her a lot and thinking if she's ever going to come back. I did things to get her off my mind, Go out have a drink with my friends and meet other people. Visit the outdoor and do adventurous things. Let's just say basically I did more things, than I did when I was with her. After the break up. it was so hard to look at pictures or read her text messages. It's only been a month and I was on facebook and a picture of her came up. I didn't feel a strong emotion as the first time. It felt really good, because I was going through the pictures and times we had. There wasn't really much emotions coming out. I mean there still is, but it isn't heartaching. I miss her, but I don't miss her like I use to anymore. I think I might of seen the better part of life. it's just strange though. I'm starting to feel happy. each week it's getting better. I just want everyone's opinion on my situation. Like is this normal or what? Feel free to say anything.
fujidabruin Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 You are in a great place my friend. I am only 8 days into full NC after being dumped and I could realistically see myself with full closure and accepting her new relationship (possibly be happy for her) within a month or less. I think the key is to have full NC and keep busy. Do positive things and work on yourself. Sounds like your breakup was pretty amicable like mine which does make it easier. I told her I needed to have no contact and she was upset but understanding that I put the friendship offer on the shelf. I think stating that I had to have her out of my life gave me a sense of control and the emotionally attachment could no longer run me. Honestly, I believe that we will be true friends at some point. If I reach the point that I am happy for her to follow her own path then I believe I am there. Still have some work to do and good things to experience before I any of that can happen. Good Luck dude 2
reddragon588 Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 I just want everyone's opinion on my situation. Like is this normal or what? Feel free to say anything. Yes it is normal. Everyone heals differently. Some people heal quickly, some take longer. Be glad that you are moving on! 1
StrongLass Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Even if it's not "normal" I'd say it's a good thing. Seriously, be happy you're coming along so well! 1
Author Mcscooter Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 Thanks for your comments it really makes me feel good. I use to vent out to people how much I missed her. Now i'm venting out what my goals and the adventures I overcome. 3
Virgil876 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Hi there, I answered your thread in the other forum, I might be healing faster than you...! This the 10th day and I'm pretty good about it, I'm kind of shocked at how I can do this so quickly though... Maybe I thought our relationship was slightly stale too...?
OverThinker72 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I'm not sure if healing at this speed is normal but I was the same for a bit. At one point I was completely numb but on Friday I broke down in tears, cried all day and night. It hurt to breathe. I've had no contact for 3 weeks, so it was just a random memory that triggered off the pain. I think I pushed myself to move on way too fast instead of going through the healing process in a healthy way. Everyone is different I guess. Now it's just a dull ache. He's not my first or last thought. I can finally function and walk around with a smile on my face Well at least until the next crying fit lol x 2
Author Mcscooter Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 Hi there, I answered your thread in the other forum, I might be healing faster than you...! This the 10th day and I'm pretty good about it, I'm kind of shocked at how I can do this so quickly though... Maybe I thought our relationship was slightly stale too...? My relationship was very stale, I tried to put effort into it, but at the end she didn't. You shouldn't love someone, who doesn't love you back. 2
Virgil876 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I'm not sure if healing at this speed is normal but I was the same for a bit. At one point I was completely numb but on Friday I broke down in tears, cried all day and night. It hurt to breathe. I've had no contact for 3 weeks, so it was just a random memory that triggered off the pain. I think I pushed myself to move on way too fast instead of going through the healing process in a healthy way. Everyone is different I guess. Now it's just a dull ache. He's not my first or last thought. I can finally function and walk around with a smile on my face Well at least until the next crying fit lol x I don't think you can control how fast you get over these things, it's just that different minds will have different experiences; different train of thoughts; different perspectives; different people for support & different mental levels to cope with these traumatic events, these are all parts of the variables that make up how you cope. Since I am bipolar, I can fluctuate quite a bit but this past fortnight I've been fairly numb, so maybe hurtful events make me... "normal". My relationship was very stale, I tried to put effort into it, but at the end she didn't. You shouldn't love someone, who doesn't love you back. I hate it when it gets to that level, sometimes complacency can come from a very little thing in your life. For me, it's my room, I'm sure it is a big reason for my staleness and my ex falling out of love, reason being my room is just full of things, I have to put everything in my room so it is cramped full of things, which in turn made her uncomfortable, which also disallowed me to do many things and whenever I'm here, I just want to lay in bed and go online all night, it is a... vicious and toxic cycle. And I'm not even a bum, I'm working full time and studying part time for a Masters degree, although I have neglected my artistic ventures. Which is why I have and am changing all of that, ultimately for myself, to not be complacent and to step outside boundaries, etc. This is one big lesson I have learnt from my dumpee position.
Author Mcscooter Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 i hate it when it gets to that level, sometimes complacency can come from a very little thing in your life. For me, it's my room, i'm sure it is a big reason for my staleness and my ex falling out of love, reason being my room is just full of things, i have to put everything in my room so it is cramped full of things, which in turn made her uncomfortable, which also disallowed me to do many things and whenever i'm here, i just want to lay in bed and go online all night, it is a... Vicious and toxic cycle. And i'm not even a bum, i'm working full time and studying part time for a masters degree, although i have neglected my artistic ventures. Which is why i have and am changing all of that, ultimately for myself, to not be complacent and to step outside boundaries, etc. This is one big lesson i have learnt from my dumpee position. My relationship is also very different from everyone. Most of the time I was away from our relationship because of the military. Distance was a big killer. I tried to talk to her as much, but you can only talk about so much after awhile. I couldn't do anything really.
sorensong Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 This story gives me hope. I'm on day one of NC; Just got done unfriending on FB, removing all other points of contact, etc... Wish me luck. 1
aeren944 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 This story gives me hope. I'm on day one of NC; Just got done unfriending on FB, removing all other points of contact, etc... Wish me luck. Good luck! You can do it! NC is the way to go, as illustrated by this thread!
Author Mcscooter Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 This story gives me hope. I'm on day one of NC; Just got done unfriending on FB, removing all other points of contact, etc... Wish me luck. It's all you. If you were once committed to that person, than you can be committed into No Contact. 3
sorensong Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Thanks. I'm so glad I found this site/thread. Last time I felt this way, I was probably 15. Now as an adult, it's the same intensity but it runs so much deeper because I put ALL of my adult self in to it. I was talking to a good friend earlier and I explained it to her that it's so strong that I can feel like I can almost physically touch it. It's so strong sometimes that my logical reaction is to take a step back and tell myself "lets figure this thing out" because THIS... RIGHT NOW... is NOT good... Ugh... So taxing...
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