LittleTiger Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Read the thread again, surprised no one brought up the possibility that the girl is hiding something. Two pages and not one person mentioned that. Are you kidding me? If a girl made a thread about how she went on a date with a guy who refused to give her his number (first of all she'd never agree to a date but anyway) it would take all but one or two posts for a woman to say "maybe he's married or seeing other people, maybe he's hiding something...leave him." But for a woman it's understandable because she's maybe had a few bad first dates? Really? This is normal human behavior? Agreeing to dates with people you don't trust enough to give your cell number to? How paranoid is that? Not one person even entertained the idea she might have issues. Wow. Startling. I don't have issues, but I was just as cautious as she's being when I was meeting people online. Why on earth should she trust someone she's met only once, or never at all. There are lots of people I know rather well who I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw them. One of my Facebook friends is currently being cyberstalked - it happens, all the time! Her behaviour isn't paranoid. In this day and age, it's sensible. 1
Author irc333 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 I don't have issues, but I was just as cautious as she's being when I was meeting people online. Why on earth should she trust someone she's met only once, or never at all. There are lots of people I know rather well who I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw them. One of my Facebook friends is currently being cyberstalked - it happens, all the time! Her behaviour isn't paranoid. In this day and age, it's sensible. Yeah.....I guess so. I am trying to be a bit more lenient, but there's also the other side of the coin where I've been burn by the whole "Catfish" thing, too or just things they may be hiding. YOu never know, but I'll give her some leniency in this case. She wouldn't even give me her # before she met me, and I usually have a STRICT policy of never meeting someone before talking on the phone, but there was so much we had in common, she lived close, and the conversations simply flowed online...AND she was willing to spend 2 hrs with me on a tour bus of a historical downtown area instead of what most women do......meet for drinks for a half-hour to see if there's a connection (or if they didn't lie about their appearance, lol) I am thinking she thought there was a connection even BEFORE meeting me and was willing to go all out for a full afternoon of dating. That's what made me meet her regardless of the phone # being given.
Author irc333 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Well here's the update....I talked with her and she said she's going through a lot right now, apparently her kids are suffering from the custody battle between the father and herself, and the kids caught in between. She recently had to take her child to seek counseling due to the stress of the situation and she's going through a lot right now. That being said she said she'd prefer to be friends....for now. I said, "I'm sorry to hear that, don't be a stranger" And that was that. Yeah, serious baggage.
CptSaveAho Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 you couldnt pick up on the lets be friends line when she didnt give you her number originally?
Author irc333 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 you couldnt pick up on the lets be friends line when she didnt give you her number originally? Actually, she was just being cautious by not giving me her # originally. NOW I have her phone #, so that's moot.
CptSaveAho Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 That being said she said she'd prefer to be friends.... her phone number is about as useful to you as a pack of condoms
Oysters Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Maybe she's not sure and she needs the time to think about the relationship. If she becomes sure later, she will give you a text. Pretty safe move, I must say.
BradJacobs Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Maybe she's not sure and she needs the time to think about the relationship. If she becomes sure later, she will give you a text. Pretty safe move, I must say. Why even give a glimmer of hope? It's over. Final nail is in the coffin. Move on to someone who is available and not into playing games or being bogged down with her own drama. They're are plenty of women out there like that.
phineas Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Orrrrrrrr, she's scared because lots of guys are creeps online, and offline. Sometimes it's easier to not let them know where you live, work, or what your number is. Either way she should be up front. Welllll, if she's afraid of her own shadow maybe she should get off the interwebs & stop wasting guy's time.
SJC2008 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Well here's the update....I talked with her and she said she's going through a lot right now, apparently her kids are suffering from the custody battle between the father and herself, and the kids caught in between. She recently had to take her child to seek counseling due to the stress of the situation and she's going through a lot right now. That being said she said she'd prefer to be friends....for now. I said, "I'm sorry to hear that, don't be a stranger" And that was that. Yeah, serious baggage. This is where the best dating addage comes to mind in "Do her actions match her words?". Ok so she's going through a lot which means in other words that she's not up for dating right now. Totally fine with me but she is on an online dating site so her "problems" didn't seem to be big enough to deter her from dating at the moment. So if she's now realizing she can't juggle her separation problmems and dating she'll delete her account and we'll know she's telling the truth. If she doesn't delete her account it's a typical passive aggressive rejection...
phineas Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 What's funny is, she was telling me about all these online dates she had where the man flaked, ignored her, or something. Even with men she had met in real life....her ex husband was a real *rick to her apparently, and still is. I'm hearing all this from her and politely nodding and thinking, "Man, if I were to date her, I'd do no such thing....I bet she's not used to be being treated nicely by men" And I was thinking that she woudn't be interested in me based on that alone. It frustrates me to hear tales of how men treated her like crap....well...bad first dates that is. Apparently, this one guy , she claimed, practically begged her to a Sci-Fi convention with her.....he apparently had a vendor booth set up and had promised to show her around, but completely ignored her and spent most of his time with his mother and tending to the booth, and later said he would "make it up to her" by taking her out dancing that night. BUt she got blown off As I listened and nodded, in my attempt to flirt, I said, "Man, if I had a pretty lady like yourself at a SCI FI convention, I 'd never do such a thing and I'd my my full attention on you." She giggled and smiled...but I'm thinking she's never been treated right by any man it sounds like, and then she comes across a gentleman like myself...she may have been turned away by it. Some people that are treated crappy are used to that kind of thing and turn their noses up at being treated properly. By now I hope you have learned to basically ignore anything & everything a woman says when it comes to this kind of stuff & look at her actions. I have. Can care less about her past experiences with other men. i'm willing to bet 90% of it is over exaggeration / BS / ****test anyways. 1
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