irc333 Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 Well had a great date with the lady who didn't give me her phone #, and when we parted ways...we spent 5 hours together (prettier in person than online)...took a bus tour, even continued to move onto a place for drink, talked a good while there, too...when we parted ways....I asked for her #, and she said she'll text it to me instead of me taking out my phone and typing it in on the spot. She said she can still stay in touch with me through the dating site, too. Great time, not sure why she wanted to go on a date that long in the first place, but hopefully she'll want to see me again. She told me what got her attention about me was the fact I didn't talk about sex all the time and also I just seemed intelligent compared to the other pervs and neanderthals she had met online and even in real life....some men would even beg her to go out with them, only to have them ignore her on dates or blow her off at the last min. I might follow-up with telling her I had a good time, would like to see her again and if she'd like to feel free to get together again just to get "my answer".
CptSaveAho Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 .I asked for her #, and she said she'll text it to me instead of me taking out my phone and typing it in on the spot. Shes not interested .... if she was she would have given you her number on the spot 5 hours for a first date? 2
sweetkiwi Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Orrrrrrrr, she's scared because lots of guys are creeps online, and offline. Sometimes it's easier to not let them know where you live, work, or what your number is. Either way she should be up front. 3
MrCastle Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Orrrrrrrr, she's scared because lots of guys are creeps online, and offline. Sometimes it's easier to not let them know where you live, work, or what your number is. Either way she should be up front. He doesn't have her number. She can eject at any time and disappear with no messiness. It's an escape plan on her part. And not a very subtle one at that. 3
Author irc333 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 Orrrrrrrr, she's scared because lots of guys are creeps online, and offline. Sometimes it's easier to not let them know where you live, work, or what your number is. Good point, she does have kids, so she's probably protective of them. I'll contact her telling her how a nice time I had and ask her if she'd like to get together again. 3
Lansing Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 If she said she would text you her number, I would leave it a bit and see if she does text you her number. That would be a sign of interest... Look at the girls on here when they are interested in a guy and how much they fret about what the guy thinks about them, etc. I am not saying to play games but don't get too excited about this date that you had and just take your time before sending her more messages.
CptSaveAho Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Orrrrrrrr, she's scared because lots of guys are creeps online, and offline. Sometimes it's easier to not let them know where you live, work, or what your number is. Either way she should be up front. Reread this again IRC... /facepalm
Imajerk17 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 (edited) irc, how do you know that SHE also thought it was a great date? For one thing, did you and she at least kiss and/or hold hands? For another, did you ask her on a second date, even if you and she need to work out logistics at a later time? I'd be more likely to believe it is because she is being cautious (and even then I'm skeptical) IF she said she holds off a few dates before exchanging numbers. Then there might actually be principle involved (keyword: might), as extreme as it sounds. BUT "I'll text you my number" instead of giving it to you outright is 99% of the time a blowoff. There's no principle involved here. I mean, she didn't say she holds off a few dates before exchanging numbers so why couldn't she give it to you then? A girl who is interested will do whatever she can to make a good first impression. Edited August 5, 2013 by Imajerk17
carhill Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Date other women. If this one was moved by your presence, you'd have her phone number and another date would already be in the works. IIRC, you're in your 40's, right? People that age move with confidence and agility in social arenas. They don't dawdle if they experience something they like. Good luck.
nescafe1982 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I might follow-up with telling her I had a good time, would like to see her again and if she'd like to feel free to get together again just to get "my answer". This. Do this. Problem solved. Glad you had a nice date! 1
Author irc333 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 This. Do this. Problem solved. Glad you had a nice date! Yeah, I did just that....I phrased it in such a manner so she could be honest in her response. She told me she all these horror story FIRST dates of men that would ignore her or flake on their dates or talk about their exes all the time, so I figured she'd be deserving of men who are actually gentlemanly. 2
Author irc333 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 For one thing, did you and she at least kiss and/or hold hands? It was a first ONLINE date, so I didn't attempt this, because I was being gentleman, however I would lightly touch her when opening a door and touching her on the back as I would guide her through a door or a passage way. I even pulled out a chair for her when we sat down. I talked to a couple of female friends of mine and they said they wouldn't even let a guy kiss them on a first date, esp. if it was an ONLINE meeting. So it was apparently a good move on my part. 2
sillyanswer Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Did she text you her number as soon as she got home? If she wants you to have it she won't delay.
Author irc333 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 What's funny is, she was telling me about all these online dates she had where the man flaked, ignored her, or something. Even with men she had met in real life....her ex husband was a real *rick to her apparently, and still is. I'm hearing all this from her and politely nodding and thinking, "Man, if I were to date her, I'd do no such thing....I bet she's not used to be being treated nicely by men" And I was thinking that she woudn't be interested in me based on that alone. It frustrates me to hear tales of how men treated her like crap....well...bad first dates that is. Apparently, this one guy , she claimed, practically begged her to a Sci-Fi convention with her.....he apparently had a vendor booth set up and had promised to show her around, but completely ignored her and spent most of his time with his mother and tending to the booth, and later said he would "make it up to her" by taking her out dancing that night. BUt she got blown off As I listened and nodded, in my attempt to flirt, I said, "Man, if I had a pretty lady like yourself at a SCI FI convention, I 'd never do such a thing and I'd my my full attention on you." She giggled and smiled...but I'm thinking she's never been treated right by any man it sounds like, and then she comes across a gentleman like myself...she may have been turned away by it. Some people that are treated crappy are used to that kind of thing and turn their noses up at being treated properly.
sillyanswer Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Don't waste time over-thinking this. You haven't got her number. That's it. She's either not interested or has a string of first dates lined up and will get back to you if she doesn't find someone she likes more. Just assume it's a "no" and keep looking. 1
LittleTiger Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Did she text you her number as soon as she got home? If she wants you to have it she won't delay. I disagree. We've already established that she's extra cautious. She didn't give out her number at the end of the date because she's still a little unsure if she can trust him. Fair enough - she's only met him once. I think she'll reply to the online message in a positive way. Good luck irc333, I hope you hear from her soon. 1
aussietigerwolf Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 if a guy took me to a sci fi convention and then blew me off like that then his loss, I've got a con to check out.
grkBoy Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Good point, she does have kids, so she's probably protective of them. I'll contact her telling her how a nice time I had and ask her if she'd like to get together again. Good plan...don't push, just set a "deadline" in your head on when she needs to finally take on risk or you move on. I'm speaking of if you two go on a second date and she still won't give you any contact info. 1
MrCastle Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Read the thread again, surprised no one brought up the possibility that the girl is hiding something. Two pages and not one person mentioned that. Are you kidding me? If a girl made a thread about how she went on a date with a guy who refused to give her his number (first of all she'd never agree to a date but anyway) it would take all but one or two posts for a woman to say "maybe he's married or seeing other people, maybe he's hiding something...leave him." But for a woman it's understandable because she's maybe had a few bad first dates? Really? This is normal human behavior? Agreeing to dates with people you don't trust enough to give your cell number to? How paranoid is that? Not one person even entertained the idea she might have issues. Wow. Startling. 5
Imajerk17 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Yes. As much as I think irc's woes in dating are brought on by him (what he does and what he doesn't do) I don't think it's all on him. A problem that irc has is that the women in his dating pool tend to have their guard up sky high, due to the men they came in contact with/chose to let into their lives.
Drseussgrrl Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I would pass on this one, honestly. After a date and she hasn't given you her number? That's weird. 1
Author irc333 Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 The one thing I do not like about dating....is that when we really enjoyed ourselves and you LIKE that person, you really hope it's mutual that they would like to see you again. Some dates are easy....I've been on plenty where you don't get a long, or it's forced conversations...and it's a no brainier that no one wants to see each other again.
CptSaveAho Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 tips for dating 1) dont go on 5 hour dates ....... unless the first hour is out somewhere and the next 4 hours is in one of your beds (make the viagra commercials jealous) 2) watch women's actions or lack there of ...... example, you asked for her phone number, she avoided and deflected (didnt give you her number)... her words mean nothing 3) stop online dating ...... talk to people in the real world, say hi to a random stranger... 2
Author irc333 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Well....I had emailed her (through the dating site) about where she stood in wanting to see me again.....later that afternoon, I actually received a text from her (so now I have her phone number), and she said she really enjoyed her time with me (yes the whole 5 hours)....and she said she did get my email....and would respond to it when she got home. When she got home, she got home pretty late at night and contacted me at around midnight saying she had a really busy day today...said her Mondays can get hectic....she was doing things with her son after work that day. So later, if she got time...she would respond to my email when she wasn't so tired. Though, now that I have her phone #, I figured I'd just call her tonight. So apparently, I still don't know where she stands until she gets time to respond. So, I'm still waiting to find out. 2
sillyanswer Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 So she did text you her number! I was wrong. Hope the phone call goes well.
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