Damami2burs Posted November 1, 2004 Posted November 1, 2004 [font=times new roman][/font] Good afternoon: I have been dating this guy for some time now. I feel in love with him he says he isn't ready. We get along really great except that I want more and he doesn't he says rite now. We stop talking last night cause we both said some hurtful things to one another. I do love him and would love this to work. Is it too late or should i give him time to think tell me someone help please.
Naive Posted November 1, 2004 Posted November 1, 2004 Can you give us some more details? What's the reason he gives you for not wanting something more? Why did you two argue? How long have you been dating? etc.
ps123 Posted November 1, 2004 Posted November 1, 2004 Yes, more info would help, and I dont see this as game playing. I actually see this as him being honest with you.
Weird Posted November 1, 2004 Posted November 1, 2004 how is that him playing games? man, that post had perhaps the least amount of info ever.
Starnette83 Posted November 2, 2004 Posted November 2, 2004 well for most guys its hard to commit and us pressuring it just makes things worse rather then better, unlike us girls who crave security, guys just rather not know...they dont like to plan the future, they just want to enjoyt he moment, the moment he senses u want more adn that u want a serious commitment they seem to be scared off and need some space! Give ure man some space, dont take it personal, men are this way...just dont bug him for a while and see him come ure way, if he still doesnt come ure way, just realize hes maybe not the one. I know its hard to give space and not talkt o the person u love so much, but sometimes u bugging so much can seem annoying or clingy... men like to wonder, the more u make them wonder the better!!! ya let him know u love him but dont make him have 100% of you, cuz then he will just grow bored....remember they are hunters and they like the thrill of the chase, once they knwo they got u...it kinda kills it....u can make him wonder, by not always calling and him not always knowing where ure at..show him u have a life of ure own without him..dont revolve ure world about him, cuz in the end sometimes men come and go..... goodluck!
Weird Posted November 2, 2004 Posted November 2, 2004 well for most guys its hard to commit and us pressuring it just makes things worse rather then better, unlike us girls who crave security, guys just rather not know...they dont like to plan the future, they just want to enjoyt he moment, the moment he senses u want more adn that u want a serious commitment they seem to be scared off and need some space! I always read ladies say this and it makes me chuckle. Why? Because every one of my male friends (as well as me) want to find someone who is ready to put in work and have a long lasting relationship and want to settle down. It is the women that I see who don't want this and run away whenever rough spots happen or they are all confused/scared of being in a long termer. Funny how the stereotypes of both sexes are totally opposite with me or with the people I know. Oh and then of coruse there are the many guys here who post pretty much the similar situations where it is the girl who has commitment issues and has issues with the future.
ps123 Posted November 2, 2004 Posted November 2, 2004 well for most guys its hard to commit I agree with Weird on this one. Ive met just as many women as men that have commitment problems. This is an unfair generalization. The last woman I dated had commitment issues in fact. Im male and Im completely able to commit to long term relationships.
DJ_Dork Posted November 2, 2004 Posted November 2, 2004 That's not a game. You women play A LOT of games and are highly manipulative. Scientists around the world agree that female humans play tons of games to control men and get what they want. You see unlike you women, men are direct. We say what we want. When you women say "give me space" it means a whole bunch of things. when men say it ' they mean it'
Author Damami2burs Posted November 3, 2004 Author Posted November 3, 2004 All we ever argue about is when we will be a couple. Other than that everything is great I am not seeing anyone else he isn't as well. He says he has too much going on to commit himself to me. I love him we have been dating since July we have been friends since March. I don't want to get married or anything. I just want reassurance. He says that should be enough with his words and actions. Though I see it as we do everything together we talk and see as much as each other as we can considering we both have crazy lives. I don't want anyone else but him. Am I stupid for sticking around?
ltomlinson81 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 It sounds like he merely does not want to commit to you. And you are probably not going to change his mind. All of the other things he is saying are excuses.
jcweik Posted November 6, 2004 Posted November 6, 2004 Maybe he just got out a relationship? I was seeing a girl for around 2 months and had to break it off because i constantly thought about my ex the whole time i was with this new girl.
Starnette83 Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 men just want sex, if women dont put put i bet they would turn gay
Weird Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 Originally posted by Starnette83 men just want sex, if women dont put put i bet they would turn gay Not true. I dont just want sex and neither do my close friends. I find sex over-rated to be honest.
ChattGirl Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 I'm not going to make generalizations either way. I'm just going to speak from experience. I have been the one on the receiving end being told that the other person is just not ready for a serious relationship and I've also been the one telling someone else I'm just not ready for a serious relationship. It's all because I was not with the person I was supposed to be with. To this day, I have not found the person I am supposed to be with, but I've come to peace with that fact and until that happens, I've stopped wondering why someone doesn't want to be with me or why I don't want to be with this person when things seem to be so great. I know that I've ignored my gut feeling quite a few times because I was scared of being alone and all that did was prolong the enevitiable and when it did come time for things to end, it was so much harder because of the time and effort I put into it. For some reason, this guy just isn't feeling it. Maybe it's time to explore other options...
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