Dating a Greek God of a good looking guy but unfortunately who is DUMB as well

[TheGuard13]

I don't think that's what she's being attacked for.

 

I don't really even think she's being attacked.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm not slamming her for feeling that way.

I'm slamming her for being rude, patronising and self-contradictory.

 

I value intellect, intelligence and the ability to discuss a wide and diverse range of topics.

But if someone isn't on 'my wavelength', I would never consider them dumb.

 

I've met 'dumb' and it has nothing to do with interests of diverse subject matters.

[Treasa]

I don't see how she's being attacked, either.

 

I think if she's so uninterested, she should leave him. But I really don't see how he's dumb.

[Sunshine87]

Posters are upset that she spoke about her bf in a condensing way I.e she called him dumb. Sure, she sounds elitist and snobby. But I put it down to frustration/ exasperation.

 

I'm sure she's learnt never to speak about him that way...well I hope she does after reading the posts.

 

 

OP please disabuse your mind of the thought that he is dumb. As long as he is hardworking and takes his career seriously, he doesn't deserve to be spoken about this way. He works in a completely different industry....so what?

 

Richard Branson was a poor student ( considered dumb matter of fact) but look where he is now! He

employs the smarties ...the lawyers, bankers etc. Lots of people have become millionaires by virtue of their artistic capabilities! Don't ever underestimate an industry just because you deem it inferior to yours.

 

I know how you feel. But ensure that you never allow pride get into your head. God or genetics or luck ( which ever you believe in) blessed you with your brains. You didn't earn them. Remember that anytime pride begins to kick in. Be grateful for your intelligence but don't ever get cocky.

 

Best Wishes.

[StanMusial]

I agree with the posters who said she seemed self-contradicting.

 

To be honest, the story doesn't ring true.

 

At any rate, I'll kick in with some advice.

 

I don't know what sort of "start-up" you are involved with, but I am certain there are PLENTY of guys in your field that you would be thrilled to date, IF you TRULY place high significance on common interests.

[white]

OK come on, come on now, that ones a bit much

[TaraMaiden]

It's hypocritical to complain about someone else's supposed lack of intelligence when you have such poor writing and communication skills yourself.

 

Sorry - but if this is the best you can do, it simply puts you on a par with her.

 

Be realistic.

[Sunshine87]

Lol!!!......

[LittleTiger]

Guys pls don't be too harsh on the OP.

 

She is sapiosexual - someone who finds intelligence the most attractive feature.

 

She is expressing legit concerns.

 

I think she should critically examine his pros and cons....sounds like he has 10 pros and 1 con.

 

Hmm? Maybe, but then why was her first paragraph ALL about his looks? And about her own looks too, come to think of it. He looks like a Greek God, and everyone says how good they look together?

 

My guess is she values looks above intelligence. Which is why she is finding it so difficult to dump him - despite the fact that she thinks he's dumb!

 

Which obviously he isn't!

[tbf]

She is sapiosexual - someone who finds intelligence the most attractive feature.

If she were a sapiosexual, she would have ditched him after five minutes of discussion. This presupposes he's stupid where nowhere in her OP does it describe stupidity. What's being described are differences in interests and values, where there's definitive conflict in her post.

 

Frankly, it sounds like he was a trophy acquisition that failed to shine in front of her friends.

[Treasa]

If she were a sapiosexual, she would have ditched him after five minutes of discussion. This presupposes he's stupid where nowhere in her OP does it describe stupidity. What's being described are differences in interests and values, where there's definitive conflict in her post.

 

Frankly, it sounds like he was a trophy acquisition that failed to shine in front of her friends.

 

I love you, tbf.

[Geiss]

Why don't you just ask him for his report card.

[Babolat]

You said "I have found a brilliant man" then you contradict this with "he is dumb"...just saying....

[Chief Wiggum]

What a ridiculous thread. Just because he doesn't have any interest in politics or business, it doesn't make him dumb. The fact that you've failed to distinguish the difference between intellect and personal interests, suggests you're not so smart yourself.

 

Also, if this isn't a troll thread and he really is a lead character artist in the gaming industry, then he's someone who's skilled in art, human anatomy as well as leadership of teams. That's not a role for a 'dumb' person. Not to mention, he's well travelled and is probably well versed in various languages/cultures.

[Chief Wiggum]

Just read the post again, and if it isn't bull****, then the OP is an ass. Do the Greek god a favour and not continue dampening his lifestyle. Sounds like the dude prefers making the most out of his youth by visiting new countries, people and harnessing his creative soul. But instead, he's being forced to go on dates with a stuck up girl and her stuck up friends talking about start ups. Lol. Poor guy. Get out while you can, man!

[Woggle]

He doesn't sound dumb to me at all but if you feel the two of you are not compatible then end it.

[ScreamingTrees]

Sorry - but if this is the best you can do, it simply puts you on a par with her.

 

Be realistic.

 

To sound like an ass for the moment, why exactly would it put him on par with her? I was thinking exactly the same thing.. Although to focus solely on something like that, that would be said in mere jest, would be missing the grander picture..

 

Now, OP, if you ever read this.. The man you're describing doesn't sound unintelligent to me necessarily.. Sounds like he's being written off prematurely, and the person he's with is already adopting a rather hurtful condescending point of view of the person, who is suspected of being "dumb"..

 

Instead of considering the fact that he's not involved in the same activities, and so perhaps rather than open his mouth just for the sake of having his voice heard, he chooses to remain silent, probably hoping for something of interest to pop up in conversation. His restraint may actually prove a very subtle, relatively insignificant sign of general intelligence..

 

Either way, you can't blame a guy who could give two ****s about cars and auto-mechanics not having much to say when he's dragged into a casual get-together with several friends who know nothing but cars and act like a group of vehicular savants.. That's an issue I tend to face with some of the folks I spend time with from time to time..

 

I mean.. No offense, but, seriously? "That irked me a bit as I already had the feeling that he does not have the ability to discuss anything about smart stuff but"

 

Don't care if I sound like an *******, I'd still be thinking this because it's a knee-jerk sort of thought.. Just that bit alone honestly gave me the genuine impression that English is not your first language.. Or that you're jumping to oddball conclusions because of your own lack of self awareness and a heightened sense of self competency..

[kaylan]

He is an artist. He has nothing in common with business types people and so has nothing to talk about with them. I doubt he is dumb.

 

That being said, if you have no interest in him, dump him. He doesn't deserve to be with someone who doesn't care much about him.

She wont dump him till he bails on her. Sounds like she enjoys the ego boost of landing a hot guy and will just bang him for a while.

 

Lets be real.

 

And youre right. Hes likely not dumb, but just likes different things than her, which contradicts her saying they have all these things in common.

[kaylan]

I dated a guy just like this. You could grate cheese on his abs and he had the perfect face.

 

But....he was painfully dumb

 

I would much rather date an average looking guy that is smart....

I cannot stand this bunk. Why do people act like having a good body makes someone stupid. Youve seen my posts here ES. Im certainly not stupid, and if you knew me in person youd very much know I am quite the intellectual chap. And ask the other women here who may have see my body. Im in pretty good shape.

 

I may be jumping the gun to take a bite off of what you said, but I just really dislike the stereotype that having a good body makes someone more likely to be dumb. Why cant we all just see it as some people being smart, and others not be as smart. Ive met smart people and dumb people among both the hotties and the not so hotties.

Edited August 5, 2013 by kaylan

[lino]

So because a person doesn't talk much about politics and businesses in the tech sector they are dumb? News to me and I have a business in the tech sector!

 

I'd much rather talk about his line of work than with someone who works for Facebook... What the f*ck is so interesting about that?

 

How snobby and elitist can you get... Seriously.

 

The guy should dump you and go put his looks to better use.

[LastLight]

I wonder what would happen if the tables were turned and you had to discuss graphics / game development with his friends?

[edgygirl]

I'm really getting tired of how people slam legitimate questions here.

 

I totally understand what OP is saying. Although I am a creative type I prefer not to date artists. The ones I've met are usually on the shallow side and don't seem to make an effort to know what's going on in the world beyond their looks or profession - which, for someone like me who is an information sponge, would also be a deal breaker.

 

I don't buy the "he's just not interested in the same things as you" but is a smart guy because "he wants to travel the world" argument. I read and try to keep myself informed about a variety of topics and I would feel equally frustrated to be with someone who turns silent because a subject being discussed in a group setting is "not their thing".

 

Since when wanting to travel makes someone intelligent? I traveled the world and... don't see the validity in this argument. Or at least, that's not the type of "intelligence" that's attractive to me.

 

OP - let him go. Lack of broad cultural knowledge is a huge turnoff. You're not excited about making love with him because for us women that's also has to be about mental stimulation. If it's not there now, I don't think it will ever be. The guy won't turn into a curious human being overnight.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I cannot stand this bunk. Why do people act like having a good body makes someone stupid. Youve seen my posts here ES. Im certainly not stupid, and if you knew me in person youd very much know I am quite the intellectual chap. And ask the other women here who may have see my body. Im in pretty good shape.

 

I may be jumping the gun to take a bite off of what you said, but I just really dislike the stereotype that having a good body makes someone more likely to be dumb. Why cant we all just see it as some people being smart, and others not be as smart. Ive met smart people and dumb people among both the hotties and the not so hotties.

 

I never said that great body makes someone dumb. I just think that it's extremely rare to find a great body and high level of intelligence in one guy. I wouldn't exactly say no to him though

[Eternal Sunshine]

I don't get why people are attacking OP.

 

So she called him dumb. She perceives him as dumb. She is lacking intellectual connection. That's all that matters. People are now talking about if he is objectively dumb or not That's not even relevant to the discussion.

 

Imagine if I started a thread where I talk about not finding a guy physically attractive. Then people started saying that he IS objectively very attractive. Irrelevant.

[kaylan]

I never said that great body makes someone dumb. I just think that it's extremely rare to find a great body and high level of intelligence in one guy. I wouldn't exactly say no to him though

I dont think its that rare. Ive met a good bit of smart chicks with nice bodies, and not every guy I talk to in the gym is a dumb sack of bricks. And I knew guys in college who were smart as hell, but also gym bums at the same time. I think the idea of hotness being related to smarts is something people try to project onto attractive folks to knock them down a peg.