Dating a Greek God of a good looking guy but unfortunately who is DUMB as well

August 4, 2013

Hi,

I am having this pondering question on my mind. After years of searching for Mr. Right I have found a brilliant man that am dating right now. Our wavelengths match perfect. His likes, dislikes, fundamental values, opinion about life, children, buying a house, schooling, raising kids - everything is in line with what am seeking. We are a perfect match in that sense. I feel privileged and extremely happy to have found a guy who is probably the hottest guy ever. He is so good looking that gets stares from women all the time wherever we go. We look great together and people cannot stop commenting on how awesome we look as a pair. He is from Czech and I am from Britain/Australia. He might as well model for Dolce and Gabbana with those looks - well, enough about the look part and getting along part.

Where we have a hard time getting along is - profession. He works as a Lead Character Artist for a video gaming company in San Francisco and I work in the technological field for a startup. We share completely different set of friends. While his friends are all artists, some of them are dancers, etc. my friends are all techie type nerds who work at Google or Facebook or have established startups of their own. Some of his friends don't even do anything but survive on their parents money and travel. In fact, a few of his close friends have quit studies to just travel the world, do farming work in foreign countries save money and travel more. One of the couples I know is going to be biking for 2 months exploring Brazil - this is something that he really admires: Travelling for months, exploring countries. He is quite well-travelled himself and has been to pretty much every country in the world which is great. He has 2-3 months of accumulated vacation from 8 years of working at the same company which he utilises for the best and that's great. However, unfortunately I do not have that kind of vacation nor time. I am focused on my work, preparing for the GMAT to get into a top school in the US at least and then work on my own startup that I am preparing a business plan for.

Last night I took him to meet with my friends and we all were having talks about business, startups and politics and he could speak nothing. That irked me a bit as I already had the feeling that he does not have the ability to discuss anything about smart stuff but yesterday it was confirmed as he offered no contribution in our talks and I just ended up feeling embarrassed about having a guy in my life who is just plain dumb but only looks like a Greek God.

I do not have a strong feeling about this guy and rather stop dating him and go out on a date with someone who might be ugly but is smart or who might even be fat or something but is smart. Every time I go out and see girls swooning over my current date I tell myself 'If only you knew that its all looks and there are NO brains'. I somehow wished he was at least a little smart, smarter than me at least but beat myself up every time I see him and dread the moment when I do meet him because it feels like a waste of time being with a guy who knows nothing about business, math or politics or startups or latest happenings but all he knows about is art, travel and that's it.

I desperately want to dump this guy but do not want to regret later as we match on every other aspect. Another thing that irks me a bit is that he always wants to make love and loves making love whereas I would like some intellectual connection. I would appreciate any help with respect to how to approach this situation because am getting less and less interested in this guy. Please help!!!

August 4, 2013

So dump his ass already. This is a really old school, legit problem. Pretty face, no brains. What are you going to do, what course can he take or website can he read or book to buy that turns him from a dumbass into a wise well read and informed man? You have to be that from the ground up.

I've had similar problems with women many times, without the excuse that they were particularly hot. After a few months once the new love factor wears off it becomes a real drag constantly educating their sorry ass on basic stuff and having to change down gears. You start to feel like their parent, except doing a better job than their real ones.

August 4, 2013

He is an artist. He has nothing in common with business types people and so has nothing to talk about with them. I doubt he is dumb.

That being said, if you have no interest in him, dump him. He doesn't deserve to be with someone who doesn't care much about him.

August 4, 2013

So dump his ass already. This is a really old school, legit problem. Pretty face, no brains. What are you going to do, what course can he take or website can he read or book to buy that turns him from a dumbass into a wise well read and informed man? You have to be that from the ground up.

I've had similar problems with women many times, without the excuse that they were particularly hot. After a few months once the new love factor wears off it becomes a real drag constantly educating their sorry ass on basic stuff and having to change down gears. You start to feel like their parent, except doing a better job than their real ones.

I wanna date you then where are all the smart men

August 4, 2013

I dated a guy just like this. You could grate cheese on his abs and he had the perfect face.

But....he was painfully dumb

I would much rather date an average looking guy that is smart....

August 4, 2013

He sounds like he's doing okay in his job and has a career on the go... I very much doubt that he's 'dumb', more just that his interests and knowledge are incompatible with the interests and knowledge of your friendship group. You blatantly believe you're incompatible and I'm sure he can sense that you look down on him and his friends. Leave him, so you're both free to find partners more congruent with what you seek.

August 4, 2013

Where we have a hard time getting along is - profession. He works as a Lead Character Artist for a video gaming company in San Francisco and

He has 2-3 months of accumulated vacation from 8 years of working at the same company which he utilises for the best and that's great.

Soooo...he has a steady job and does so well at it, and at being employed for eight years and having a couple of months accumulated, and you think he's dumb? Just because he doesn't have common interest in the things you and your friends talk about? Not to mention the fact that you're judging him on his friends. I admire people who are well-traveled, too, but I'm not going to quit my job over it.

I just want to make sure I have this straight: You're dating a gorgeous guy who's steadily employed, is well-traveled, and loves to make love.

Can you send him my way, please?

August 4, 2013

I think it's a little rude of you to call him "dumb" just because he isn't knowledgeable in math, business, and startups.

People are intelligent in their own ways, and in their own professions, etc. No one person is ever going to know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING.

I wouldn't/couldn't sit with a group of people and discuss math/startups. To me, that sounds painfully boring and frankly, nothing I'm even interested in. That doesn't make me dumb at all. I'm very smart in other aspects of life and in other areas of thought/school.

Perhaps he found you and your friends pretentious, and eye glazing. He was probably zoned out and uninterested in anything you were even saying. For me personally, that's how I'd be.

If you need a nerd, someone who can discuss math and all that, then go out and find that guy. This guy won't ever live up to your expectations.

August 4, 2013

I dated a guy just like this. You could grate cheese on his abs and he had the perfect face.

But....he was painfully dumb

I would much rather date an average looking guy that is smart....

I don't know. I think I'd rather date this guy, who is everything I just mentioned, plus artistic.

August 4, 2013

I don't immediately get the sense that he is "dumb."

Like Maleficent says, he's an artist and likely doesn't follow business, politics, etc. He isn't saying anything b/c he doesn't have an opinion on the subject and/or he simply isn't interested. But, he knows about art and travel.

The problem isn't that this guy is dumb, rather, he doesn't have your interests. This is a core value issue for you. Leave him. It will continue to bother you.

I am having this pondering question on my mind. After years of searching for Mr. Right I have found a brilliant man that am dating right now. Our wavelengths match perfect. His likes, dislikes, fundamental values, opinion about life, children, buying a house, schooling, raising kids - everything is in line with what am seeking. We are a perfect match in that sense. I feel privileged and extremely happy to have found a guy who is probably the hottest guy ever. He is so good looking that gets stares from women all the time wherever we go. We look great together and people cannot stop commenting on how awesome we look as a pair. He is from Czech and I am from Britain/Australia. He might as well model for Dolce and Gabbana with those looks - well, enough about the look part and getting along part.

I also found it interesting that you started off describing this guy this way...how in the world did you come up with these observations of him and yet not discover that he did not have an opinion of matters important to you? Brilliant? In what way? So, not so dumb, huh?

Oh, wait, I know...his looks simply overwhelmed your more intelligent sensibilities and being a Greek god, it's understandable.

Edited August 4, 2013 by soccerrprp

August 4, 2013

Do him a huuuuuge favor and break up with him.

August 4, 2013

Hi,

I am having this pondering question on my mind. After years of searching for Mr. Right I have found a brilliant man that am dating right now. Our wavelengths match perfect. His likes, dislikes, fundamental values, opinion about life, children, buying a house, schooling, raising kids - everything is in line with what am seeking. We are a perfect match in that sense. I feel privileged and extremely happy to have found a guy who is probably the hottest guy ever. He is so good looking that gets stares from women all the time wherever we go. We look great together and people cannot stop commenting on how awesome we look as a pair. He is from Czech and I am from Britain/Australia. He might as well model for Dolce and Gabbana with those looks - well, enough about the look part and getting along part.

Where we have a hard time getting along is - profession. He works as a Lead
Character Artist for a video gaming company in San Francisco and I work in the technological field for a startup. We share completely different set of friends. While his friends are all artists, some of them are dancers, etc. my
friends are all techie type nerds who work at Google or Facebook or have established startups of their own. Some of his friends don't even do anything but survive on their parents money and travel. In fact, a few of his close
friends have quit studies to just travel the world, do farming work in foreign countries save money and travel more. One of the couples I know is going to be biking for 2 months exploring Brazil - this is something that he really
admires: Travelling for months, exploring countries. He is quite well-travelled himself and has been to pretty much every country in the world which is great. He has 2-3 months of accumulated vacation from 8 years of working at the
same company which he utilises for the best and that's great. However, unfortunately I do not have that kind of vacation nor time. I am focused on my work, preparing for the GMAT to get into a top school in the US at least and
then work on my own startup that I am preparing a business plan for.

Last night I took him to meet with my friends and we all were having talks
about business, startups and politics and he could speak nothing. That irked me a bit as I already had the feeling that he does not have the ability to discuss anything about smart stuff but yesterday it was confirmed as he
offered no contribution in our talks and I just ended up feeling embarrassed about having a guy in my life who is just plain dumb but only looks like a
Greek God.

I do not have a strong feeling about this guy and rather stop dating him and go out on a date with someone who might be ugly but is smart or who might even be fat or something but is smart. Every time I go out and see girls
swooning over my current date I tell myself 'If only you knew that its all looks and there are NO brains'. I somehow wished he was at least a little smart, smarter than me at least but beat myself up every time I see him and dread
the moment when I do meet him because it feels like a waste of time being with a guy who knows nothing about business, math or politics or startups or latest happenings but all he knows about is art, travel and that's it.

I desperately want to dump this guy but do not want to regret later as we match on every other aspect. Another thing that irks me a bit is that he always wants to make love and loves making love whereas I would like some
intellectual connection. I would appreciate any help with respect to how to approach this situation because am getting less and less interested in this guy. Please help!!!

I understand what you mean. Intellectual compatibility is very important because in the long term, you'd need common interests and goals to sustain the relationship.

However,you cant have it all.

Is he a good person? Is he reliable? Do you trust him? Is he caring and loving ? Is he a moral person? Is he financially stable and ambitious ( even though he works in a different industry)? Maybe you might begin to enjoy travelling?

My point is, if everything else adds up except the intellectual part, then maybe you should consider focusing on his positives.

I perfectly understand what you mean. Trust me, I get it. But if he is a good, wonderful man, I don't think you should dump him.

Is he willing to learn more/broaden his horizon ?

August 4, 2013

I've encountered this problem with the person I'm with at the moment, who's a scientist and hangs out with other scientists... they're really convinced they're up there in the pyramid of intelligence, it's rather saddening, you see them missing out on a lot of things, such as traveling. And IT IS rather frustrating for someone like me, who's hung out with people in creative fields for years, to be unable to have conversations that enter personal territory (what inspires you, motivates you, expression, aesthetics, etc) because these people are discussing nothing but surface... that is exactly what I get from their "smart" talk on equations, it's always about the tangible, what smacks you in the eye or more in your bank account, anything past it is "dumb"... there's nothing dumber than such categorization but unfortunately they'll never know because society is built to automatically associate numbers with intelligence, even overlooking the way people that meet this pattern carry on their daily interactions.

This guy sounds like fun for me... I'd be worried if he were a pretty face and only talking about finances (cough) or tabloids... but then I understand too much surface as dumb, not the other way around.

August 4, 2013

I wanna date you then where are all the smart men

You don't want to date me. Business talk bores me; in fact it's a major turnoff for me in anyone male or female to find they talk about work beyond "good/bad day today". It's as bad as discussing the weather. But I don't move in your circles, circles stuffed with captains of industry presumably smoking cigars over port or brandy taken in the finest leather armchairs in wood-panelled studies frequented by the Rothschilds and Rockefellers. If you want to find men on your frequency I suggest you look around you there and propose a merger, if you know what I mean.

August 4, 2013

Lay off OP. She doesn't have the chemistry she's looking for. They have different lives. She's doing the right thing by trying to find someone more in line with what she wants personality wise.

August 4, 2013

Your post is completely self-contradictory.

What the hell do you want, already?

How patronising can you get - ?!

I am having this pondering question on my mind. After years of searching for Mr. Right I have found a brilliant man that am dating right now. Our wavelengths match perfect. His likes, dislikes, fundamental values, opinion about life, children, buying a house, schooling, raising kids - everything is in line with what am seeking. We are a perfect match in that sense. I feel privileged and extremely happy to have found a guy who is probably the hottest guy ever. He is so good looking that gets stares from women all the time wherever we go. We look great together and people cannot stop commenting on how awesome we look as a pair. He is from Czech and I am from Britain/Australia. He might as well model for Dolce and Gabbana with those looks - well, enough about the look part and getting along part.

Where we have a hard time getting along is - profession. He works as a Lead Character Artist for a video gaming company in San Francisco and I work in the technological field for a startup. We share completely different set of friends. While his friends are all artists, some of them are dancers, etc. my friends are all techie type nerds who work at Google or Facebook or have established startups of their own. Some of his friends don't even do anything but survive on their parents money and travel. In fact, a few of his close friends have quit studies to just travel the world, do farming work in foreign countries save money and travel more. One of the couples I know is going to be biking for 2 months exploring Brazil - this is something that he really admires: Travelling for months, exploring countries. He is quite well-travelled himself and has been to pretty much every country in the world which is great. He has 2-3 months of accumulated vacation from 8 years of working at the same company which he utilises for the best and that's great. However, unfortunately I do not have that kind of vacation nor time. I am focused on my work, preparing for the GMAT to get into a top school in the US at least and then work on my own startup that I am preparing a business plan for.

I know who I'D rather strike up a conversation with.

And sister, it ain't you.....

I have no time for geek-nerds who speak tecchie and serious all the time.

You honestly sound like 'all work and no play'. Which to me - is BORING.

Last night I took him to meet with my friends and we all were having talks about business, startups and politics and he could speak nothing.

Because he found you BORING.... Ever think of that?

That irked me a bit as I already had the feeling that he does not have the ability to discuss anything about smart stuff but yesterday it was confirmed as he offered no contribution in our talks and I just ended up feeling embarrassed about having a guy in my life who is just plain dumb but only looks like a Greek God.

No not dumb.

He just rises above such anal discussions... he's an adventurer, a traveller.... had you discussed world-wide geography and travel, maybe he might have shown more interest....

I do not have a strong feeling about this guy and rather stop dating him and go out on a date with someone who might be ugly but is smart or who might even be fat or something but is smart.

Sooo...hang on....

he 'ticks all the boxes'....(see first paragraph, above) and is Mr Right,. and is on the same level of thought as you on so many things - but suddenly, you 'do not have a strong feeling about this guy'....?

That's the self-contradictory bit.

#Which then gets really patronising....

Every time I go out and see girls swooning over my current date I tell myself 'If only you knew that its all looks and there are NO brains'

.

You think this about him?

While you're with HIM??

I somehow wished he was at least a little smart, smarter than me at least but beat myself up every time I see him and dread the moment when I do meet him because it feels like a waste of time being with a guy who knows nothing about business, math or politics or startups or latest happenings but all he knows about is art, travel and that's it.

So tell me... what do YOU know about Art and Travel?

I desperately want to dump this guy but do not want to regret later as we match on every other aspect. Another thing that irks me a bit is that he always wants to make love and loves making love whereas I would like some intellectual connection. I would appreciate any help with respect to how to approach this situation because am getting less and less interested in this guy. Please help!!!

You need to do this guy a huge favour and break up with him.

he deserves someone a lot smarter and less boring and patronising than you.

How rude of you to even post this.

August 4, 2013

Guys pls don't be too harsh on the OP.

She is sapiosexual - someone who finds intelligence the most attractive feature.

She is expressing legit concerns.

I think she should critically examine his pros and cons....sounds like he has 10 pros and 1 con.

August 4, 2013

I don't give a rat's behind what she is.

Being so patronising and rude about someone who simply has a completely different set of interests - and calling them 'dumb' because of that - is inexcusable.

She may be a 'sapiosexual', but there's no need to look down or diss people who simply don't have the same kinds of friends or experiences.

I know several sapiosexual people on here. I'm one of them.

I don't consider others dumb as a result of that.

August 4, 2013

Our wavelengths match perfect. His likes, dislikes, fundamental values, opinion about life, children, buying a house, schooling, raising kids - everything is in line with what am seeking.

Then how is he dumb, exactly?

He's not dumb, he's not into the same things you are. There are plenty of couples that don't share the same interests. If this bothers you, break up with him.

It's kind of amusing that you consider him dumb because he doesn't want to discuss "smart stuff", business, politics and startups, as if it takes scads of intelligence to understand or discuss those things.

To be honest, I wouldn't consider you that smart based on this post if you don't even know the difference between someone who doesn't have your same interests and someone who lacks intelligence in general.

A truly intelligent person would understand that intelligence and interests are mutually exclusive concepts.

My guess? He's probably just bored by the subjects you and your friends enjoy. You guys don't seem to have the same interests in a number of respects, don't sound very compatible, and should probably break up.

August 4, 2013

What's with the sudden rush to "lay off" OP? We're discussing the post same as any other. It goes where it will.

August 4, 2013

I must add that travel is an amazing sport.

Two of my brothers work for two of the biggest law firms in the WORLD, attended top of the range universities and work in cut throat city firms. However they LOVE travelling.

Immediately they get time off work, they travel!

If they have to travel, then so do you. You just don't have an interest in doing so. But trust me, you are missing out.

I think you could learn a lot from him ( learn to enjoy life more and explore the world) and he could learn stuff from you too ( learn to take an interest in world affairs)- not because he wants to impress your friends, but because he loves you and you love him.

Think about it. There is much more to life than intellectual conversations! Ask the woman who is married to a wealthy investment banker, but has no time to love or care for her.

But you know best. Have a good think. Aside from the intellectual concerns, what values does he have that you admire/make you happy? Does the intellectual concern trump EVERYTHING good about him?

August 4, 2013

I'm thinking it's a plus that when the conversation left his realm if knowledge, he stopped talking . Many people don't do that.

August 4, 2013

Who the hell do you think you are?

HOW is he dumb, when his interest involves going and exploring the world, and meeting new people of every culture?!?!

HOW is that dumb? NOT EVERY ONE wants to sit at home, work their arses off, and talk about business in their freakin' leisure!

I have VERY "smart" friends: one engineer I know NEVER talks about math or building things around his friends...

Oh - And you pretty much just called ME dumb! As I know NOTHING about math, start ups and the like. THANKS for the insult!

You are a total snob.

I hope this guy leaves you, and senses your elitist attitude towards life!

I admire people who are well travelled more than I do people who would rather dedicate their entire lives to their careers, actually.

Of course, a balance between the two, career and travel, is ideal.

August 4, 2013

Oopps I meant travel is an amazing activity. Enlightening and exposes you to so much! It's also a great way to learn. Gosh I love travelling.

August 4, 2013

What's with the sudden rush to "lay off" OP? We're discussing the post same as any other. It goes where it will.

Because people are attacking her for (rightfully) letting go of a guy she doesn't connect with on the level she wants.

I don't think we have to slam her for feeling that way.

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Dating a Greek God of a good looking guy but unfortunately who is DUMB as well

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