romanticisingme Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 There's this guy (not exactly dating) I've been having fights and then making up with. For some reason, we keep getting under each other's skin and having rows. But we always make up. Is this what people call a love/hate relationship? How do love/hate relationships arise?
Author romanticisingme Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 It's called sexual tension But we aren't even close to dating. In any case, let's say you're right. Now I'm curious. Who would be the one with "more" sexual tension? The one that picks the fight more or the one that makes up more?
Emilia Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 There's this guy (not exactly dating) I've been having fights and then making up with. For some reason, we keep getting under each other's skin and having rows. But we always make up. Is this what people call a love/hate relationship? How do love/hate relationships arise? From at least one person thinking that this is the healthy dynamic and the other going along with it. I saw it more when I was younger and was caught up in it once or twice but it's just an incredibly immature and toxic way to relate to people. Some are not able to maintain - or don't want to - a drama-free relationship and they keep fighting. When someone tries this dynamic with me now I walk away. 1
Author romanticisingme Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Any relationship that has the phrase sexy in its description is founded mostly if not MOSTLY on the sex,,,,, Can you elaborate? I'm not following. There's no sex involved in this OP.
Author romanticisingme Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 From at least one person thinking that this is the healthy dynamic and the other going along with it. I saw it more when I was younger and was caught up in it once or twice but it's just an incredibly immature and toxic way to relate to people. Some are not able to maintain - or don't want to - a drama-free relationship and they keep fighting. When someone tries this dynamic with me now I walk away. I'm definitely not enjoying it. And I don't think the guy is. He gets exasperated when we fight. Maybe we need to remove ourselves from each other's lives. Clearly we can't be in the same room for more than 10 hours without fighting. It's dysfunctional. 1
Emilia Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I'm definitely not enjoying it. And I don't think the guy is. He gets exasperated when we fight. Maybe we need to remove ourselves from each other's lives. Clearly we can't be in the same room for more than 10 hours without fighting. It's dysfunctional. The last person who did this to me (whom I've removed as much from my life as possible) is a colleague of mine, I wasn't looking for it but he would just blow up at me when we were out for drinks and he would call it 'sexual tension'. I actually found it upsetting because he would literally start shouting at me in a bar. I know he has a messy private life (I'm not interested the slightest in him) and I realised that was his style. He is also an addict inclucing alcoholism. It's never a good thing I don't think.
Author romanticisingme Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 The last person who did this to me (whom I've removed as much from my life as possible) is a colleague of mine, I wasn't looking for it but he would just blow up at me when we were out for drinks and he would call it 'sexual tension'. I actually found it upsetting because he would literally start shouting at me in a bar. I know he has a messy private life (I'm not interested the slightest in him) and I realised that was his style. He is also an addict inclucing alcoholism. It's never a good thing I don't think. Was he interested in you? I did have a liking (not sure how much of that is romantic) for this guy. But clearly our makeup is different. And that's why we fight and make up.
Emilia Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Was he interested in you? I did have a liking (not sure how much of that is romantic) for this guy. But clearly our makeup is different. And that's why we fight and make up. To a degree yes but only in the sexual sense. He cheats on his wife a lot. He is used to toxic relationships. Is it about your wanting him to work harder or to show you more?
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 How do love/hate relationships arise? Usually with a little bit of love and a little bit of hate. My personal recipe calls for 3 cups of hate and 3 1/4 cups of love. Add some yeast and flour. Bake for 2 hours. Let it sit and cool off. And voila.
Author romanticisingme Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 To a degree yes but only in the sexual sense. He cheats on his wife a lot. He is used to toxic relationships. Is it about your wanting him to work harder or to show you more? Did you mean work harder toward a relationship with me or show me more affection? I don't quite understand your question.
Emilia Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Did you mean work harder toward a relationship with me or show me more affection? I don't quite understand your question. Both. Whether the conflict comes from his not giving you want you want.
Author romanticisingme Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Both. Whether the conflict comes from his not giving you want you want. I'm not sure. We fight mostly about different approaches to issues or problems, both of which aren't romance-related types. Do you think subconsciously it might be that in me, that I may want more but not conscious of it?
Author romanticisingme Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 you can't though. he's sexually appealing. I don't find him hot actually. And I'm dating other people.
Emilia Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I'm not sure. We fight mostly about different approaches to issues or problems, both of which aren't romance-related types. Do you think subconsciously it might be that in me, that I may want more but not conscious of it? I don't know. I suppose you need to work out why the two of you are in the sort of situation where the emotional response is so strong. Most people don't care enough to fight with people they are not in a relationship with because it's exhausting.
Author romanticisingme Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 I don't know. I suppose you need to work out why the two of you are in the sort of situation where the emotional response is so strong. Most people don't care enough to fight with people they are not in a relationship with because it's exhausting. Sounds about right. There could be other factors at work. I don't know. I guess you fight with friends and family or people you are comfortable with.
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