Makemebad Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 We lost our baby when i was 13 weeks pregnant. Nothing has been the same between us since. His mind is constantly somewhere else, Even when he is sitting right next to me he is light years away. I feel so alone in this. I can't stop thinking of being with someone else, Because i just long for his touch. It is so very strange though, Whenever he does show his affection it doesn't feel right to me, Like I've somehow forced him into it even when it was completely of his own will. We are such an amazing couple, Both so curious and adventurous. Both so hurt. Neither of us have had it easy in life, It has truly always been tears sorrow and pain. Such a sick joke to have taken our baby from us. I want another baby now, he doesn't. It is driving me mad, this endless tug of war to heal my heart and finally feel at least halfass okay again. He is 18, And I 20, And he doesn't want one for a very long time. Understandable, Especially considering our age, But i feel ready. More than ready in fact. God I lothe myself. I'm pretty sure he has been thinking of breaking it off between us, Life has just gotten to hard for us. To many bills, To many hours at work, To many issues. To much urgency to run from what we have. Oh the drama :/ Will this ever improve? Or should i simply, and cowardly, Cut and run.
JAG-UR Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 I'll start by saying that I am sorry for your loss. Grieving can be a gruelling process, but it could make you stronger as a couple if you let it. Being open and patient will be very important. I think you have some tough questions to ask yourself. Are you ready for a NEW baby or do you want the old one back? You've acknowledged the fact that paying bills adds to stress. A baby would only make it worse. When/if you have a baby with this man, it deserves the best possible start. Can you provide that at this point in time? Can you provide the baby with parents that are a team? Both of you are still quite young. If you love this man, is waiting to have a child really a bad thing? Instead, perhaps investing effort into the relationship would be a good idea. If your partner is closed or if you two have trouble communicating, then perhaps try some counselling (individual or couple)? You don't have to settle for 'halfass okay.' You can get some help, and you can use this to make you a stronger person and you can be amazing. Perhaps you feel that you have been kicked while you were down, but never forget that you have the rest of your life to experience happiness. The choices that you make now are important in the healing process. All the best!
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