I'msolostatthemoment Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 There is this guy, who has pursued me for almost 2 years. He has flirted with me, stared at me, hugged and kissed me on my cheek loads of times, touched me as much as he can, told me he likes me twice, and been really nice to me. He has shown a lot of interest in me, but has not acted on it. Any idea's why not? It sucks, your input would be great you guys
Author I'msolostatthemoment Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 I have and done alot of reading on observing signs from guys who are like this, and he hasn't faked it at all. How come he doesn't ask me out though, especially after so long?
tbf Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Interested men aren't afraid to ask women out, unless they're socially inept or lack confidence. 5
carhill Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 OP, what have you done? Let him? Romance is a two-way street. 2
Author I'msolostatthemoment Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 OP, what have you done? Let him? Romance is a two-way street. I lack alot of confidence in myself, and am very shy particularly with someone I like. I was as nice as I could be to him to hopefully give him the hint that I like him, and I don't have the confidence to make any sort of move myself. The thing is, he hasn't asked me out though, which is what I'm so confused about?
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 I lack alot of confidence in myself, and am very shy particularly with someone I like. I was as nice as I could be to him to hopefully give him the hint that I like him, and I don't have the confidence to make any sort of move myself. The thing is, he hasn't asked me out though, which is what I'm so confused about? Being nice doesn't mean anything. You're going to have to muster some confidence and make a move.
Author I'msolostatthemoment Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 He's gay??? Nope he is definitely not gay! This really sucks though, driving me crazy!
Author I'msolostatthemoment Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 1. 2 years is a long time to be hanging on. 2. There is a major imbalance in the levels of attraction: yours is much stronger than his. It is time for you to cultivate some new options. I don't know if my attraction to him is stronger than his. When I'm in his presence I am pretty good at hiding my attraction in some ways! He on the other hand, I can read his body lanuage pretty well, as well as all the things in has carried out over the past while, as in my first post! He continues like this, but hasn't made a real move
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 He continues like this' date=' but hasn't made a real move[/quote'] Neither have you. 2
CptSaveAho Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Neither have you. If you havent figured it out... by reading this thread and the 100s of others like this Women arent wired to straight ask a guy out unless its a friend or someone extremely safe. Rejection from a guy kills a woman's soul 1000xs worse then a girl rejecting a guy. Its why they go into whats called "auto-rejection" They will start convincing themselves that the person is the worst idea, emotionally throw him under a bus in their minds and move on quickly Contrary to the views/likes of other posters of this thread, the guys at fault here, and its probably a lack of confidence on his part which is why she can't just "ask" him out probably on subconscious level because he's not a strong enough leader to lead their interactions. 1
PJKino Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Interested men aren't afraid to ask women out, unless they're socially inept or lack confidence. So if she likse him and he lacks confidence she can ask him out..Humans can be insecure or unconfident at times but it seems as if men in the dating world men arent ever allowed to show weakness or insecurity but women can..
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 If you havent figured it out... by reading this thread and the 100s of others like this Women arent wired to straight ask a guy out unless its a friend or someone extremely safe. Rejection from a guy kills a woman's soul 1000xs worse then a girl rejecting a guy. Its why they go into whats called "auto-rejection" They will start convincing themselves that the person is the worst idea, emotionally throw him under a bus in their minds and move on quickly Contrary to the views/likes of other posters of this thread, the guys at fault here, and its probably a lack of confidence on his part which is why she can't just "ask" him out probably on subconscious level because he's not a strong enough leader to lead their interactions. I've been asked out so that throws out your theory. No one cares about her soul. I sure don't.
tbf Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 If you've read his signals correctly, ask him out. she can ask him outDid you miss post #2?
carhill Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 He has flirted with me, stared at me, hugged and kissed me on my cheek loads of times, touched me as much as he can, Have you done any of this to him, proactively? If so, how has he reacted? If not, why not?
Author I'msolostatthemoment Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 If you havent figured it out... by reading this thread and the 100s of others like this Women arent wired to straight ask a guy out unless its a friend or someone extremely safe. Rejection from a guy kills a woman's soul 1000xs worse then a girl rejecting a guy. Its why they go into whats called "auto-rejection" They will start convincing themselves that the person is the worst idea, emotionally throw him under a bus in their minds and move on quickly Contrary to the views/likes of other posters of this thread, the guys at fault here, and its probably a lack of confidence on his part which is why she can't just "ask" him out probably on subconscious level because he's not a strong enough leader to lead their interactions. I have been rejected in the past by guys, and it has absolutely killed my confidence, and I am extremely shy, and its just like a brick wall for me. Its something I just cannot overcome at all. There was one guy I used to date and he broke my heart so much in the past, and also, years ago I did ask a guy out (I somehow plucked up the courage to do so) he rejected me, told all his friends about it. Both him and his friends all laughed at me, and it has killed absolutely confidence I have with guys.
carhill Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 One price of a lack of confidence is missing out on productive and healthy relationships. That's how life goes sometimes. 1
Author I'msolostatthemoment Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Have you done any of this to him, proactively? If so, how has he reacted? If not, why not? He always initiated any of this, and I went along with him because I was safe in the knowledge that he initiated it, and I knew then that he would have been ok with me hugging him back, or giving him a kiss on the cheek when he had given me a kiss on the cheek. I couldn't initiate anything with him, only be as nice as I could be to him, as that is the only way I could try and let him know I like him. My confidence was shot years ago.
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 I have been rejected in the past by guys, and it has absolutely killed my confidence, and I am extremely shy, and its just like a brick wall for me. Its something I just cannot overcome at all. There was one guy I used to date and he broke my heart so much in the past, and also, years ago I did ask a guy out (I somehow plucked up the courage to do so) he rejected me, told all his friends about it. Both him and his friends all laughed at me, and it has killed absolutely confidence I have with guys. That's life, hun. Do you go into hibernation when you don't get the job you applied for? It's something you're going to have to overcome because there's plenty of women who will do what you're not willing to do. There's no such thing as "I can't". You simply "won't". I would tell a guy the same thing, so there's no bias from me. With your mindset, you will lose out. Your lack of confidence will affect you in other areas of life as well.
Author I'msolostatthemoment Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 That's life, hun. Do you go into hibernation when you don't get the job you applied for? It's something you're going to have to overcome because there's plenty of women who will do what you're not willing to do. There's no such thing as "I can't". You simply "won't". I would tell a guy the same thing, so there's no bias from me. With your mindset, you will lose out. Your lack of confidence will affect you in other areas of life as well. A few years ago, there was a similar situation with a guy I liked too. It was the same thing then too. He was similar to this guy, and I just couldn't let it out how much I liked him. I guess I missed out on a relationship that time too. I have no idea how to overcome this, it has effected my love life alot, and I have lost out. Its just like a brick wall, or if someone has a phobia to spiders, or are afraid of heights, thats what its like for me.
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 A few years ago, there was a similar situation with a guy I liked too. It was the same thing then too. He was similar to this guy, and I just couldn't let it out how much I liked him. I guess I missed out on a relationship that time too. I have no idea how to overcome this, it has effected my love life alot, and I have lost out. Its just like a brick wall, or if someone has a phobia to spiders, or are afraid of heights, thats what its like for me. You have to keep putting yourself out there. Make the first move, ask him out. He may say yes, he may say no. If a man can risk rejection, so can you. No gender is entitled to be approached by the opposite sex.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 There is this guy' date=' who has pursued me for almost 2 years. He has flirted with me, stared at me, hugged and kissed me on my cheek loads of times, touched me as much as he can, told me he likes me twice, and been really nice to me. He has shown a lot of interest in me, but has not acted on it. Any idea's why not? It sucks, your input would be great you guys[/quote'] Either he's gay or very very afraid to make any moves (see my thread today about being risk averse). 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Bottom line, you can't sit on your ass forever waiting for others to make moves when you're not bold enough to do the same. Bless you.
GreatKissser Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Ask him, "Are you ever going to ask me out?" 1
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