amythan Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 (edited) Hi there, This is a long story but I will try to cut it as short as possible ... I met this guy in january, we liked each other and we start talking. We do not see each other that much because he lives in a different town but things escalated and he made clear he was interested. Now, he had a long term gf and they broke up three months ago and from this day he is a mess. He says he wants to go out with me and then freaks out. We talked and he said that he needs to sort out his feelings for her and clear his head. I respect that but we agree to be friends and things got hot again and he disappeared for three weeks. Overnight. Without even one word. I am not a nagging person at all and sometimes I feel that I am overly nice and never want to bother people so I never confronted him. Then we talked and he said: "I wish I'd met you in any other period of my life than now, I genuinely don't know anyone as decent and as nice than you are. Plus cool, funny and hot x" I didn't reply. I do not know what to say. And I do not know what to do. I do like him very much (and i do not like that many people) but I cannot wait forever because this situation is making me really sad. I started questioning if it was something I did or if there is anything wrong with me. He really seemed to like me. Should I try to be friends ? Wait ? Leave ? Also I do not know if he is that into me and all this is an excuse or he has just a lot going on as he claims ... Thanks for your opinions ! Edited August 3, 2013 by amythan
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 To answer your question... yes. It is a valid excuse. Here is the way I always saw it. Anyone who I got into a relationship right after splitting with my ex, wouldn't have worked out anyways. I say move on, stay in touch though! Remain friends, i did that with a few guys I dated and one of them I even ended up dating again after a year or so had passed.
anomaly Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 I would say he is probably genuinely into you but is still working through a lot of things from his prior relationship which are preventing him from getting more serious with you. I do think timing is not really an excuse but a legit reason, he wishes he could be with you when he wasn't dealing with these other things. The same thing just happened to me. The woman I was dating and was serious about for a few months told me she can't afford any more at this moment because she has so much going on and she says its just bad timing. I would say move on, be friends if you can manage that, but definitely keep in touch. You never know down the road.
truth_seeker Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 I would agree with the others in that don't burn a bridge and leave things on good terms. You guys could circle around to each other in the future and the "timing" might be right then.
Author amythan Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Yeah definitely I would like to keep in touch but not sure if we can deal with being friends. Every time we try we email each other ten times per day and after a while he feels guilty and he freaks out. I do not know if he has the desire of being friends either. And the fact that he disappears put me in a difficult position as I do not want to force him or nag him but I also want to be treated rightly. But this is an issue I do not know how to confront ... But for sure I care and I will try to keep in touch. He is a good person and fun to be around, just a bit of a drama queen and probably messed up these days The other thing is I never felt this bad timing in my life and I struggle to understand how can you risk losing someone if you are really into them .. this is why in my head I always questioned his interest, even though I said nothing, but for sure makes me feel confused.
hoping2heal Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Hail yes bad timing is an excuse. Love will make you do some crazy *****, you will tolerate crazy *****, you will say and think crazy *****, it's crazy *****. Anyway, if a man or woman really wants to be with you that badly they find a way. If they don't bother to find a way it's because they are only luke warm at best. 1
Author amythan Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 hoping2heal: I think the same to be honest and this is why I am actually that sad. I thought his interest was real but I start to think that he just likes me. I do not understand stop talking to someone you really care about. At least I do not do it.
truth_seeker Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 Hail yes bad timing is an excuse. Love will make you do some crazy *****, you will tolerate crazy *****, you will say and think crazy *****, it's crazy *****. Anyway, if a man or woman really wants to be with you that badly they find a way. If they don't bother to find a way it's because they are only luke warm at best. I have to agree with this. If someone wants you badly enough, they will get off their ass to make it happen. Sometimes "timing" can be they have higher interest in someone else at that moment or they're in the process of getting over someone at the moment. It sucks, but you can't wait around for a person. You have to live your life and keep trekking.
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