Gooch1980 Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 So I met a lovely young lady and we've been dating for about a month. I'm 32, she's 29. She has a 4 yr. old son and she's extremely busy finishing up her bachelor's. She is about about to start her last semester which will be chaotic. Between the 2, it's very hard to get together even on a weekly basis but she's into me and will start convos and keep them going. Been out on a few dates together and we have very solid chemistry. I can make her laugh all the time. We talk quite a bit and I've been around the block enough to know that this girl is really into me. We haven't had sex yet but we've gotten very passionate and there are no signs from her to back off, quite to the contrary. She hasn't been in a relationship in 3 years nor to my knowledge has she been fooling around during that time at any level due to her being very shy and also with school, son and what not. Last night we had a great night and as soon as she got home, she was texting me telling me how she really enjoys spending time with me and couldn't go to sleep because I was on her mind. We keep texting and then something very strange starts happening. She wants to continue to date me but also wants to keep her options open citing that she's worried because she's gotten into bad relationships in her past because she dove in too quickly. All of this seems reasonable of course plus she's going to be so busy anyways coming up that she won't have much time to do much of anything on the dating scene. She of course will try and arrange us some time here and there when she can for us to go out and what not but also said if she meets someone, she might go out with him as well just to gauge chemistry and options. She isn't the kind of girl that fools around. She will still call/see me etc and do what she can to make me a priority when she can. My first thought was friend zone but she's talking to me like a girl I'm dating and not a friend on any level and like I said, it seems like she truly makes an effort and I know for a fact she is totally attracted to me and I easily get her hot and bothered. Should I cut bait and run altogether? Give her time/space and do my thang? Thoughts?
white Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 If, if, you're right about her feelings, then it sounds like she's just trying to appear cooler than she is about it by spieling about open options when there are none. You better be sure you're right though. We can't tell from this end.
truth_seeker Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 From what your wrote, I say she is very into you but like a lot of people fear sets in. Reassure her that you respect her space and you will be there for her.
Author Gooch1980 Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 Thanks for the input. Well, only a few hours later, she texts and says she wants me to head to her place late tonight for the very first time after she finishes up a bunch of homework. She lives with her Mom and Son in a pretty large house and I guess she has a whole side of the house to herself. With her, this is a big deal because she is a very family oriented person. I'm just picturing everyone passed out cold while she sneaks me in in the dark. I know I'm the guy here lol but I'm imagining total booty call. I'm not one to pass that up of course but man.... with her being out of the game for awhile, is it possible that she looks to me as a f*ck buddy first even with all the chemistry?
aloneinaz Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 To be brutally honest, I would of not cared to here a girl I've been dating for a month tell me she wants to keep her options open to date others as well. To me, she wants you around as a back up plan but it not that into you. If she was, she would of never told you that. She'd be saying just the opposite. She be asking about being exclusive in not seeing anyone else. It all depends on what you're looking for. If you're not too emotionally attached, put her on the back burner and keep looking for someone who WANTS to be in a relationship with only you. Keep her around until you lock down someone new but don't let your emotions get involved in it.
Author Gooch1980 Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 Thanks Arizona. Actually she wants me over early now to meet her son. That is enough said for me. Gonna keep it goin' but thanks all for the input.
D-Lish Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 She has basically said that you can't be a priority in her life because she has a kid, school, and other potential boyfriends to consider... WTF? It's like a disclaimer she can cite down the road when you start to get attached and she's still lining up dates with other people "Hey, I told you so!"
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