The ex

[Shahatls]

Ok I've been friends with a guy for 5 months, when we first until things just recently ended he was honest about everything. When we first met he explained he was with his ex for 10 years and at the time we met they ha been seperated for 1 year but still having sex throught the breakup..only because of the comfort zone.. Ok I understood the situation at the time we met but months after seeing each other at least 5 times a week. I would stay at his house and he stayed at mines. Ive met his kids and family and he's met mines. We had a chemistry that was amazing. We couldn't get enough of each other. And i could say we dated without the title. ok so Fast forward.. He told his ex about me and she was aware that I was around etc.. So just as we were about to bring our friendship into a relationship his ex comes to him beggin to work their family back out and that she want him back and all the extra crap. So he comes to me saying he loves me and that I already know how he feels about me.. How I everything to him and how he sees a wonderful future with me blah blah. But also that he was torn that after a year later she now expresses herself to him but never once mentioned working things out prior to us moving forward. He explained to me that he was torn between the two of us only because they have kids involved and that he needed time to figure things out.when he told me he needed time to figure things out I was beyond hurt. So I gave him time to figure it out but days went by and when I would ask what was going on he kept saying the same thing " I don't know what to do..Im torn and emotionally drained" and that he felt like he owed her another chance since he messed up with her so many times. so I told him that I don't want to make things hard and continue to drag his decision on because it was stressing him out.. I told him that If he felt like he owed her a second chance then it would be best that he gave her that because it was going to be a guilt trip if we were to move forward even though I wanted him to be with me. I felt like even though he was still deciding I felt like his mind was already made up. So a few days later he told me that he decided to give his ex another chance for the kids sake! I was completely distraught and couldn't do nothing but cry. He then explains that he still wants to continue to talk.. Deep down that seemed to hurt worst because I felt like he chose comfort over happiness and he admitted that . I decided that no contact would be best and he felt like that was a drastic decision but lord knows I want him back. Before he made his decision he poured his heart out to me and told me how he felt about me but I can't understand how things were so perfect and ended in hours... I want him back and my feelings are still strong for him. My friends say he'll be back and that she only wanted him back because of me so it won't last long but I need advice

[flitzanu]

i'm not exactly sure what you want advice with. if you want to deal with the heartache, then you stick to NC and stop talking to him and don't communicate with him again.

 

he chose to be with his ex and not you, so you don't have much you can do. sitting around waiting to be his second choice again isn't good for you. don't you want someone that WANTS to be with you?