GravityMan Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I'm fine being the man that I am. And dont need such advice or help from you or him. If you're truly "fine" with the man that you are, then why do you care about how your friend John acts towards women, as well as their positive responses to his cocky behavior? There are different ways to show confidence. John's method is just one of them, and he appears to have a natural talent and/or substantial experience in identifying the types of women receptive to his ways. (That doesn't necessarily mean they'll date that kind of guy...but they just enjoy the fun.) Other women will give him the cold shoulder and are more favorable to some other kind of confident guy. 1
Sanman Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 So, he is a guy in a relationship that likes to flirt when he is at the bar. Congrats, a person flirting to feel good is nothing new. As for his behavior, raunchy behavior can be fun and interesting, sometimes it lands and sometimes it does not. I have done it myself and it usually works well at a bar. You just need to know your audience. I remember back a few years ago when I was out with some friends and single(-ish). I picked up two girls at the bank ATM between bars and we all went to the next bar together and hung out with them and their friends. My friend talked to one girl for two hours about their similar professional aspirations and struck out. I ended up getting her number and a 3am booty call after a 5 min convo about vibrators. Not every women out at the bar is looking for the man she is going to marry, some just want to have fun.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 OP, I'd listen to the women who say that John's behavior doesn't really turn them on -- there are probably more of them out there than you think. The thing is that when behavior like John's plays well, the success is very public and very loud. When that behavior is not well-received, you don't see it because women generally don't want to make a scene. There used to be a guy at my workplace who liked to get a rise out of women -- almost all married -- by always being too forward . . . but not quite forward enough for "nice" women to call him out on it. As a guy who's never been able to suggestively flirt with anyone, I found him highly annoying. This behavior came back to bite him, though. One woman was offended enough to bring in HR and that was it for his employment.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 OP, I'd listen to the women who say that John's behavior doesn't really turn them on -- there are probably more of them out there than you think. The thing is that when behavior like John's plays well, the success is very public and very loud. When that behavior is not well-received, you don't see it because women generally don't want to make a scene. There used to be a guy at my workplace who liked to get a rise out of women -- almost all married -- by always being too forward . . . but not quite forward enough for "nice" women to call him out on it. As a guy who's never been able to suggestively flirt with anyone, I found him highly annoying. This behavior came back to bite him, though. One woman was offended enough to bring in HR and that was it for his employment. That's true that behavior like that at work might get someone in trouble. But on average, outside of work the behavior OP described plays pretty well for most women. The ones who claim otherwise are probably the exception to the rule.
Sanman Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 That's true that behavior like that at work might get someone in trouble. But on average, outside of work the behavior OP described plays pretty well for most women. The ones who claim otherwise are probably the exception to the rule. I would not say they are always the exception, it depends where you are. At church on Sunday, many of those women might be offended. At a bar on a Saturday night, the number goes way down. You have to know your audience. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I would not say they are always the exception, it depends where you are. At church on Sunday, many of those women might be offended. At a bar on a Saturday night, the number goes way down. You have to know your audience. I agree with this. I just didn't want to be the one who said it.
PJKino Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 It's because he seems confident, and not afraid to actually say what he wants. Women love men that go for what they want. Trepidation, fear, anxiety, apprehensiveness....are all unattractive to women. Yes because women exepct men to be robots who never show insecurities fear or any weaknesses.. 1
MomsSpaghetti Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 He's obviously good-looking. An average-looking or ugly guy would be perceived as a perv if he did the same thing. Whereas this guy is perceived as fun and confident. 1
strongnrelaxed Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I am an athiest. I find it very deeply sad and creepy that so many people actually believe in a magic man in the sky and that we should worship a zombie on a stick and ritually engage in cannibalism every Sunday or burn in the ground for all eternity. This thought is so deeply disturbing to me I cannot seem to shake it after all these years. So too am I surprise at the nature of women in modern Western society. They respond to certain things (boorish behavior by men, for example) only to later claim to hate it. There is a duality in all men. The light/dark, good/evil, violent/peaceful, romantic/lustful exists in all of us. So too do several types of duality exist in women. I will not share them here as this site is very female oriented and you will be distracted by the predictable claims that "not all women are like that". But they are. We ALL are. So, let that stuff go. Some women will react to guys like this. They have fun. The women around them have fun. They live happy lives and do good things in the world. Be yourself. Do not do those things, and find a woman who likes good guys like you. Good luck.
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