Lei Ping Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 "While there don't talk if you can help it. Just listen and be polite but brief. Smile and don't offer too much information about where you are from. The outing is about you two not about other people who will seem intimidating." LOL! You obviously don't know me AT ALL. I just got off the phone with him and he assured me that it's much more casual than I'm expecting. So I just pulled out my favorite Ann Taylor dress and a string of pearls. No hat I think that, most of all, I appreciate that he never once made it out to seem that we're different "classes" as it were. However I'm no slouch, either. I put myself through college, too. Go Heels. If you consider you and your BF of a whole month (Wow!) to be in "different classes" I may not "know" you but I can tell you that this relationship will never work. Did you meet him at a polo game? Do you know or care anything about polo? Is he riding? You have a mental separation between the two of you based on economics and your perception of "class" which will inhibit the growth of anything that even comes close to real love and when he figures that out (or maybe he has and just like the new Pum-Pum he's found) he will show you what become of old polo mallets when the new one arrives. Julia Roberts, indeed. You'll be back to corn-holing and riding tubes in no time.
Author Drseussgrrl Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 If you consider you and your BF of a whole month (Wow!) to be in "different classes" I may not "know" you but I can tell you that this relationship will never work. Did you meet him at a polo game? Do you know or care anything about polo? Is he riding? You have a mental separation between the two of you based on economics and your perception of "class" which will inhibit the growth of anything that even comes close to real love and when he figures that out (or maybe he has and just like the new Pum-Pum he's found) he will show you what become of old polo mallets when the new one arrives. Julia Roberts, indeed. You'll be back to corn-holing and riding tubes in no time. Huh? It was a joke. As in, I can't keep my mouth shut to save my life. And - I'm not ashamed of who I am. Neither is he. But thanks for being quite insulting. We're doing just fine, thank you. And no I didn't meet him at a polo match and he doesn't ride. I met him online - the old fashioned way.
Author Drseussgrrl Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Just because it appears his family has money doesn't indicate that the wealth is shared with his salary. Many wealthy families don't trickle down the money to their children. He's still living on their property, yes? When does he plan to separate from being under their roof? I know nothing of his individual financial situation. The property belongs to his mother's side. They rent out the other residences on the property and he manages that, as his mother is in ill health. He lives by himself, and pays rent himself to the trust.
GorillaTheater Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Julia Roberts, indeed. You'll be back to corn-holing and riding tubes in no time. Kind of reminds me of Hannibal Lecter making fun of Starling's cheap shoes. Either that or someone desperately jealous of their social superiors. 2
RedRobin Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Kind of reminds me of Hannibal Lecter making fun of Starling's cheap shoes. Either that or someone desperately jealous of their social superiors. Ok, but he/she has a point. The fact that my ex-H came from old money meant not much to me. I never considered his family to be better or worse than me or mine just because they had $$ and mine was blue collar. Sure, it was an adjustment... just like moving to Upstate NY was an adjustment after having lived in warm climates my whole life... ....and yea, people have individual preferences. But OP, my reason for holding back on the 'I love you's" has just as much to do with the fact that I'd need to contemplate at least a little what that adjustment might mean and also I don't have a habit of telling anyone I've known for a month that I love them. To me, love is not a feeling. But that is just me. ... and you are you, OP, and no one knows what does or does not go on between two parties. If you are happy, then that is great!! Very happy for you!
2sunny Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I know nothing of his individual financial situation. The property belongs to his mother's side. They rent out the other residences on the property and he manages that, as his mother is in ill health. He lives by himself, and pays rent himself to the trust. So he may NOT have his own money... He pays rent. If you THINK he has his own money - and it turns out its not HIS money at all - wold you still feel you are in love with him the same way you say you are now? 1
Author Drseussgrrl Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 So he may NOT have his own money... He pays rent. If you THINK he has his own money - and it turns out its not HIS money at all - wold you still feel you are in love with him the same way you say you are now? Of course I would. I think people are making a much bigger issue out of his financial situation than even I am. I was more surprised by this revelation about his life than anything else. He's a simple guy. He drives a Toyota. His room is a mess. He doesn't live this elaborate lifestyle. He's not jetting off in a yacht on weekends. Like I said he's just a dude who loves his dogs like I love mine, we enjoy brunch, the same bands, football and he likes my friends a lot. He cracks me up. He's wickedly smart and has thousands of books. He's gentlemanly and loves his mother. There are a million reasons why I want him as my boyfriend, reasons I mapped out in even an earlier post before I had even seen his property. I wish more people would acknowledge that. The money - in whatever form it is, I don't care - is immaterial to me.
Joaquin Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I think it was telling him u love the day u saw his family home that turned the thread a bit. But that u did that suggests u ain't no gold digger. The ones that are have far more game.
Author Drseussgrrl Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 I think it was telling him u love the day u saw his family home that turned the thread a bit. But that u did that suggests u ain't no gold digger. The ones that are have far more game. You're right. I should have started a different thread about that, if at all. And - I fully acknowledge that saying ILU is quick after a month. But well we had just banged and I was tipsy. LOL I recognize it's probably more infatuation at this point than anything, but what's done is done and I haven't said those words to anyone since my ex fiance. And neither one of us feel weird about it. 1
newmoon Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I don't know what the big deal is about one's wealth vs. poverty. If you like one another and you're happy together, what difference does it make? I have seen people run from another party because of just such surroundings and material things. It's not on the part of the wealthy party, it's on the part of the less wealthy party. Life is complicated. it does make a difference. my (ex) bf is on section 8/food stamps/social assistance and my dad left me close to 1mil when he died. there was always a big discrepancy between us even before the inheritance. it meant i could travel all over the world/take trips and he could not. it meant i grew up having everything and he did not (and partners get jealous of that, regardless of what they say) - they envy 'an easy life.' when we go into stores i look and higher end things initially and he has to look to price. the dates he picked were always lower-cost/free and we struggled to go to nicer places (like theater, plays shows) because he doesn't earn enough to cover costs all the time. so, yeah, technically it doesn't matter, but it does :-) the life of both partners suffers a bit because the poor(er) person really feels distanced and unable to keep up, and the rich(er) person feels like they have to 'come down' a level for the partner. it matters.
Author Drseussgrrl Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 it does make a difference. my (ex) bf is on section 8/food stamps/social assistance and my dad left me close to 1mil when he died. there was always a big discrepancy between us even before the inheritance. it meant i could travel all over the world/take trips and he could not. it meant i grew up having everything and he did not (and partners get jealous of that, regardless of what they say) - they envy 'an easy life.' when we go into stores i look and higher end things initially and he has to look to price. the dates he picked were always lower-cost/free and we struggled to go to nicer places (like theater, plays shows) because he doesn't earn enough to cover costs all the time. so, yeah, technically it doesn't matter, but it does :-) the life of both partners suffers a bit because the poor(er) person really feels distanced and unable to keep up, and the rich(er) person feels like they have to 'come down' a level for the partner. it matters. Well that's certainly an extreme example. As I've said - I make my own money and take care of myself. If he wanted to jet off to Cancun tomorrow, I could pay my own way no problem.
newmoon Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Well that's certainly an extreme example. As I've said - I make my own money and take care of myself. If he wanted to jet off to Cancun tomorrow, I could pay my own way no problem. yeah, and when it's reversed, women with money $ than the man it's more complicated because it buggers with their manliness or whatever. someone wealthy can go on trip after trip after trip and miss work, and someone with less funds might only be able to do it every so often/once a year because their funds are tighter. hopefully the discrepancy isn't so big you guys won't be able to manage it.
mesmerized Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 How you deal with that is you break up with him and send his number to me. Problem solved. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 we had just banged and I was tipsy. LOL That's hot (in the words of Paris Hilton)
charlietheginger Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 his family may not be rich they could have had the house Passed down to them and never actually paid for it. Even if his parents have money does not mean he has any Money he could be sponging off his parents... Lets be real about it his parents may be well off but It could be 40 50yrs untill they die off even then does Not mean he will get money it could all be used up On parents medical expenses
jennifersmith Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 OP, some people here can be real haters and like to insult people, ignore them, you don't need validation from these people anyway! If your bf can go online to find dates, he won't have mind the social classes of his dates as much. Moreover, it might be the case that he doesn't rely on his family to provide for him as much even though he could have come from money. Don't worry about it and let things develop naturally. Trust me, it's easier to date someone (ESP man) with money than without.
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