Alex8080 Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 (edited) Hello everyone …. I have a problem and it is ruining my life . I don’t wanna be long , I just wanna make sure that I include all the details . I met a girl that I liked and talked to her about it , she said she liked me too but she cannot be with me because her family will never allow her to get married to someone from a different ethnicity so she cannot be in a relationship that she knows exactly how it’ll end , as a choice between me and her family . so I kept on trying over and over ad nauseam , I really fell for her so hard , I believe that it’s either her or no one else in my life. I really love her .after she explained why we cannot be together many many times , I kept on trying because I didn’t want to give up easily but that gave the opposite effect as it kind of drove her away and made her rejection much stronger , I really swallowed my pride and dignity and spilled my guts and told her exactly how I feel and how she became my whole world . but that made her get to the point in which she told me that she doesn’t love me and will never do . so I cut off all communication with her completely because I don’t know what to do and I felt like my countless attempts , instead of making her respond , drove her away. So I said that it is and for now I cannot communicate with her anymore but I still madly in love with her , Does she like me but cannot be with me because of her family or she simply wants to get rid of me ? she kept insisting that she wants to be friends but I cannot be friends with her while I feel something else inside. PLEASE , tell me how to handle this horrible rejection Edited August 3, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs and removed bold text
Carenth Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 First step would be accepting that while you have feelings for her, she does not feel the same way about you. Begging and pleading will not change the situation, you are not entitled to a relationship with someone just because you like them. Unrequited love sucks but this is the truth in the matter. She has the right to say she is not interested the reason does not really matter. You just have to accept that and move on. If you can't accept being friends with her then you need to cut her out of your life. Don't pretend to be her friend in hoping she will change her mind later. 1
Author Alex8080 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 (edited) Thanks for your answer but is there anyway that I can win her ? or change her mind ? was all what she told me just reflects her not being interested at all or can she really be suffering from her circumstances ? Edited August 3, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed bolded formatting
soccerrprp Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 The most obvious thing is to NOT COMMUNICATE with her about her feelings. If you can't be friends, then move on. You can see that the more desperate you sounded, the more she pushed away. In your case, LESS is MORE. Many people are not going to sacrifice their families for a relationship. She won't. She may be saddened by the fact that her family will not accept you, but she is quite aware that she will likely find someone else that the family will accept thus allowing her to be more free about that relationship. YOU need to move on and try to forget about her. She is not the whole world! You are heavily infatuated right now and it will pass after some time. 1
Quiet Storm Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 It doesnt matter if its because of her family or not. Either way, she's not gojng to be with you. She keeps telling you this. Believe her. She is getting annoyed because you are not respecting her. You need to accept it and move on. Life is not fair sometimes. You will be ok. 1
Carenth Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 (edited) Thanks for your answer but is there anyway that I can win her ? or change her mind ? was all what she told me just reflects her not being interested at all or can she really be suffering from her circumstances ? No. Stop thinking like this. She has told you how she feels. Accept it and move on the reason she is getting annoyed is because you don't respect her decision. Which means you don't respect her as a person. Edited August 3, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Alex8080 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 (edited) I do know that I sound pathetic , but it's because I really love her and I don't know what to do , I am really confused as trying to forget her seems to be impossible , I cannot believe that I care this much about her and she treated me this way . I just want to know that there is really no other way because at this point letting go for me is like giving up on the girl of my dreams , I just want to feel like I did everything I could .... I don't wanna look back and think maybe if I persisted I could have been with her . Edited August 3, 2013 by Alex8080
Author Alex8080 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 The most obvious thing is to NOT COMMUNICATE with her about her feelings. If you can't be friends, then move on. You can see that the more desperate you sounded, the more she pushed away. In your case, LESS is MORE. Many people are not going to sacrifice their families for a relationship. She won't. She may be saddened by the fact that her family will not accept you, but she is quite aware that she will likely find someone else that the family will accept thus allowing her to be more free about that relationship. YOU need to move on and try to forget about her. She is not the whole world! You are heavily infatuated right now and it will pass after some time. This is a good advice but does that mean that if I kept my distance and disappeared from her life she might re-think her decision ?
CrystalCastles Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Don't you have any pride and self-respect? Stop grovelling. There are so many people on this planet. This girl won't be the only person you'll ever be in love with. It seems devastating right now because it's happening at this moment, but in 5 years you'll be running after someone else, and this girl won't be in your thoughts at all.
Author Alex8080 Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Don't you have any pride and self-respect? Stop grovelling. There are so many people on this planet. This girl won't be the only person you'll ever be in love with. It seems devastating right now because it's happening at this moment, but in 5 years you'll be running after someone else, and this girl won't be in your thoughts at all. I thank you for your sheer honesty but you're right , as I said , I swallowed my pride and disregarded myself respect , I thought that it is something that I should give up to make love prosper .
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