conf Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 I met my ex-gf 6 years ago (I was 19 and she was 17). The first year we were just friends. After the first year she expressed that she had romantical feelings for me and our relationship passed to the next level Our relationship was amazing (at least for me :S). We were so compatible, cared about each other, never being selfish, showing understanding, no jealousy, HIGH LEVEL OF TRUST, being best friends. We had only two arguments during our relationship wich was result of high pressure (studying for really important exams) but after a couple of days things were fine. A month ago, she told that we have to talk. I met her and she told me that she wanted to break up. I was shocked! She told me that i am a really nice guy and it is not my fault! Because of the shock i was not in position to discuss it and left with many questions. I met her the next day in order to discuss it. She told then that her needs had changed through the years. When she was younger, she was sure that we gonna get married but that is not what she want now. She was thinking about the break up for the last year. She also told me that she may regret it. She thinks that i am very good partner and wishes to had met me later on her life but she is not right to have me waiting. She told me tha she does not want to be a classic flip-flop couple and get rid of her things left in my house. She also denied staying friends!!! (lame by me! ) I have to mentioned that during the conversation was very cold and i cried a lot (shame but that i felt...) What the underlying meaning of the things she said? Why not be friends as it would be easier for her? Why to get rid of her things? Why she was staying with me for a whole year in which she was wanting to break up? What does it mean that she does not want to be a classic flip flop couple, does she still care?? And more important what does it mean that She thinks that i am very good partner and wishes to had met me later on her life? Is she trying to be nice and does not hurt me or she has feelings and she is confused? After the conversation ended we hugged and wished good luck. From then i am on NC because i respect her decision, although it hurts (A LOT!). Yesterday, i met a good friend of her and she told me that she loves me but she want to feel in love again and if it meant to be it wil be. However, I cant blame her because i understand that we are young... The worst thing is that the door is not totally closed... As there is hope it hurts more... (The hope there is because she told me that she may regret it and wishes to had met me later on her life which is very easy as we wad many mutual friends) I know that every relationship has ups and downs. Maybe on the road we made many mistakes. I think that i have become boring and maybe she felt neglected because the last 6 months i was stressed to find a job... I think from her side that she must communicated more if these were her worries... I think that we were emotionally imature and the time apart will make us grow. I would love to have a second chance with her in the future as mature partners and maybe this is gonna be our last relationship Is there any hope or the wish for second chance is vain? Could the time apart lead to break what we had? Is this relevant with GIGS? In the hypothetical scenario that she returns back how to know that she is back because she want me and not because she feels lonely or she want a confidence boost? I m scared that in the future i may hurt like that again
xanitus Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 this is probably GIG's and the same thing happened with me, read my past threads you'll see the similarity and the advice I was given applies to you as well. You have to break free and let them do what they want. It's like the saying "if you love someone let them go, if they come back to you they're yours if they don't they never were". She may have not completely given you closure and thats because she probably still feels something for you. That doesn't mean she will ever come back. It's a case of this is not the right time for me to have a relationship and I want other things from life at this point. Take time to move on, do not contact her. NEVER initiate contact. Move onto other things. Let her go.
Inviv_girl Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 No one knows what is exactly going on. As you both still young this is probably GIGS. Maybe also third person involved, we never know. Show her you respect her decision and move on. It is not as easy as I type it, I know.. as I also experience heart break. But try to make yourself happy as much as you can and dont wait for her return because she might come back she might never! She left you at the first place, she likely can leave again if both of you get back together. Just be wise and aware of the out come in the future.
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