miklos Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Hello, I am currently in Los Angeles and he is in San Francisco. A month ago, he bought me a flight ticket so I can go visit him tomorrow. I go to school in San Francisco and have seen him twice already. We texted for the last two months while I was in Spain. Should I go? Am I just a booty call? If he cared about me, should he pick me up from airport or should I just head to his place? I do like him but our feelings for each other has burned out I guess. I would just be there for the weekend. I go back to school in 3 weeks.
CherryT Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Have you continued talking? Do you have plans? I'm in a LDR and my SO always 1000% picks me up. You don't have to be a booty call and sleep with him. But if you don't feel comfortable... it would've been nice of you to tell him earlier - so he could cancel the ticket and get a credit and not lose the money. Is he expecting you to hang out with him this weekend?
ChessPieceFace Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 If someone buys you a plane ticket, you want to go and you trust them, why wouldn't you go. I can't imagine someone just buying a plane ticket without it being agreed upon. I don't live in that world.
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Chances are you're going to visit it seems like...unless there's really something that doesn't feel right about this, however he's going to be expecting/hoping for an intimate weekend...and since you haven't established any dating regiment that is becoming anything serious at this point...I wouldn't say you are a FWB, but you definitely could be...I don't know how interested this guy is in you, but from the sound of it there doesn't seem to be much chemistry going back and forth or else this might be more of a no-brainer for you...especially since you go to school out there and have friends, not like you don't have any options to move around on your own right? you might want to setup a ride or have a plan in case you want to leave If you do go even though it's just for the weekend. He should also pick you up, bold of him to buy you a flight back to San fran...you should of made your boundaries/expectations clear before accepting the invitation, did you tell him at the time you would accept or was he just willing to gamble?
Author miklos Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Have you continued talking? Do you have plans? I'm in a LDR and my SO always 1000% picks me up. You don't have to be a booty call and sleep with him. But if you don't feel comfortable... it would've been nice of you to tell him earlier - so he could cancel the ticket and get a credit and not lose the money. Is he expecting you to hang out with him this weekend? Ill go. I just dont want to be a FWB or just a bootycall. Yeah he is expecting me to hang out with him. I am assuming that I am sleeping at his place.
Author miklos Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 If someone buys you a plane ticket, you want to go and you trust them, why wouldn't you go. I can't imagine someone just buying a plane ticket without it being agreed upon. I don't live in that world. Yeah I should just go. I shouldnt be nervous. He bought it without me ever giving an opinion haha
Author miklos Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Chances are you're going to visit it seems like...unless there's really something that doesn't feel right about this, however he's going to be expecting/hoping for an intimate weekend...and since you haven't established any dating regiment that is becoming anything serious at this point...I wouldn't say you are a FWB, but you definitely could be...I don't know how interested this guy is in you, but from the sound of it there doesn't seem to be much chemistry going back and forth or else this might be more of a no-brainer for you...especially since you go to school out there and have friends, not like you don't have any options to move around on your own right? you might want to setup a ride or have a plan in case you want to leave If you do go even though it's just for the weekend. He should also pick you up, bold of him to buy you a flight back to San fran...you should of made your boundaries/expectations clear before accepting the invitation, did you tell him at the time you would accept or was he just willing to gamble? he was willing to gamble. I ll stay with him and if i get uncomfortable then I would just leave to friends house. I think he expects sex. Idk. Maybe he just wants to spend time with me.
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 he was willing to gamble. I ll stay with him and if i get uncomfortable then I would just leave to friends house. I think he expects sex. Idk. Maybe he just wants to spend time with me. You're not really making yourself clear or communicating much yourself either, you're just leaving it all on his plate to try and catch you...which obviously he's going to make a move on sex once you get there...does he just want to "spend time with you"....ehhh, a guy doesn't buy you a ticket to stay the weekend at his house so you can paint each others toe nails and watch Sex and the city if you get my meaning. Unless you open up your mouth and express these concerns to him, chances are he's going to try and stick it in and you'll be like a little girl clutching your hands together waiting for the tooth fairy, hoping there's a dollar under your pillow in the morning...you've got to speak up, not just go along for the ride, otherwise a guy will likely take you for being easy and then slam you into the FWB category just because the challenge is over and gamble paid off. 1
ja123 Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 My hunch is this man is a lot older than you, and way more experienced. Be careful. Also, why put yourself in the position where you might feel obligated to have sex just to "pay" for your plane ticket? Are you into this guy? Do you find him hot? And do you want to sleep with him? I'm going out on a limb here, but ... My feeling is no you don't, from what you've written. And maybe you're just going along with it because of the attention and novelty of someone having bought you a plane ticket, and also the possibility that this guy could be a sugar daddy or someone who you might feel can guide you or mentor you in other areas of your life. But your spidey sense is telling you something different. 1
FitChick Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 You've seen him twice already and you have friends in SF. If things go wrong, stay with friends.
CarrieT Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 I am assuming that I am sleeping at his place. Bad assumption. Get a hotel... Let him be a gentleman and don't be a booty call. Get to know him in person but do NOT go to his place. Meet him in a public place!
CherryT Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Bad assumption. Get a hotel... Let him be a gentleman and don't be a booty call. Get to know him in person but do NOT go to his place. Meet him in a public place! Agreed. The first time my SO flew to me, he got a hotel room without even asking and stayed there. He wanted to respect me. I also didn't hesitate when he dropped me off the first night. But we both were pretty sure that we liked each other. And after that night we were exclusive the next day. I get a feeling you both don't express what you're feeling. Like you have a sense he likes you, but you don't seem to have a clue whether he actually likes you. You haven't told him what it is you want either... after seeing each other 2 times already. My SO and I only met once on vacation (for a few hours only) and we both were going home the next day... we talked for a full 2 months before he came to visit me for the first time. But even with that one encounter it was pretty clear. I also expressed early on that I'm not a "fling" type of girl and that I don't mess around until I'm exclusive. You don't have to be a FWB or a Booty Call. You do have control over your own actions. Find a secondary place to stay just so you don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to do.
Author miklos Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 My hunch is this man is a lot older than you, and way more experienced. Be careful. Also, why put yourself in the position where you might feel obligated to have sex just to "pay" for your plane ticket? Are you into this guy? Do you find him hot? And do you want to sleep with him? I'm going out on a limb here, but ... My feeling is no you don't, from what you've written. And maybe you're just going along with it because of the attention and novelty of someone having bought you a plane ticket, and also the possibility that this guy could be a sugar daddy or someone who you might feel can guide you or mentor you in other areas of your life. But your spidey sense is telling you something different. He is 28 and I am 21. Yeah i am i think hes cute and I have liked talking with him the past two months. I do want to sleep with him. I just have this feeling that I am scared of going in a new relationship and then I dont really know if he likes likes me im just nervous
Author miklos Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Agreed. The first time my SO flew to me, he got a hotel room without even asking and stayed there. He wanted to respect me. I also didn't hesitate when he dropped me off the first night. But we both were pretty sure that we liked each other. And after that night we were exclusive the next day. I get a feeling you both don't express what you're feeling. Like you have a sense he likes you, but you don't seem to have a clue whether he actually likes you. You haven't told him what it is you want either... after seeing each other 2 times already. My SO and I only met once on vacation (for a few hours only) and we both were going home the next day... we talked for a full 2 months before he came to visit me for the first time. But even with that one encounter it was pretty clear. I also expressed early on that I'm not a "fling" type of girl and that I don't mess around until I'm exclusive. You don't have to be a FWB or a Booty Call. You do have control over your own actions. Find a secondary place to stay just so you don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to do. That is so true. I dont have a clue whether he actually likes me. I havent told him what I want either. I want to have sex but also spend time with him and just get to know him more. We already had sex twice the last two times I saw him. thats what I am scared of. That I am just a booty call and my stupid self is actually flying from LA to SF.
darkmoon Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 (edited) if he is not your boyf, then you are booty, you should both be comfortable enough to talk this trip over Edited August 3, 2013 by darkmoon
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