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Should I ask out my swimming instructor?


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  • Author
Posted

Just tried calling and got the voicemail. Any other suggestions? You say you would have done it no matter how nervous you are and I was telling myself the same thing. It is so easy when you are not in the moment. But god dammit, I was going to faint man!

Posted
Just tried calling and got the voicemail. Any other suggestions? You say you would have done it no matter how nervous you are and I was telling myself the same thing. It is so easy when you are not in the moment. But god dammit, I was going to faint man!

 

 

Look, I know how you felt. Honestly. I felt the same thing a few times.

What you felt, although its intimidating - is innocent. Those sensations are from all the stress hormones and adrenaline rushing into your bloodstream and it causes a barrage of symptoms.

 

Yes, its easy to say that when not in the moment. However, learn not to let yourself get so worked up. Getting to the point of fainting (you were probably hyperventilating) is a little extreme.

 

Other suggestions: Yes. Keep calling every so often until you get somebody on the line and ask for her.

  • Author
Posted

I wasn't hyperventilating. Just an insane heart rate and that. The worst part is how sure I am of her saying yes. Also, she IS there next week but only until 3. Which I can't do lessons that early. I just don't want to keep thinking about this. I really did work myself up way too much about it for weeks. This sucks.

Posted
I wasn't hyperventilating. Just an insane heart rate and that. The worst part is how sure I am of her saying yes. Also, she IS there next week but only until 3. Which I can't do lessons that early. I just don't want to keep thinking about this. I really did work myself up way too much about it for weeks. This sucks.

 

Tachycardia is the prime symptom of the stress response. No biggie.

 

She is there next week? That's fantastic news. You've got some room to plan if need be. You need to turn your situation around. If you can't get a hold of her tonight by phone, you have next week. Did you speak to someone there earlier?

 

Stop thinking and act. Action counts. Thinking doesn't do squat. Think, decide, commit and act. Please, do yourself a favor and don't let this fade. You could have a new friend. No guarantees obviously, but you never know. You two may hit it off greatly. ;)

  • Author
Posted

I got the voicemail earlier. Tomorrow on my way to work, I will drive by and if her car is there, I will stop in. She said she was off tomorrow but I know sometimes she just goes in to do the scheduling. I just feel so disappointed. Honestly, I was getting strong vibes from her tonight of a potential interest. I just can't believe that despite this, I couldn't ask a simple god damn question.

Posted
I got the voicemail earlier. Tomorrow on my way to work, I will drive by and if her car is there, I will stop in. She said she was off tomorrow but I know sometimes she just goes in to do the scheduling. I just feel so disappointed. Honestly, I was getting strong vibes from her tonight of a potential interest. I just can't believe that despite this, I couldn't ask a simple god damn question.

 

Alright, nice to hear it! Gee, you did seem to have a wide-open shot earlier today. But you've got more chances coming down the pipe.

 

You could've gotten caught up because of the signals she was giving which confirmed your presumptions and it made you go over the edge. You said you got "strong vibes" from her - like what? Tell me what lead up to the climax.

 

Its hard. I myself have some difficulty with talking to girls. I'm in a situation like yours except the gal I like is apparently not around. This is why I'm following you closely. I'm hoping the best for you. I'm trying to offer as much advice and motivation ( and common sense) as possible.

  • Author
Posted

Well she had mentioned that she was glad she had the next 3 days off. And just seemed interested in talking to me tonight. Like I said before though, who knows if these are signs? I will see if she is there tomorrow. If not, I will call and ask ask on the phone. But I was really hoping to do it in person. I will ask get if she can give me a half hour lesson each week at 3 cause I could do that on my lunch break. I know I had a shot earlier and words cannot describe my anger when I got in my car and drove away tonight. I just want this question asked!

  • Author
Posted

Now that I think about it too. I think one of my main fears with asking her is that she will know I am interested in her. It's stupid to think this obviously since girls like that attention. But I do notce myself thinking of ways to ask her without her thinking I am interested.

Posted

Apparently the floats never came off.

 

Oh boy...

Posted

They're called "floaties".

Posted

OMG LAME!!!!

 

How old are you!?

 

Just say "YOLO" out loud and get in there!!!

  • Author
Posted
OMG LAME!!!!

 

How old are you!?

 

Just say "YOLO" out loud and get in there!!!

 

...clearly unaware of what social anxiety is...

 

And no, I am not trying to use social anxiety as an excuse, but you really should understand how hard it is.

Posted
...clearly unaware of what social anxiety is...

 

And no, I am not trying to use social anxiety as an excuse, but you really should understand how hard it is.

 

Don't be ashamed about it.

Posted
...clearly unaware of what social anxiety is...

 

And no, I am not trying to use social anxiety as an excuse, but you really should understand how hard it is.

 

I am VERY aware...I have it too...probably worse than you.

 

I find that when I have to do something that will give me anxiety, I do the YOLO thing...it kind of shuts my anxiety off and gives me the balls I need to do what I have to do.

 

You should try it. Just wing it!

Posted
...clearly unaware of what social anxiety is...

 

And no, I am not trying to use social anxiety as an excuse, but you really should understand how hard it is.

 

I do. have social anxiety so bad I never ask anyone out. Or even put myself in a situation to be asked out. And I'm 37 years old. I'm told because I'm a female it should be easy. But it isn't.

Posted
Well she had mentioned that she was glad she had the next 3 days off. And just seemed interested in talking to me tonight.

 

If she is giving off signs that she has interest in talking to you, then you can at least confirm that she does enjoy talking to you. She must enjoy your company to some degree, right?

 

Like I said before though, who knows if these are signs?

 

Interpreting "signs" is a subjective matter - to a degree. Its certainly not a hard science, but you may look at it two ways:

 

Ambiguity or blatancy. Since you two have spoken with each other, if she is being pleasant whilst speaking with you, well you cannot say she likes you in a mushy-wushy way, but she may certainly look foward to conversing with you. That highlights interest.

 

Every girl is different. But in terms of social norms, albeit this is generalizing a little, if she laughs at what you say, makes eye contact, listens to you, talks in return to what you are talking to her about, smiles quite a bit - you can assert that she does like your presence. I'm not saying how likes your presence, as in casual or possibly more - but she most probably does like it, period.

 

Clearly, she seems to be acting unambiguous. Some girls, if they like someone - will not talk to them very much or even shy away, not make eye contact, not say much in return or they may even send contrarian signals. Others will become outgoing and make it somewhat clear they like you. This is dependent on personality traits.

 

By "like" I do not mean romantic, but civil.

 

So, what's she like? What kind of a person is she? All I know is that you like her, but yet you have given no one here any clue as to the way she is in terms of her character and such.

Posted

Give me her number, I'll ask her out for you.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted

Well I stopped by this morning cause her car was there. But the office was locked. I've called a few times but I get the voicemail.

Posted
Well I stopped by this morning cause her car was there. But the office was locked. I've called a few times but I get the voicemail.

 

Good for you!

 

I say keep doing this until you get to her. I think.

  • Author
Posted

Ok guys. I got her on the phone and asked her. You want to try and analyze her response now for me??

Posted
Ok guys. I got her on the phone and asked her. You want to try and analyze her response now for me??

 

What did she say...?

Posted
Ok guys. I got her on the phone and asked her. You want to try and analyze her response now for me??

 

Nice job!

 

The suspense is killing me...

Posted

I'm guessing it didnt go too great :(

Posted

Yeah, the suspense is palpable for sure. I'm curious.

Posted

I've been following this thread and I'm curious too. From his post it seems like he probably got a "not really yes, not really no" response.

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