Author 365daysgone Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Sorry. It's an infatuation. Not an obsession. And I realize the potential of it not going my way and I am ok with that. I just don't want to NOT be able to do something so simple. As for what signs she has given me...maybe none. Maybe me over analyzing small things. Who knows? But like everyone says...I will not know unless I try. Right? Tonight is not my last lesson. How many of you recemmend not doing it because its not my last lesson?
Babolat Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 How many of you recemmend not doing it because its not my last lesson? This one is your call. If she says no, will you be copmfortable returning for your remaining lessons? If not, wait, if yes, then go for it, why wait, right?
Skyraider829 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Sorry. It's an infatuation. Not an obsession. And I realize the potential of it not going my way and I am ok with that. I just don't want to NOT be able to do something so simple. As for what signs she has given me...maybe none. Maybe me over analyzing small things. Who knows? But like everyone says...I will not know unless I try. Right? Tonight is not my last lesson. How many of you recemmend not doing it because its not my last lesson? There's nothing wrong with infatuation. I see where you are coming from and the fact that you're okay with the outcome going either way is great. No signs? There are two possibilities: She has given some indications, but you haven't picked up on them. The other is that you are misinterpreting her indications as something more. Has she done anything that sticks out? Some girls give hints, and I'm sure some do not. Right. You need to give this a shot. Hmmm...Doing it on your last lesson would be "easy" since if it didn't end up with her confirming your offer, then there may be no awkwardness. Well there shouldn't be any awkwardness anyway since she's just your swimming instructor. I am not too sure about that waiting until your last lesson. Does it really matter? I wouldn't count the days if you know what I mean. Find an oppurtunity, chat with her a little and then ask about drinks.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 She has asked me how my weekend was. Ha. But I am not good at picking up on this stuff anyways. Plus she is my instructor so maybe she doesn't want to show signs because it is unprofessional? Who knows. We could guess all day long. We will find out based on her answer tonight I guess.
Skyraider829 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 She has asked me how my weekend was. Ha. But I am not good at picking up on this stuff anyways. Plus she is my instructor so maybe she doesn't want to show signs because it is unprofessional? Who knows. We could guess all day long. We will find out based on her answer tonight I guess. LOL, I'm no good at picking up girl signals either. Well, some are easy, some aren't. True point - she could just be acting professional as she should. I'm eager to hear the outcome of this. You're confident about approaching her, right?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 A possibility with all this hemming and hawing or his proposal comes out forced and awkward. He cares too much which rarely leads to success. Man. Don't say this! You're REALLY gonna make me screw it up by saying stuff like this.
Divasu Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 C'mon OP. You can do this! You can't swim around in arm floats forever. You'll feel better after you do regardless if she agrees or not. Swim little fishy, swim!!!
Skyraider829 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Man. Don't say this! You're REALLY gonna make me screw it up by saying stuff like this. He's got a point. Do not be hard on yourself. 1
eddyctv Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 If you cant be funny and outgoing, you shouldn't bother. Jeez at least come up with some swimming jokes or something.
ITw Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Alright! He's actually going to ask her out tonight. You still are right ?
eddyctv Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Alright! He's actually going to ask her out tonight. You still are right ? I'm guessing nothing happened and he's too ashamed to post here today.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry guys. It's over. Last lesson was tonight. I didnt post anything yesterday because I tried creating conversation with her after my lesson yesterday and it just didn't flow into me asking her to a coffee. And I wanted to come back with good news. I was going to ask after my lesson just now, but I started panicking and then we were talking about lessons for next week and I felt like I was going to have a god damn heart attack. I went into the change room and was going to go and ring the bell at the front desk and ask her but I felt worse. I tried breathing exercises but they didn't work. I walked back into the washroom to regain myself, but I couldn't talk. Ive never felt this overwhelming feeling before. Im sorry guys. Social anxiety wins. Edited August 15, 2013 by 365daysgone
Skyraider829 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I'm sorry guys. It's over. Last lesson was tonight. I didnt post anything yesterday because I tried creating conversation with her after my lesson yesterday and it just didn't flow into me asking her to a coffee. And I wanted to come back with good news. I was going to ask after my lesson just now, but I started panicking and then we were talking about lessons for next week and I felt like I was going to have a god damn heart attack. I went into the change room and was going to go and ring the bell at the front desk and ask her but I felt worse. I tried breathing exercises but they didn't work. I walked back into the washroom to regain myself, but I couldn't talk. Ive never felt this overwhelming feeling before. Im sorry guys. Social anxiety wins. GET BACK IN THERE. Are you kidding? You cannot let social anxiety win you over - how are you ever going to get a girlfriend, hmmm? Are you seriously going to let this grow to such a proportion that you cannot even suggest a casual outing for coffee? You originally were making no big deal out of this. You've turned a motehill into a mountain. A "mountain" the size of Mt. Rainier. In reality it is just a mere, innocent question. You are blowing this out of proportion my friend, you honestly are. This girl is apoarently putting zero pressure on you. Your irrationality is the source of your apprehension. Solve your problem and get with it. Don't let yourself down man. So, get back in the game. Be objective. Ignore your irrational mind. Stop worrying that much about it. Some apprehension is normal but what you've described is a little over the top. If you let this slip, you're going to be sore and sad wondering "what if". Pluck up the courage and ask that girl out. No matter what the outcome, at you tried. At least have proven to yourself that you can do it. Maybe she will just take your number - if so, awesome. You can set a date layer if you desire. No offense, but DON'T be a wimp. 1
Author 365daysgone Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 I was telling myself it was no big deal. I was relaxed with her tonight. Something happened to my body. What do I do now? The last lesson is over. What the hell am I supposed to do?
Skyraider829 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I was telling myself it was no big deal. I was relaxed with her tonight. Something happened to my body. What do I do now? The last lesson is over. What the hell am I supposed to do? What are you supposed to do? Get in your car, go find her and talk with her. ASK HER. Ask her about coffee, tell her you'd love to get to know her, pay her a sincere compliment that you actually, really mean like how good of a swimming instructor she is, how thorough and well-thought she is with her students and how much you have enjoyed your lessons thanks to her teaching you. Make it known you want to have an outing with her. Dude, get a grip and just flat-out DO IT. Maybe she'll say yes, maybe she'll say no. Either way, you will gain from it. If she instead just gives you her number, then set a date later. At least you have some form of contact. Phone number, Facebook, Twitter - whatever. Be objective about this. Tell your irrational side to shut the hell up. Stand tall, keep your chin up and give this a shot.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 What about calling the business right now? If she is still there..?
Skyraider829 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 What the hell am I supposed to do? It sounds to me like you have definitely realized where you screwed up. Now you're back-peddling like mad. As to what happened to your body; Well, its called flooding yourself with catacholamines. It triggers rapid heart rate, higher ventilation and sweating, as well as jitters and shakes. Its the flight or fight response of the human body. Its a defense we're all endowed with. But its "out-dated" to a degree.
Skyraider829 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 What about calling the business right now? If she is still there..? Fine idea man, call and find out. But, I say ask her IN PERSON.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 I just need to know if you think it is ok to call the business right now and tell her I didn't ask because she is so busy, but that I am calling right now because I figure "what the hell"
Author 365daysgone Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 Fine idea man, call and find out. But, I say ask her IN PERSON. I don't have lessons with her anymore! You want me to fid out where de lives and show up on her doorstep? She's done for the summer.
Skyraider829 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I don't have lessons with her anymore! You want me to fid out where de lives and show up on her doorstep? She's done for the summer. So its only a summertime deal? Get her number. Either that, or get down to the swim center and find her. I see two options as of right now.
Skyraider829 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I just need to know if you think it is ok to call the business right now and tell her I didn't ask because she is so busy, but that I am calling right now because I figure "what the hell" Of course its okay to call the business, why wouldn't it be? No, don't think of it as "what the hell". Just ask. Ask it like you are asking about what to have for dinner. In other words, be easy and civil about it.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 So its only a summertime deal? Get her number. Either that, or get down to the swim center and find her. I see two options as of right now. Dude, it's just a business out of a ladies house. It's near impossible to go back there just to ask her out without others being around. The phone idea is all that Ive got. Do you think it's ok? It's been 2 hours now since my lesson ended, so I need you to tell me if it is weird or not.
Skyraider829 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Dude, it's just a business out of a ladies house. It's near impossible to go back there just to ask her out without others being around. The phone idea is all that Ive got. Do you think it's ok? It's been 2 hours now since my lesson ended, so I need you to tell me if it is weird or not. No, it is NOT weird. I repeat, NOT weird. Call her up. Stop hesitating. I would have already called. I would've asked in person, no matter how nervous I was. You can do it.
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