Author 365daysgone Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 Well, it looks like I will not be waiting until the last lesson, because it looks lik it is going to take me several more weeks to learn and she will not be there for certain weeks, so I am just going to ask next week...Wednesday or Thursday. I think it's ok though...it's just a coffee. It is just a casual question. I don't see why it is such a big deal. Also, we are both really relaxed around each other now at this point too, so I think it should be ok. Thoughts?
Lansing Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 You are overthinking it now. You are right, it it just a coffee... Ask her... Trust me, regret is much worse than any possible rejection. I think about those times I didn't make an effort to ask for a number/etc vs. the ones that didn't return my call back.
Skyraider829 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Well, it looks like I will not be waiting until the last lesson, because it looks lik it is going to take me several more weeks to learn and she will not be there for certain weeks, so I am just going to ask next week...Wednesday or Thursday. I think it's ok though...it's just a coffee. It is just a casual question. I don't see why it is such a big deal. Also, we are both really relaxed around each other now at this point too, so I think it should be ok. Thoughts? You're right. Its just a coffee, and that is completely casual. The reality is, its honestly not a big deal, but from one's point of view, in the personal sense it can be. If you're both relaxed around one another, all the power to you. I would assume you would get a positive response out of her, but you'll have to wait and see. What do you think she would say to you about asking her out for coffee? What's she like - personality-wise?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 You're right. Its just a coffee, and that is completely casual. The reality is, its honestly not a big deal, but from one's point of view, in the personal sense it can be. If you're both relaxed around one another, all the power to you. I would assume you would get a positive response out of her, but you'll have to wait and see. What do you think she would say to you about asking her out for coffee? What's she like - personality-wise? I'm honestly thinking she will say that she is real busy (which I know is usually assumed to be taken as a 'no') but she actually is really busy. She works mon-sat, 9am-10pm. So, it is true. So, I think she will say that, or "umm...sure". She is very nice personality-wise, so I think as long as I am relaxed then it should be ok.
Skyraider829 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I'm honestly thinking she will say that she is real busy (which I know is usually assumed to be taken as a 'no') but she actually is really busy. She works mon-sat, 9am-10pm. So, it is true. So, I think she will say that, or "umm...sure". She is very nice personality-wise, so I think as long as I am relaxed then it should be ok. That is one damn busy schedule, whoa. She's swamped, LOL. If she says no, it could be because of such a busy agenda. But you've got nothing to lose. You can't win without at least trying. You never know, the fact she is so busy could have her eager to looking foward to some type of break. Perhaps a coffee date with a kind gent would do the trick nicely. I hope it plays out positively. 1
Author 365daysgone Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 That is one damn busy schedule, whoa. She's swamped, LOL. If she says no, it could be because of such a busy agenda. But you've got nothing to lose. You can't win without at least trying. You never know, the fact she is so busy could have her eager to looking foward to some type of break. Perhaps a coffee date with a kind gent would do the trick nicely. I hope it plays out positively. Well the lessons have died down a bit so she isn't working nearly that much this week. Do you think that it would be a bad idea to say "would you like to go for a coffee" and then right after say "I know you're really busy, but I figured I'd ask anyways." Cause if she is going to use being busy as a way of saying "no" then I might be cornering her by saying that. What do you think?
c.jude Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Well the lessons have died down a bit so she isn't working nearly that much this week. Do you think that it would be a bad idea to say "would you like to go for a coffee" and then right after say "I know you're really busy, but I figured I'd ask anyways." Cause if she is going to use being busy as a way of saying "no" then I might be cornering her by saying that. What do you think? Dude, just ask her out. " Hey, wanna catch up for a cup of coffee?" Straight and to the point. If she really likes you, she should make enough time to grab some coffee with you for Christ's sake. If not, at least you can say you tried. Worst comes to worst, you at least know how to swim now. Good luck.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 Alright. No more questions from me about it. I'll ask this week and let you guys know how it goes. Wish me luck!
Skyraider829 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Well the lessons have died down a bit so she isn't working nearly that much this week. Do you think that it would be a bad idea to say "would you like to go for a coffee" and then right after say "I know you're really busy, but I figured I'd ask anyways." Cause if she is going to use being busy as a way of saying "no" then I might be cornering her by saying that. What do you think? By acknowledging her loaded schedule, you could be showing her that you're aware of and consider it of what she has to do. Its not like you're pushing the date on to her like you say. Generally, have the intent of taking her out but be easy-going about it. Tell her you can both talk about swimming technique.
Skyraider829 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Alright. No more questions from me about it. I'll ask this week and let you guys know how it goes. Wish me luck! Best of luck!
ScreamingTrees Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Hoping you actually do it.. Don't make it awkward, don't apologize, don't put the word "weird" into it because it's rarely ever weird to ask someone out unless you're doing or wearing something ridiculous while asking, doesn't matter if you know them like a best pal or not.. If you're attracted, you go after what you're attracted to. It takes a pair to ask a stranger out, and reach out to someone, don't let anyone else belittle you for that. They're no better than you. They're either also attracted and willing or not. It is what it is.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 Ok thanks guys. I am goin to ask her tonight but one more question. What do you think about me asking her DURING the lesson? That is when the conversation seems to be good, so I could do it more naturally there as opposed to waiting until after the lesson is done and then just asking out of the blue. What do you think?
Skyraider829 Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Ok thanks guys. I am goin to ask her tonight but one more question. What do you think about me asking her DURING the lesson? That is when the conversation seems to be good, so I could do it more naturally there as opposed to waiting until after the lesson is done and then just asking out of the blue. What do you think? I say it could be positive during or after the lesson. If it seems more comfortable and lax whilst in the middle of your lessons (as long as their is no sense of rush-rush) then ask her. On the flip side, after the lessons could be a good time as well, since there is no other "noise". You have her attention directly on you and there is no chance of interference where she may feel hurried or whatever. Also, it does not have to be quote "out of the blue" after the lessons; begin with some small talk about a topic she may find interesting. Good luck on this, I do hope she accepts your invitation for drinks.
Lansing Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 I will not post again in this thread until you actually ASK her... and, you were already suppose to have your last question. Casually mention liking to keep in touch with her and ask if she would be interested in grabbing a coffee or whatever. You can do it during the lesson but only if you really casually mention it. Really, stop analysing it and just ask
Author 365daysgone Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 God dammit! I chickened out. We both got out the pool and were standing there and a bit my tongue. I feel like an idiot. I think where I went wrong was that during the lesson, I kept thinking to myself that maybe I should wait until Wednesday because she looked either incredibly tired or incredibly hung-over. I'm pretty sure she was hungover. She wasn't saying much.
dasein Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 In this situation with this type of preexisting student relationship, I'd ask her for her phone number first rather than straight to a date. "Hey I've enjoyed the class, can I call you sometime?" No explanations, caveats, etc. When you ask a woman for number or out, make the question crystal clear and then shaddup, wait for a reply from her before saying anything else. If you get the number, say "Thanks Donna, will call soon! I have to go now" and that's it, no more. Good luck. 3
Skyraider829 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 "I think where I went wrong was that during the lesson, I kept thinking to myself that maybe I should wait until Wednesday because she looked either incredibly tired or incredibly hung-over. I'm pretty sure she was hungover. She wasn't saying much." Understandable. If she was tired, that was probably wise of you not to say anything. But you've got more oppurtunities around the corner, don't sweat it.
ITw Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 God dammit! I chickened out. We both got out the pool and were standing there and a bit my tongue. I feel like an idiot. I think where I went wrong was that during the lesson, I kept thinking to myself that maybe I should wait until Wednesday because she looked either incredibly tired or incredibly hung-over. I'm pretty sure she was hungover. She wasn't saying much. I've been following your thread. It's a nice story. I really hope you ask her out next time. What do you think'll make it easier for you to ask her out? You don't want to wait too long.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 I've been following your thread. It's a nice story. I really hope you ask her out next time. What do you think'll make it easier for you to ask her out? You don't want to wait too long. What'll make it easier? The fact that I have told 6 guys at work that I am going to do it. And everyone on here. The fact that I have been preparing and thinking about it for 3 weeks now and my schooling has suffered because of it. The fact that I have backed out once and regretted doing so. It's not going to happen again! Tomorrow night baby! Tomorrow night!
Author 365daysgone Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Also, I think she WANTS me to ask her out. I think she wanted to talk to me when we got out of the pool last night! I am going to keep telling myself that she wants me to so it gives me more confidence. 1
Skyraider829 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Also, I think she WANTS me to ask her out. I think she wanted to talk to me when we got out of the pool last night! I am going to keep telling myself that she wants me to so it gives me more confidence. Oh yeah man! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
ScreamingTrees Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I don't think it's healthy to be fixating on a single person, honestly. Don't hold so much stock in this, seriously, it's not going to make or break you. It's good to feel confident, but, you're asking out a single person. You have to have no expectations.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Christ, OP. When I saw that this thread started on August 2, I assumed that it went on for so long because you asked her out and were giving updates. I scrolled to the end only to find that it's actually you just obsessing over her for 6 pages (and 2 weeks).
Skyraider829 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Also, I think she WANTS me to ask her out. She wants you to ask her out? What kind of clues did she give you? If she's making it apparent that she does, then you are in for a win most likely. But what sort of indications..? I'm just wondering.
Babolat Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I had a simlar expereience last year with a personal trainer. I got one freebie for joining the club. She gave me a 2nd freebie "on her", which she later told me is not allowed but she wanted to see me again. She gave me a lot of signs/signals though so it was pretty easy to take the next step. Go with your gut...and if you don't think you are getting signs, I agree with waiting until the last lesson then ask her if she would like to meet for coffee sometime. If she says yes, toss out a date (not that day or the next either). Say something like "I really like Joe's coffee place, lets meet there". That will show her you are not just a Starbucks guy!
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