365daysgone Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Asking out my swimming instructor I've been doing swimming lessons for 2 weeks now and have become quite infatuated with my instructor. She's about my age (23). I am planning on asking her out on my last lesson. I have never really asked a girl out before so I am very scared of the idea of it. I have no reason to believe that she is even interested, but I just want to give it a shot. So 1) should I ask her out? 2) If so, how should I phrase it? 3) If I should ask her out, what lesson do I do it on? I don't really care too much if she says no, Either way I just think it would be a huge confidence boost for me, but I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. Either way, is this inappropriate? It is just a small business, and we are both young so I don't know if she would think that it would be unprofessional. I think it is just a summer job for her. Also, all I am really doing is asking her to a coffee to get to know her. It isn't as big of a deal as people seem to make it, is it? I'm not asking her for a relationship, just want to get to know her.
MomsSpaghetti Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Have you observed any indications that she likes you? During your swim lessons, have you guys engaged in any behavior that vaguely resembles flirting? Do you know whether she has a boyfriend? (You can stalk her Facebook profile to find out.)
RogerWallace111 Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Do it. If she has a boyfriend, or doesn't feel like going out with you, she can say so. 4
Author 365daysgone Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Have you observed any indications that she likes you? During your swim lessons, have you guys engaged in any behavior that vaguely resembles flirting? Do you know whether she has a boyfriend? (You can stalk her Facebook profile to find out.) No indication of being interested rom her side. But then again, I might not be either...I just want to go for a coffee and find out, you know? From what I have ask her in the lessons, I like her so far. From what I see on her profile, there is likely no boyfriend. 1
LittleTiger Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 I would ramp up the 'friendliness' during your lessons first. Try a bit of flirting perhaps and see how she responds. If she is in any way uncomfortable then back off straight away and forget it. If she teases or flirts back, ask her out.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 I would ramp up the 'friendliness' during your lessons first. Try a bit of flirting perhaps and see how she responds. If she is in any way uncomfortable then back off straight away and forget it. If she teases or flirts back, ask her out. What about if she is kind of neutral ?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 Well it looks like I might not even get a shot because the other teacher is in all week and kind of lingers around. How am I supposed to ask her with the other girl around? This sucks. I don't want to pay for more lessons just to get another chance at asking her to a coffee with me.
Maleficent Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 No indication of being interested rom her side. But then again, I might not be either...I just want to go for a coffee and find out, you know? From what I have ask her in the lessons, I like her so far. From what I see on her profile, there is likely no boyfriend. It's normal - she is your instructor. Professionalism would require her to keep the flirting non-existant. Go ahead and simply ask if she wants to go for coffee at your last session.
Maleficent Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Well it looks like I might not even get a shot because the other teacher is in all week and kind of lingers around. How am I supposed to ask her with the other girl around? This sucks. I don't want to pay for more lessons just to get another chance at asking her to a coffee with me. lol that's cute. Then, why don't you call her at the pool during one of her shifts and ask her out over the phone?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 lol that's cute. Then, why don't you call her at the pool during one of her shifts and ask her out over the phone? Any other suggestions? Should I just do it when the other girl is there? I'd really hate to do this.
Maleficent Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Any other suggestions? Should I just do it when the other girl is there? I'd really hate to do this. No really don't have to. If you ask her in person, just ask her if you can have a word with her. This would usually be the other girl's cue to vamoose.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 No really don't have to. If you ask her in person, just ask her if you can have a word with her. This would usually be the other girl's cue to vamoose. Hmm...I was trying to do it subtlety. I'm gonna be nervous enough asking her right after the lesson. Hmm
Maleficent Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Hmm...I was trying to do it subtlety. I'm gonna be nervous enough asking her right after the lesson. Hmm Well…can't help you there. If you were to catch her without her friend, she would most likely tell her as soon as she sees her anyways...
Skyraider829 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Hmm...I was trying to do it subtlety. I'm gonna be nervous enough asking her right after the lesson. It can be tough for sure. But since you are approaching her about this *casually* you shouldn't be some big bundle of nerves. Be polite and upfront about it. A casual outing can also be perceived as a nice circumstance to get to know each other on civil terms. She may not see it as romantic at all. Best of luck, and stay confident.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Hmm...I was trying to do it subtlety. I'm gonna be nervous enough asking her right after the lesson. It can be tough for sure. But since you are approaching her about this *casually* you shouldn't be some big bundle of nerves. Be polite and upfront about it. A casual outing can also be perceived as a nice circumstance to get to know each other on civil terms. She may not see it as romantic at all. Best of luck, and stay confident. And that's all it is for me anyways. I think I am just going to be completely honest with her and say "I hope this isn't weird or anything, but would you like to get a coffee with me?" And then if I get a surprised reaction just say "I just don't know you that well but I think you are nice so far, so I'd like to get to know you". What do you guys think? The more relaxed and the more honest, the better?
Lansing Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I think it is a bad idea to point anything out as potentially weird! You basically go into it with confidence of saying "hey, would you be up for a coffee to chat outside of swim lessons". or a "hey, you interested in going to such and such event" or whatever. I would not suggest making it weird. Take it as a learning experience. The thing is you might get her number... and then when you try to contact her she doesn't respond. Happens all of the time. So, don't be so dependent on getting her number/etc, it isn't the be all/end all. Come across as more natural and you will have a better chance. 1
Fraser Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I'd do it in front of the other coach - nothing like confidence. Id have my number on a card ready and then just on my way out catch her as I walk past and be like 'hey [name], I just wanted to say these lessons have been really great, I've really enjoyed them and I've really enjoyed getting to know you as well it'd be great to grab a coffee some time, if your up for it just drop me a text' and give her the card.
DreamLost Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Think of it this way: you don't lose anything even if she says no. Just go for it.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 I think it is a bad idea to point anything out as potentially weird! You basically go into it with confidence of saying "hey, would you be up for a coffee to chat outside of swim lessons". or a "hey, you interested in going to such and such event" or whatever. I would not suggest making it weird. Take it as a learning experience. The thing is you might get her number... and then when you try to contact her she doesn't respond. Happens all of the time. So, don't be so dependent on getting her number/etc, it isn't the be all/end all. Come across as more natural and you will have a better chance. Hmm...I was thinking that if I say "I hope this isn't weird" that it would make it not be weird. What about if I say "I hope I am not being too forward here, but..." ?
Lansing Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 No, don't say any "I hope" stuff... That shows a lack of confidence. Just get to the point
Author 365daysgone Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 No, don't say any "I hope" stuff... That shows a lack of confidence. Just get to the point Lol. Well I'm glad I'm asking this stuff then. What about "Hey, so since This is my last week of lessons, I was just wondering if you'd like to get a coffee with me sometime?"
Skyraider829 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 And that's all it is for me anyways. I think I am just going to be completely honest with her and say "I hope this isn't weird or anything, but would you like to get a coffee with me?" And then if I get a surprised reaction just say "I just don't know you that well but I think you are nice so far, so I'd like to get to know you". What do you guys think? The more relaxed and the more honest, the better? Totally. Be casual, relaxed and truthful. Being truthful is something that anyone and everyone (especially a woman) can respect as it shows integrity and a genuine character. Plus approaching with any easy manner will make it comfortable and not pressured.
Skyraider829 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Lol. Well I'm glad I'm asking this stuff then. What about "Hey, so since This is my last week of lessons, I was just wondering if you'd like to get a coffee with me sometime?" Actually, yeah - that is better.
davyvfr Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Lol. Well I'm glad I'm asking this stuff then. What about "Hey, so since This is my last week of lessons, I was just wondering if you'd like to get a coffee with me sometime?" This is perfect
TheGuard13 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Have you tried faking that you're drowning and need mouth to mouth, a la The Sandlot?
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