seabliss Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 So this summer back in May I started texting with this guy from Tinder. He really wanted to meet up, but I was texting with this other guy that I was more interested in so I kind of put him on the backburner. I also hated the way he texted (1 word responses, cold, etc). Anyways, things with the other guy didn't work out and the summer has been winding down (I'm in college). So months later I text the guy from Tinder saying hey. I pretty much told him that things didn't work out with the other guy and that I am interested in a summer fling. He loved the idea of me "using him for sex." So I meet up with him and he's real, extremely good-looking, and a gentleman. We hook up but don't have sex because he said he'd feel really dirty having sex with me right away. He wanted to hang the next day but said he was busy (he was leaving for a 2 week European adventure the next day). At first I freaked out thinking he was blowing me off but I really do think he was busy. We haven't talked since but he's been sending me snapchats while in Europe. I want to text him for when he gets back and ask him how Europe was. On top of that, I feel really bad that I rushed into hooking up with him. I'm upset that I blew him off in the begining but when we met, I didn't even get a chance to get to know him and that I possibly screwed up what could have been something more than just physical. If he answers my first text, I kind of want to tell him I feel bad about that night and expecting him to have sex with me upon meeting me. He's a good guy that I will most likely run into again and I don't want him to think I'm some crazy whore. I'm really really learning to control my extreme sexual energy so I can focus on building real relationships. Should I text him a text like that? I kind of want to repair any crazy thoughts he may have of me.
dasein Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I'm really really learning to control my extreme sexual energy so I can focus on building real relationships. That's all you can ask of yourself, keep establishing what your priorities are and put them in action over impulses, and you won't have to deal with any angst from situations like this going forward. In your shoes, he sounds interested enough, asking about Europe is fine when he returns, but then try letting him come around before making any heavy declarations or mea culpas. When you -meet- face to face, THEN maybe address that you really aren't looking for a mere hookup, that you just got carried away in the moment. Leave it at that, and don't let the conversation go too long into heavy or pressuring relationship talk. This guy is still essentially a stranger.
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