Oohlala21 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I've been dating my gf for about 8 months and we've spent nearly everyday together since we starting dating. At first I didn't mind but now that we are no longer in the "honeymoon phase" I just want time to myself sometimes and she refuses to understand that. I am naturally an independent person who values time alone and I almost need time to myself to reboot, but my gf gets a serious attitude when I tell her I just want to stay home or do things without her. She'll either imply that I'm cheating (which I'm not) or says I'm mean and am not affectionate anytime I want to spend time alone and guilt trips me into spending time with her. I try to compromise but she even gets mad when I'm in another room watching tv alone! This weekend is my brother's birthday and I'm going home to celebrate with my family who I have seen in couple months and honestly to get a couple days away from my gf. And of course she's pissed. I'm getting to the point where I don't really care anymore, she seems to get mad over everything I do unless I'm right up under her 24/7. I do love her but I feel like I'm constantly trying to please her. Is she too needy or is it just me?
ForeverHopeful1 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Too clingy/needy! It's her, not you. You should tell her what's really bothering you and let her know that you no longer want to play this silly game, she needs to grow up, and if she doesn't, you will have no choice but to leave and dump her. She sounds exhausting. Tell her how you feel, give her a chance to change her behaviour, and tell her it will end if you are not "allowed" to have time away from her. Good luck. 3
Keenly Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 If you like to be emotionally manipulated and guilt tripped into things, she sounds perfect for you. Just remember this is going to bleed into every single aspect of your relationship . "You don't want to move in with me? You must not love me very much." "Its your brothers birthday? You don't love me because you'd rather be with him." " suffocating and can't breathe? You must not love me because if you loved me you wouldn't need time for yourself. " She is immature, needy, manipulative, and thinks she is more important than you. 3
NJtoDC Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 How old is your GF? She sounds very immature, unreasonable, selfish, and clingy. If you want to try to work it out can you speak to someone GF respects (her mom or sister) and have them sit her down and explain the realities of the world and relationships to her? She sounds clueless to how demanding she is. 1
Woop1337 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Tiny bit your fault, you shouldn't have spent every minute with your gf during the early months. Your "togetherness", It's routine by now to her. Most of the time, you can't backtrack and break routines with women. They might accuse you of being insensitive or something to that effect. 1
Drseussgrrl Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Tiny bit your fault, you shouldn't have spent every minute with your gf during the early months. Your "togetherness", It's routine by now to her. Most of the time, you can't backtrack and break routines with women. They might accuse you of being insensitive or something to that effect. I kind of agree with this. Now that it's not so shiny and new to you anymore you don't want to see her as much. To some women this can be perceived as your losing interest or backing away from the r'ship. That being said - there's no way in hell I could spend that much time with someone. I see my bf 3-4 times a week and alone time is still important to both of us. Every single day? No wonder you got bored. 2
Mascara Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Unfortunately, you kind of set her expectations early on. Not sure how you get out of that now... relationships are supposed to start slowly and build up, but even then never to the point of 24/7. 1
travelbug1996 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 you created a monster. start out how u plan to continue. its both of you.:bunny:
Author Oohlala21 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 (edited) Wow you hit the nail on the head. This is exactly what happened when I went away for the weekend and didn't respond to her texts quick enough or didn't call her enough..."I don't care about the relationship as much as she does" If you like to be emotionally manipulated and guilt tripped into things, she sounds perfect for you. Just remember this is going to bleed into every single aspect of your relationship . "You don't want to move in with me? You must not love me very much." "Its your brothers birthday? You don't love me because you'd rather be with him." " suffocating and can't breathe? You must not love me because if you loved me you wouldn't need time for yourself. " She is immature, needy, manipulative, and thinks she is more important than you. Edited August 6, 2013 by Oohlala21
Author Oohlala21 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 How old is your GF? She sounds very immature, unreasonable, selfish, and clingy. If you want to try to work it out can you speak to someone GF respects (her mom or sister) and have them sit her down and explain the realities of the world and relationships to her? She sounds clueless to how demanding she is. She is 35 and I'm 26. She isn't very close to her family so that wouldn't work. I try to explain things to her but it always seems to come down to I'm being "childish" simply because of my age.
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