Mws Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I sometimes go days and days without thinking about my ex its been 3 months. But sometimes something will trigger a memory of us. And I will almost breakdown and cry, we dated for 5 years she is already dating some one else. For me I dont know how long it will take for me to even be physically attracted to some one else. How long does it usually take people to move on?
Waynester Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 As my mum would say 'how long is a piece of string? Unfortunately there is no magic number, everyone is different. For some it may be days.. others, years! Sorry thats no real help. Like the rest of us, you just have to keep going, & slowly it will get easier. I think separation can be compared in some ways to bereavement. In many ways the emotions are similar.
aloneinaz Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 It's been three months and if you haven't dated or seen any other women? Of course you're going to be mooning over your ex. What's holding you back from understanding that the relationship you had w/her is over? She's moved on and is seeing someone new. Why can't you start to date again? If it's been three weeks, I could see you not wanting to date yet. But three months? It's time to accept the fact that she's gone and move on to a new opportunities. My off/on relationship ended 9 weeks ago. She ended it AGAIN and I was done. Truthfully, I hadn't been happy with her either for a couple of months as I got to know the "real" her. It took me 2-3 weeks of hurting to realize I wasn't going to get over it sitting at home, feeling bad for a failed relationship. I then started dating and it's helped me a ton. I'm seeing someone new now and it helps me realize that there are MILLIONS of single woman in this country that would appreciate and value me like the girl I'm seeing.
keepontruckin Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 Alone, three months is nothing when it comes to staying single after separation... My wife left me four months ago, and although I am not in a bad place mentally, I am nowhere near ready to "hit the scene" and look for love. It wouldn't just be unfair to me, but it would be unfair to my dating partner to bring in ANY remote baggage...
JDPT Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 (edited) There is no way to determine, but one thing I do know is that you can't rush this process. The best answer I can give you is, it will take as long as you want it to take. I personally don't feel I'm ready to go back on the field. It would be unfair to me and will self sabotage my recovery process. We have our ups and downs, however, its up to us to commit and put all the work to get through this rough time. I too have roughly 3 months since I've been dumped by my ex and if I analyze, I'm doing slightly better. I can sleep at night, I'm working out, eating healthy, I'm essentially moving on with my life and so should you. Nothing is stagnant, I used to think I was stuck in time, always thinking about my ex, and just like you any little thing will trigger a thought, a memory, a place, a kiss it was very out of control, I used to ask myself the same question, how much longer am I going to suffer? I learned not to drown in self-pity and that it's up to me to make changes for my own sake because she is no longer in my life, now I'm all alone to fend for myself. And it feels like a very cold world but I also need to understand that there was life before my ex, and quiet honestly life was great before her as far as I can remember. The difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude. Be strong I wish you well. Edited August 4, 2013 by JDPT 2
fujidabruin Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 Ya, I think it is different for everyone. Its only been 8 days of full NC for me and I would not be surprised if I am good and even happy in the next few weeks for her being with someone else. We had little expectation of where the relationship was going even after a year so that help ease the blow for me. Plus we tried going into a FWB mode in May before the intimacy ended and I felt gutted about 10 days ago.
Lei Ping Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 Ya, I think it is different for everyone. Its only been 8 days of full NC for me and I would not be surprised if I am good and even happy in the next few weeks for her being with someone else. We had little expectation of where the relationship was going even after a year so that help ease the blow for me. Plus we tried going into a FWB mode in May before the intimacy ended and I felt gutted about 10 days ago. Concentrate on yourself. Not you in a relationship, just you. You have an opportunity to pick all your emotional blocks up off the floor and build a you who doesn't rely on others to define yourself. It will be a more confident and more attractive you and someone with vision will come along and recognize that and you'll never look back. You will be glad that relationship ended and made room for a fresh, new better one in its place.
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