hannah91 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I met a girl (i'm gay) and instantly we had a really strong connection and understanding of each other. I felt like I'd found my soul mate. We spent lots of time together over the next month and i was immediately falling in love with her. She was interested in someone else at the same time however who she had known for about 6 months before we met but she didn't see her much. She was very honest with me about the other person and it didn't bother me too much because i was so sure that she would figure things out and we would get together. She kissed the other girl on two occasions but after the first time she made out that it wouldn't happen again and that it was me that she was seriously into. She told me that with me she could see a long future whereas with the other girl she knew it would never work but she didn't think she was ready for commitment because shes going travelling for 6 months in a few months time from now. When she kissed her for the second time I told her that I couldn't be in that situation and either it had to be only me or I wouldn't be in her life. She then told me that she couldn't lose me and that she would commit (this was a month after we met). She seemed happy with her decision and we were getting on well, thoroughly enjoying each others company. she told me how much she loved me and that she felt lucky to have found her 'kindred soul'. She also told me that she felt more for me than she ever had for her ex who she had been with for 3 years (they split up over a year before we met). She really isn't over her though which may have been part of the problem. After about 2 months of being official things started to go wrong and she told me that I made her happy when I we were alone but she didn't enjoy being with me when we were around other people, baring in mind that the whole time that we were together we only spent time with her friends because she was in Leeds revising for her final exams.. so I would go to stay with her for 3-4 days a week. A month later she broke up with me over the phone after a night out for her birthday, 2 days later I asked her to meet me to talk face to face but she told me that it was too soon and raw then when I asked her again 2 weeks later she told me that it would be going backwards. She told me that she was going against her feelings for me but that she didn't think that we were right for each other in the 'real sense'. We now haven't spoken for nearly 2 weeks and I miss her so much. I can't believe that she doesn't miss me the same amount. Shes going travelling for 6 months in a few months time to 'find herself' and she said that it would be unfair to leave me in England wondering if the person she found would still want to be with me. I know that she would never have broken up with me face to face because the connection and bond that we had was so strong so she took the easy way out and did it over the phone. She told me that she really wants me in her life but she doesn't think that I'll be able to let go of my feelings for her so its best if we don't see each other. I understand that only time will tell what will happen but does anyone her have any opinions of what is going on with her? Not knowing what will happen is driving me crazy. I know that what we found is special and I cant believe that this can be the end for us. Im hoping she realises what shes given up. I couldn't have treated her better! Can anyone shed any light?
keepontruckin Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Seems to me that she isn't ready to settle down, and wants to keep her options open (meaning options NOT including you)... How you handle this will mean very little to her, since I'd doubt she'd care if you disappeared from the face of the Earth. Do you want to be Plan B, a backup plan, a doormat, or a clown? If you are down with an "open" relationship, by all means keep her listed in the Rolodex. If you are looking for a true partner in life, drop her like a hot potato. No contact, nothing. Focus on yourself, and focus on finding someone else that shares your views and direction in life.
Recommended Posts