hippetyhop Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I don't think I have ever seen this post...but has any OM/OW feel like karma may get them for being involved where they were supposed to? I often wonder--will my next love cheat on me? If xMM ever gets divorced he won't come back for me (dare to dream, ha!)? Will I not ever find someone because of being selfish in this situation? 2
Goodbye Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Yeah, maybe. I do hope karma kicks the exMM's a$$. 3
Author hippetyhop Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 Yeah, maybe. I do hope karma kicks the exMM's a$$. I kinda hope the same things. He is getting what he deserves. His wife is having a leash on him for his actions. Who knows if he goes out on a Saturday night with his buddies anymore. He is at her beck and call, and who knows how long that'll last. He thinks this will blow over--from the sounds of it not just yet. Yet, she likely has something against him that she isn't revealing either.
fanine Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I don't believe karma will get me. Yes I feel guilty that ultimately I stayed with a married man after I found out he was married (he had lied when we had first met). That is something I have to deal with and in the end that was my decision. But I think I have suffered enough due to the pain I know feel in NC, the pain I feel for somehow being led on, lied to, how my trust was broken, how all the love I showed him was slapped back in my face. I don't think I will pay for this in any other way. I'm not hoping for karma for the xMM - I think he has that already. I found out down the line he has a lifetime of failed relationships, marriages, cheating, kids in 4 countries......I know he is not happy due to his middle of the night phone calls when he was in the depths of despair...he will not do anything to change the way he lives and I can see he will probably spend the rest of his life like that - with no-one to blame for himself. He takes no responsibility for what he does and always shifts the blame. Yet he is deeply, deeply unhappy and will probably go on and damage more women. He is getting what he deserves because he will not change.
Pierre Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 The so-called Karma is often related to the choices people make. In other words Karma is often self induced. 1
skywriter Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I've wondered about bad karma from being an OW too. What I do know for certain, is when I was in the A, I was in a bad place emotionally, and spiritually. When I got out of the A initially I was grieving what I thought to be a loss. With time and reading alot of LS, I gradually improved emotionally and spiritually. I think the A was the bad karma for me. 3
scatterd Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I believe in karma I personally have had it and seen it come back to others in the same way they did things I also believe it does not come back until you are finished doing what you are doing that way you get back the full amount you gave. For example: I have a niece that lied to my daughters probation officer about my husband and I doing drugs so she could have my daughter live with her and get her child support. They appointed her temporary guardianship, when she had her She did drugs with her set her up with an older friend which led to her getting pregnant and spent her child support on her self and my daughter did not have food or things she needed. My daughter ended up coming back home but Any way years later her husband lied about her, got a restraining order on her, he kicked her out, took their child,made her pay child support she ended up hungry and homeless for a while also a drug addict.she believed it was karma for what she did I have to wonder also. I have many more examples but this was long enough.
missy268 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I think i've had my karma in the sense of him coming back and re starting the fling with me and then leaving me for somebody else. It shows me what he really is like, and it really hurt. That must how she felt knowing he was possibly in love with somebody else. I saw a photo of him with her, and he is not smiling on any of them and she is beaming, like the cat who got the cream....so what's up with him? missing me ;) I am joking, i hope he's not! but he will hurt her one day, cheat on her like the rest and maybe he won't get away with it so easily and that will be his karma I'm happier without him though and i can't imagine him being in my life ever again, it's so odd, as i actually thought i could never live without him - how wrong could i be?
HopingAgain Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 The so-called Karma is often related to the choices people make. In other words Karma is often self induced. Very true. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is some of the soundest advice ever given. 2
LimeBlue Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I'm not hoping for karma for the xMM - I think he has that already. I found out down the line he has a lifetime of failed relationships, marriages, cheating, kids in 4 countries......I know he is not happy due to his middle of the night phone calls when he was in the depths of despair...he will not do anything to change the way he lives and I can see he will probably spend the rest of his life like that - with no-one to blame for himself. He takes no responsibility for what he does and always shifts the blame. Yet he is deeply, deeply unhappy and will probably go on and damage more women. He is getting what he deserves because he will not change. Wow I think that you and I are dealing with the same person! Or do they all do this?
Pierre Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I believe in karma I personally have had it and seen it come back to others in the same way they did things I also believe it does not come back until you are finished doing what you are doing that way you get back the full amount you gave. For example: I have a niece that lied to my daughters probation officer about my husband and I doing drugs so she could have my daughter live with her and get her child support. They appointed her temporary guardianship, when she had her She did drugs with her set her up with an older friend which led to her getting pregnant and spent her child support on her self and my daughter did not have food or things she needed. My daughter ended up coming back home but Any way years later her husband lied about her, got a restraining order on her, he kicked her out, took their child,made her pay child support she ended up hungry and homeless for a while also a drug addict.she believed it was karma for what she did I have to wonder also. I have many more examples but this was long enough. I have a different take. I think Karma is often related to the choices people make. For example some may say single APs make poor choices in selecting married cheating APs. So if anything goes wrong it may very well be to the inability to make good choices. 1
HopingAgain Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I would say its wise to be concerned about it. People often think they can outrun their actions, but what you invite into your life stays there until you get rid of it. I have often thought about how being comfortable cheating with others has made a direct impact on me being cheated on. Some will say its all random and karma isn't real, but don't fool yourself. What you do to others will come back to you in some shape or form 2
Author hippetyhop Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 With me feeling how I do with my xMM my karma for being involved with him?
scatterd Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Pierre I have a different take. I think Karma is often related to the choices people make. For example some may say single APs make poor choices in selecting married cheating APs. So if anything goes wrong it may very well be to the inability to make good choices. That may be true but never the less I have seen karma come back many ways. Their is many things odd in this world that we may not understand or have explanations for.We all go off what we see and experience in life.I use to think the more rotten a person was the more they got away with. But after being in this world for a while I noticed it takes years sometimes before things come back. 1
So happy together Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I think karma is overrated. When you consider it... that would mean that we would have to ask ourselves what the BS did to deserve such a fate... karma and all. So it's really quite unfair.
Pierre Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I think karma is overrated. Exactly! The so-called karma is actually self inflicted punishment. 1
Got it Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I don't think I have ever seen this post...but has any OM/OW feel like karma may get them for being involved where they were supposed to? I often wonder--will my next love cheat on me? If xMM ever gets divorced he won't come back for me (dare to dream, ha!)? Will I not ever find someone because of being selfish in this situation? I do believe patterns of behavior will influence future behaviors but Karma, no. 1
bentleychic Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I've thought about it, BUT was honestly a good person for so long and still suffered such shyt, I'm hoping I've got good karma points stored up from all the good stuff that I did and never got credited for. /tongue in cheek It is what it is, can't go back and change time. (Boy do I wish I DID have a time machine! )
Author hippetyhop Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 I've thought about it, BUT was honestly a good person for so long and still suffered such shyt, I'm hoping I've got good karma points stored up from all the good stuff that I did and never got credited for. /tongue in cheek It is what it is, can't go back and change time. (Boy do I wish I DID have a time machine! ) That is how I think--this is just one major thing in my life that I did wrong. Otherwise, I *think* I've done pretty well. If not..I'll pick you up in my DeLorean and we can redo pre-A. 1
bentleychic Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 That is how I think--this is just one major thing in my life that I did wrong. Otherwise, I *think* I've done pretty well. If not..I'll pick you up in my DeLorean and we can redo pre-A. Sounds good! As much as I know the A is the worst choice I've made, it's actually not the only thing I'd change. LOL I'd change my exH, too...except for the fact that I wouldn't have my fabulous kids without him.
S-babe Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I see this karma thing like that. I was in an A for past 4 months. Now its almost 3 weeks of NC. This week I went to this woman to find out whether it is karma or not. And yeah...what she told me that we have karmic relationship - that probably in past life we were involved in relationship and then it was reverse way (that i probably dumped him). And the solution is -TO LET HIM GO, emotionally. Basically I have to ask him for forgivness (about the past life) and to forgive him for this one. It's actually hard especially she told me he has feelings for me. But time heals everything, right? 1
bentleychic Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Woooowooooo Not sure about all of that. LOL And if it's true, whatever Gods/spirits there are making me pay for a past life can kiss my butt. I almost wonder if the torment, pain, suffering, loneliness, settling for crumbs, feeling like second best/not a priority (etc., etc., etc.) that an OW deals with isn't karma in and of itself.
MissBee Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I don't think I have ever seen this post...but has any OM/OW feel like karma may get them for being involved where they were supposed to? I often wonder--will my next love cheat on me? If xMM ever gets divorced he won't come back for me (dare to dream, ha!)? Will I not ever find someone because of being selfish in this situation? Karma doesn't really work like that. But all actions have consequences, some unforeseen. One seems to be guilt and worry about karma which may follow you for a while... 1
bentleychic Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Sure, it's the karma (if you want to call it that) you've allowed and accepted into your life. No one is twisting your arm to stay in a situation where you feel all those negative things. Your choice. You are absolutely 100% correct.
ladydesigner Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 (edited) The so-called Karma is often related to the choices people make. In other words Karma is often self induced. Definitely Pierre I agree. I don't necessarily believe that Karma gets people (although sometimes I would like to think that), but I do believe people end up suffering from bad choices and the consequences that follow for those bad choices. My WH's A consequence = Caused our M to fall apart and no more trust. Loss of friends associated with A. My RA = I damaged myself and caused my M to fall apart. My WH does not see me the same just as I do not see him the same. Loss of some friends who were not friends of the M. WH has little to no trust for me. MOW = Lost her job which left her financially incapable to take care of her daughter, her BS left her after I disclosed the A had gone underground, and loss of friends. Nobody came out of our situation unscathed. Edited August 2, 2013 by ladydesigner
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