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Posted

1.5 years out I had two nightmares last night that he cheated for the 3rd time.... He was great about it but still...

 

and tonight he wants to go to a festival in the neighboring town where he works and the two OW live... I'll be "on guard" the entire night. i hate this.

Posted

The nightmares happen. Trust me, I still get them and I was in R for nearly 1.5 years, and now separated for 4 months.

 

I know they suck, they hurt and there are times I wake up and I'm completely miserable. But they are just that, nightmares.

 

One thing I suggest that helped me when I woke up with nightmares, is to roll over and hug you SO. Even if you're angry at them, just hold them, or better yet have them hold you. Cry, get angry, whatever helps while you're being held. Let me know what happened, then it's their job to comfort you.

 

Sounds like you SO, is helping you through it.

 

Not sure if it's an option for you, but when I wake up with nightmares and since I'm alone in my own place now, I immediately get out of bed and go for a run. 5km in 19 minutes or less, and by the time I finish I feel great.

 

Maybe for you just a quick jog, or something to take your mind off the nightmares and get those endorphins going.

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Posted

Interesting you should say this Smoke. First dream was at 3:44 am. Second at 5.. by 5:45 I was in the pool sprinting 1000 yards. I knew it was what I needed.

Thanks!

Posted

It is odd.

 

I normally get my nightmares between the hours of 2am to 5am.

 

Maybe someone can chime in, who has an understanding of such things.

Posted

Good luck with tonight. I hope you're attending the festival with him. ?? If so, perhaps the experience will help you trigger less about that town in the future - reclaim it as your own, so to speak.

Posted

BH makes a very good point.

 

Reclaiming that area for you and SO, may help you regain some power over the negativity of your dreams and whatnot.

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Posted

our towns are connected so I'm over there about three times a week.

 

Reclaiming? hmm.. there are so many places around town he took the OW. Now, our daughter works at one of the places where he made out with one...

 

I've been worried about it all day and I deserve something different for my life. Yes, I'll go. Yes, I'll be worried.

 

But, I really have no desire to reclaim anything with him. He ruined those spots and honestly, he doesn't deserve the effort.

 

Sorry, guess I'[m in a bad spot today.

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