lavenderlove Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Hey everyone, I have been doing NC for 12 days now. There has been no attempt to break the current status quo on his behalf. We did run into each other by chance on the street not far from my workplace, not far from the time I usually start work. But then, it's a small town, it is probably a coincidante. Brief conversation,he invited me for coffee, which I declined by saying that I already told him how I feel about this. (12 days ago when I told him that we can't be friends because I still have feelings for him) After having said this I walked off while he was still talking to me. This was three days ago. I have this huge deadline tomorrow, I am finalising a project I have been working on for a whole year. It was a shipwreck of a process couple of disasters hit, and this body of work I am looking at now mirrors my last year with him, plus all that I went through in my life since our BU. Yet I feel so hesitant in stepping across this line and moving onto the next phase. I am quite nervous about tomorrow a lot depends on it, but recently I have been very happy and inspired about my life including my work and my relationships. Tonight feels like a setback. And more then ever I feel like giving him a call to just have a chat about my work, I am really tense. So hard. Any suggestions?
anythingbut Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 You are inevitaboly having a wobble due to the pressure with work, causing you to feel anxious in general. It's natural to want to break no contact in such situations. My advice? I would write down what you intend to say to him if you did contact him. This will allow you to get your feelings out and give you an opportunity to reflect with more clarity on whether or not contacting him is a good idea. Chances are, you will realise that breaking no contact is not a good idea and will get you noweher apart from back to square one. Good luck with your project
Author lavenderlove Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 Thank you for the kind words. I already wrote down my thought to him in a letter. Don't be alarmed I have been writing poetry and prose and some letters too, I am not sending him any of these. I think the problem isn't just work, but also the way he acted last time I saw him. He was on the other side of the street. Our eyes met, and I kept walking. He started calling out to me and ran ahead of me crossing two light while they were red just so he can meet on the other side of the lights I was waiting to cross. It was all really cute. He seemed keen to talk to me. Meanwhile doing NC I realised I still love him, but in no way will I reconcile with him unless I see some major improvements. So there is nothing left to do but staying No Contact.
Author lavenderlove Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Hi everyone, Thought I would share with you my update on how the day went. I still woke up thinking about my ex, and then as my work started to roll and I had to focus on that rather than my emotions the cloud started lifting. And because I relaxed instead of stressing about each and every step of the process, I had some real fun meeting new people and getting my portfolio completed with amazing results! I just had this flow to each step, and everything followed and fell into place seamlessly. It's total satisfying completion to my last year I never expected to finalise with such a high note. And after all this I wonder if my day would have been any better with him by my side? Would I rather be in his arm right now? No. I think I like this journey.
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 I'm so happy for you!!! I think this is genuinely the best post I have read all day 1
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