richard9 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Brief background; with her for 2 years, known her for 3, she was my life, I put her before everything and everyone even my family. Loved her with my all. She made some new friends and wanted to be single so she could do as they did and go out and party. She wanted to stay friends, but I could not. She broke my heart and left me in dispare. I threw myself into work, working 60+ hours a week, it did help but those first months were torture. All my friends were her friends, I was left alone with none. I joined a gym and started kickboxing, this really helped, but I was still very lonely and thought about her everyday. I got accepted into University, this was a god send, literally I thank God that he has given me something to look forward to and something that I hope will be a new start for me. Changing my number was perhaps the biggest step, but one which made a huge difference. No more heart palpitations when the phone rings or buzzes. I can now look at my phone 11 months on and not feel anxiety. The thoughts and memories do dissipate with time, and even though I still think of her the physical symptoms are not there. If somepne says her name it does still hurt but its now fleeting and doesnt effect my mood for any significant time. It DOES get better, but you have to accept they are gone. Ive only just accepted it. She made a new facebook and popped up as someone I may know. My heart started racing, I brought up her profile photo, you know what? She isnt the goddess I remember, yes she is very pretty BUT so are other girls. I think I am almost there in thinking that! It sounds bad, but the girl I loved is dead, she is someone that is gone and that someone is not who she is now. My former self is also dead, I have new respect for my family, I have more pride in my appearance and I seek to better myself in mind, body and spirit. Rather than living for someone else. I still get lonely, I am alone, and this summer is the first without her. But not long until uni starts in september. Just felt like posting something today.
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I'm so proud of you. I hope to get there too
Author richard9 Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 I'm so proud of you. I hope to get there too Thankyou! It takes soooo much time when you truely loved them. But I have learnt so much about myself, and tried to change things for the better. If nothing else I am no longer lost in her and have real time for my family. You will get there, trust me. Stay no contact and the thoughts will fade, its a bit sad when they do but its all part of the healing process. God Bless :-)
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