Cyber relationships, can they work?

[irc333]

There's this woman I know, that's back on the market again that I hadn't seen in quite a long time.

 

Back in the day, she had an online thing going on with a soldier stationed in the Middle east, apparently she had met him in some online dating venue geared towards men stationed overseas....and when he "got back from the front" they were to be married.

 

Never knew what happened with that, because she kind of faded from our social circle for a good long time...so I was assuming she hooked up with him eventually.

 

But during her correspondence she'd get out and socialize and other single guys would tease her about her man overseas or make digs towards this "cyber-relationship" she had going on with him. He'd send her pics of him from the desert.....but I was wanting to ask is this something thats advsible?

 

I personally can't see how a person can be in a relationship with someone from an online standpoint, while frustrating other single men who want to be with her....and are already NEAR her face to face. lol

[Emilia]

I personally can't see how a person can be in a relationship with someone from an online standpoint, while frustrating other single men who want to be with her....and are already NEAR her face to face. lol

You mean she is frustrating men because she isn't putting out?

[MissBee]

Is this the same 50 year old woman?

 

In any case, I get how people can develop relationships online, especially nowadays. I have. However, no matter how close and in love I feel in a cyber relationship, I am going to need real face time before declaring I'm engaged or anything of the sort...as sometimes online doesn't translate the same face to face. There is a lot you simply cannot know or experience just through words on a screen or video chat, and IMO, you NEED face time to supplement that and no rash decisions should be made like moving or marrying without significant face time.

 

Ever watch the tv show Catfish? It's about people in online relationships but essentially they're being tricked by people who are lying about themselves and their lives, using the virtual nature of the internet to aid them. Some people are online creating entire virtual realities, using fake pictures, fake stories, fake fb profiles and the list goes on....and some people on that show have done it and talked to the same person for yeaaaaaars! The person is no doubt in love and invested, they talk on the phone, the cyber romance has been on going for years and then when they finally meet...surprise...the person isn't who they pretended to be. So another thing IMO is please don't take someone's word online, just cause. At least video chat, at least Google them, something!

 

Some people just use the internet as an escape. They feel loved and validated in online relationships without really having to put themselves out there. Some people can do it for years. I could not. Once I really start liking you I want to see you promptly in the flesh, so even if we met online, I would push for a face to face meeting soon. There are lots of reasons someone may prefer some far away person they've never seen face to face over people they see regularly...one is: commitment phobia. Many commitment phobic people choose unavailable people, whether it is an affair or they live across the world or where some other kind of built in obstacle/limit to vulnerability and a true relationship exists.

Edited August 2, 2013 by MissBee

[irc333]

NO, this is a early 30's woman that I knew from a while back from my older social circles. A LOT of guys in our group were wanting to date her. She was kind of a tease though and loved being the center of attention.

 

That's why I found it ironic that she wouldn't dump a cyber relationship over these local guys.

 

She also lives way out in the boonies, so her being remotely living where she lived probably just further reinforced the fantasy of online dating.

 

 

Is this the same 50 year old woman?

 

In any case, I get how people can develop relationships online, especially nowadays. I have. However, no matter how close and in love I feel in a cyber relationship, I am going to need real face time before declaring I'm engaged or anything of the sort...as sometimes online doesn't translate the same face to face. There is a lot you simply cannot know or experience just through words on a screen or video chat, and IMO, you NEED face time to supplement that and no rash decisions should be made like moving or marrying without significant face time.

 

Ever watch the tv show Catfish? It's about people in online relationships but essentially they're being tricked by people who are lying about themselves and their lives, using the virtual nature of the internet to aid them. Some people are online creating entire virtual realities, using fake pictures, fake stories, fake fb profiles and the list goes on....and some people on that show have done it and talked to the same person for yeaaaaaars! The person is no doubt in love and invested, they talk on the phone, the cyber romance has been on going for years and then when they finally meet...surprise...the person isn't who they pretended to be. So another thing IMO is please don't take someone's word online, just cause. At least video chat, at least Google them, something!

 

Some people just use the internet as an escape. They feel loved and validated in online relationships without really having to put themselves out there. Some people can do it for years. I could not. Once I really start liking you I want to see you promptly in the flesh, so even if we met online, I would push for a face to face meeting soon. There are lots of reasons someone may prefer some far away person they've never seen face to face over people they see regularly...one is: commitment phobia. Many commitment phobic people choose unavailable people, whether it is an affair or they live across the world or where some other kind of built in obstacle/limit to vulnerability and a true relationship exists.