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Its a long stoelr

lila9k

By lila9k
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lila9k

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Ok so ill start from the beginning, I was going out with this guy who was super nice (known for sleeping around/trouble) but he was so different with me I could tell he liked me but I think if was always just physical attraction I felt towards him. It was all good and no fights with him. Than luck would have it I meet this other guy -.- we constantly text, he asks me everyday if I like him but I would tell him that I had a boyfriend that I couldn't answer that question, truthfully I was developing feelings for him.

 

Well one day the boyfriend posts a picture of him with this other girl and I thought well if he can be doing that and I can tell this guy that I do like him. Well it started off from there I started falling for this guy having a boyfriend(my fault I know) and I even kissed him while still being with my boyfriend, so well I obviously cheated. I ended up breaking up with ny boyfriend telling him that we barely saw each other and right now wasn't a good time and we endes good stupid me a week later I start going out with this new guy. But I'm crazy about him its not just physical attraction. (Before meeting this new guy I had fooled around with my boyfriend,basically considered sex.)

 

Well okay I'm with the new one and at the beginning It's great except that my ex now hates me because it was obvious I left him fot the now current boyfriend and i felt so bad for hurting him like that but I was in love with this guy like I've ever been before. I could just feel the difference. We started fighting practically every other week. When i went out of town he went to the movies with his cousin and two girls -.- after every fight he would ask me if i wanted to break up with him, another instance my friend learned from someone that he supposedly had this other girl too from some other school and me and that it was perfect because we would begets find out. When I confronted him he neither admitted or denied it just said "believe what you want" above all this i always forgave him because I loved him.

 

I had never cried for a guy so I knew I really had feelings for him. One time he even asked if i wanted a break but only for the weekend It sounded so stupid and I hated him for that but without a break got past it. By this time I'm realizing how friendly(flirty) he is which annoys the heck out of me. And around this time I start looking back at my past relationship how I never fought with him and it was pretty "good" relationship with a good friend so I start making cobtact with him again.

 

One day after too much fighting my boyfriend and I break up, him basically the one saying it (I made sure) and I didnt care anymore at the moment I was too hurt already to care and excited about having contact with my ex again. I basically hik to take me back we were dating but not officially but the day my boyfriend and i broke up went to my exs house with my friend and hanged out with him (I kissed him). The next school day my just "broken up with" boyfriend starts telling me that it was a mistake that he loves me he wants me back. This confuses me soo much because I obviously did love him but I had already compromised myself with my ex and well I felt so bad but basically I told the recent ex that I'd did want him back but I needed time to slowly end thing with the other ex without having him hate me again for a while I had them both practically.

 

Before I told the recent ex that I did want him back I had already been on a sort of compromising(sexually) situation with the ex. So the recent ex become my boyfriend and but im still trying to end things with the other one. Till one day my ex finds out that I'm hung out again with bob(ill just put a random name so its not too confusing, the firat ex will be henry) so Henry starts hating me again but I'm happy with bob It's all good until one dqy bob goes out of town and I go to a school even were Henry will be at. It made me sad to see Henry because you could just tell how mad he was at me he would ignore me while in a group of friends and was kissing some girl infront of me purposely. It made me sad and jealous too. So when bob found out I was there he got so mad at me and we basically broke up.

 

That night I was crying in my room and I decided that I had to make a decision between bother because I couldn't keep hurting them and being confused. so that nught I decides Henry was the one for me. I start talking to him again but bob start telling me he loves me he becomes the perfect boyfriend that I was looking for when we first started going out. I did feel sad I did feel like saying Yes to jim but i had promised myself to stay with my choice so I did. Spring break came and bob told me he was gonna leave me alone because he couldn't keep hurting. I thought I was fine with that. Halfway through springbreak I realize that bob was the one for me not henry and it was just this like out of nowhere feeling like I just knew.

 

And during that week I told bob that he was the one that I was so sorry and i would do everything to make it up. He went to my house and everything and basically gave me signs that he wanted me too. that same week he had been hanging out with some girl(mindy) whom he had been talking with even before he met me. This crushed me but I he told me he wanted me so I didn't make that a big deal. We started with mending all the hurt he had against me for my confusement. I basically compromised not to talk to Henry again although we had lost touch. Bob and i started hanging out again, he would take me out but there would be moment were he was srill questioning everuthing because how hurt he was.

 

One day he took me out with his family and we were having a great night until he sat on me and was texting someone and when I peeked over his shoulder he was calling mindy "babe" and just a boyfriend/girlfriend conversation. That crushed me because he was telling me that he did want to try again and taking me out and kissing me while having this girl also. I just asked him to take me home but didn't say anything about what I saw. When I did tell him he told me that he was just going along with her because she really liked him, I forgave him. Another instance he also told me that he had slept with her (when we weren't together) he was very detailed and this crushed me I could even see him the same way. I know i had done the same but bot dis it hurt I didn't know if I could forgive him. But I did.

 

Because I excused everything with "he put up with me and everything i did to him" I never told him about me and Henry compromising situations. For about a month we constantly fought about everything how hurt he was by me one day he wanyed to work it out another day he didnt. every day for me was basically crying. I was always sad and crying over it. He would tell me he wouldn't stop talking to mindy because she was a frind but that he wasn't going to ha wn anything but friendship with her I just couldn't accept it. He than told mw that he would stop talking to her after his birthday because she was going to give him a gift. I was in love and just qanted him back so i was like ok.

 

the day after his birthday we started going our again officially I thoughtit was too fast because everything was really complicated still but he asked me out and i couldnt say no. That month it was rocky we would fight it was the month before out prom to which I really wanted to go but he didnt. He would be so secretive about his phone and we were still fighting over every single thing(mainly just him about Henry to whom i didnt talk to anymore). He ended up asking me to prom but it felt like he jusr did it because he was forced to since we were going out already. Friends even told me that in class he would complain a lot about having to go. That whole situation really ruined the idea of prom for me but he had bought the tickets already. We went to prom and had a wonderful time after that day things started getting betterhe was starting to love me again like before and i was still in love with him.

 

We were good for a long while and one day a girl that I didn't know at all came up to me and told me bob had kissed her gone to her house and always told her she was pretty and that he wanted her. When I told him about it he denied it looked me in the eyes and swore to me that that never happened at all and not wvwn close. I told him that if he was lying I wouldn't forgive him and he still swore to me. In the bottom of my heart I knew the truth i just couldn't accept it. The following day I got the girl to confront him infront of me so I could see who was lying. And between the heated discussion he admitted that a kiss had happened. It was a punch to my heart. Itfelt horrible. I know I had pulled a lot of crap on him before but I made sure that I never cheates on him. And here he was looking at me after he swore to me that there had been bo kiss.

 

When she left he begged for me to forgive him that she was the one who kissed him out he pulled away. Long story short I forgave him because well my justification "he put up with me when I did all that stuff to him" and I loved him. Everything went back to normal for a loonng while again it was fine we were together and happy again. One day I decide to see his Twitter and went back to the begging of when we started gong out agaib and I found a lot of tweets about him and mindy together. How he had betyer plans for prom to be with her. They went to movies and raves together when we had been going out again it just crushed me again. It was the last kick to the heart I could of take the final blow.

 

And above all that I was dumb enough to forgive it because I love him and "he put up with me blah blah blah" that was basically the last major incident we had. Since then It's been a while, a year basically. He's head over heels for me the perfect boyfriend any girl would love he does everything I need and gives me everything i want I truly truly loves me and I believe this from the bottom of my heart. I know he woupd never ever do anything like that again. But he tells me that I've changed that im not his same girl from when we started. And I didn't know what he mean until recently.

 

I realized I have anger towards hom him still because of how much he hurt me. No one had ever broken my heart at all and not as much as he did. And although I forgave him I didn't forget. I dont care about it anymore but I don't forget it, it doesn't hurt anymore but I dont forget it. I find my self too overwhelmed by him because he's always there and he annoys me sometimes. I don't like kissing him like I used to I feel suffocated sometimes. But I know that if I ended things with him I would be heartbroken. I've gotten so used to him I don't know how it would be without him but I'm not attracted physically by him,

 

I like checking other guys out. Like its not the same how I used to feel like he was the only one for me, not after all he did to me.. and now I don't know what to do. How to deal with him. How to stay with him and make my feelings grow again.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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