emisthename Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 (edited) Hi people, Please help me.. Here is the low down. I'm a lesbian 30 years old. I met this chick through work- she was my staff. I fell in love hard and fast- we start sleeping together and I know she has a bf and me then a gf! I break up with mine as I don't like not agree with cheating. Bla bla bla- long story short Friday night I talk to her and ask her what's happening with us- what does she want me to so? I ask if she wants me to wait- she replies "yes" Saturday I txt and she don't reply- I txt the later on that night "your a fuxking cannnnt bro- I deserve better then thes and can do better then this" Then no reply back- Monday I send one more txt and it says "hey hope you all good- your still a bitch but yeah hope u is ok". No reply so I call- hangs up I receive the following text: "I don't love you, I don't want to be with you. Just move on with your life, I am getting on with my family" OUCH! I replied with the following ":(" That was Monday it's now Friday- I have been NC and will not contact her after that msg, but I just need help as I am missing her so damn much! She has never said anything like that to me Before, she used to say it about him. She led me to believe she was in love with me the entire 7 months and now she just switched off! Does she not care anymore? Any advice welcomed! Cheers! Edited August 2, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Spelling
Misfortune Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Did she say what her orientation was, bi, homo or hetero? How old is she? Why not go after someone single and full les? Why do gays try to be with seemingly straight people? Just curious. Anyway......She either had her fling and called it quits or her bf/family/friends/new affair got to her and she decided to stop with you. People will always talk bad about the one their being deceitful to, to try to rationalize that what they're doing, is ok. 1
Author emisthename Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 Haha yea a few of us homos do go for the straight ones, guess its the hard to get thing! Ummm she is bi, and she is 34. I get that mayb she just changed her mind, but I gave so much I just don't understand why she couldn't of been a bit less harsh I miss her and actually can't stop thinking of her even though what she did was so harsh and unlike her..
Misfortune Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I figured she is since she likes both but some people still identify themselves as something else sometimes. The harsher they are, the easier it is for you to dislike them and let go. Sometimes people just don't reciprocate our feelings, it sucks. It also sucks when you thought you knew some one and they change up on you. Is she younger? Good of you to maintain NC. you have to accept that it's over and get on with your life. Concentrate on making yourself happy again without her. In time, with NC, she will occupy your mind less and less. 1
Philosoraptor Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Sounds like there is a lot of drama here. Regardless, she stated that she doesn't want to be with you. All you can do is respect that and move on to greater and better things. 1
Exitleft Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Stay away from sexually confused women, women with boyfriends, women with husbands, don't date people you work with. I tell you from my own experience, sadly more than once, you can minimize some of the drama by making sure you date like minded women; lesbians. My ex told me all the same things and true enough it ended with her wanting a lifestyle I couldn't give her. I know this hurts like hell right now. The best you can do is maintain no contact, do not give her another chance to hurt you again because she will. Best of luck 1
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 Sorry that you're hurt, it sounds so complicated Keep going with the NC and if you miss her try to get distracted! Have a look through this forum and the "Coping" forum, there's lots of good ideas. 1
Author emisthename Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 Thanks everyone for the support! I know that I should never date at work, but in this case I weakened. Trust me I am 30 she is 34 and the issue about her being into me or not was not there, she was full on- made me shy and that's weird lol. There is a lot of drama, there is also a lot more that I haven't said about how much I was there for her and how much of my own time and life I dedicated to her, I'm just angry because at the end of the day she just walked away and left me to pick up the pieces and put my life back together, and what kind of break up is that? Out of the blue and as harsh as "I don't love you I don't want to be with you" seriously I would of preferred the "it's not you it's me" speel. How can she just hurt me like that, how can you go from telling someone you love them and miss them to write a msg like that, member we don't fight, when we are together we laugh. My sad pathetic question is, does she care? Does she think of me? Will she contact me again?
forgetmenot75 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I think she has been clear, and you have to thank her for being so honest. It's better the cruel truth than the stupid lies, even though you'd have preferred the last one. Trust me, at the end, you'll thank her for not being a player and let you move on. 2
Author emisthename Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 U think? I would prefer a explanation like we were tight! We talked of getting married of raising kids and we would spend all night on the phone. To just say "I don't love you, don't wanna be with you" is real hurtful plus taken into consideration that just the night before I was asking her what she wanted and she wanted me to wait until she sorts herself out cause she is confused. I suppose this is the punishment I get for falling in love with someone who is addicted to meth, tried so hard to help her get off it and get clean and get away from her supplier who is actually her bf. but obviously I don't rate in the scheme of things, every fibre of my being is worrying about her and wanting to call her right this minute but I know that I cannot do that as her txt said it all... But yeah day 6 today and nothing from her and nothing to her! I invested so much of me into her and us it is so hurtful, I despise drugs I found out after a few months she was a functioning addict. I stood by her and helped her as much as I could whilst not enabling her to use. I give up, I feel all I do is give, and all everyone else does is take advantage of me. So depressed today- dont know how much more of people I can take :-(
Misfortune Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 Welcome to our world; filled to the brim with disappointment, hopefulness, experience and support. -1 for having an affair. +1 for letting your gf go and not be a cake eater. you can't help her if she doesn't want to help herself. Sorry. How did you break it off with your gf? Were you harsh? I hear that the dumpers always care about us and have our best interests at heart -_- The harshness is to leave you feeling hopeless so you'll leave them alone sooner. The "I'm confused/need space" is usually a nice way of saying "I'm done with you, off to screw someone new". And when they're bored/down they'll contact you for a nice ego boost because you're such a good friend.
Author emisthename Posted August 3, 2013 Author Posted August 3, 2013 Hell no! Me and my ex gf are still in contact. I just told her we need time apart as I have so many issues in my head, she went and we talk everyday. We are like best mates it's weird, she's fine and I'm fine. So I wasn't harsh. Yeah, makes sense about the harsh msg to get rid of me quick, I guess it is what it is ill just continue to mope in silence. Thanks for your msgs I really appreciate it
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